Negotiating With Flair

Summary: Matt Flannery is a negotiator that is tired of always having to talk down criminals. He decides to take matters into his own hands. An Office Space AU.

Chapter One: A Case of the Monday's

Matt walked slowly to his desk. He sat down in his chair, and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hey man, did you get your Depositions done yet?" Greg asked.

"Not yet," Matt said, hoping his partner would leave him alone.

"Matt," Cheryl called from her office.

"Yeah Ms. Carrera?" Matt asked.

"I need to see you in my office," Cheryl said, coffee in hand.

Matt got up and trudged toward her office.

"Matt did you get the memo on your Deposition Reports?" Cheryl asked.

"Yes Ma'am," Matt said.

"Then why is the top sheet not on your Deposition Report?" Cheryl asked.

"I must have forgot," Matt said.

"Well, let me get you another copy of that memo. I know I have one around here somewhere," Cheryl said.

"Look Ms. Carrera, I have the memo, it's on my desk. I really just forgot, it won't happen again," Matt said.

"Ah..here we go, there's another copy, and please from now on try and remember the top sheet," Cheryl said.

Matt grabbed the paper, and controlled the urge to roll his eyes, "Yes Ma'am."

R Sims Room

Lia looked over the papers that Cheryl gave her to review.

"Are you serious," Lia blurted out.

"What now?" Duff asked, from his station right beside her.

"They are cutting our budget again. They're going to overly piss me off one of these days," Lia said.

"Oh...feisty aren't we," Duff said.

"Shut up," Lia said, as she heard the door creak open.

"Lia Mathers," the girl called.

Lia raised her hand, she couldn't believe how stupid the woman actually was. Being the only woman located in the R Sims room, and she acted as if a guy would actually have that name.

"Duff Gon-Gon-Gon," the girl repeatedly tried to call out his name.

"I'll take that," Duff said.

"Oh look it's a new memo, I'm beginning to wonder if it's really the FBI that we work for," Lia said.

"Well at least people here can pronounce your name. I mean how hard is it to say Gonzalez?" Duff asked.

"Well, for some it could be difficult I guess," Lia said, trying to suppress the giggle that wanted to escape.

Matt's Desk

"Hey Matt, did you get that memo on the Deposition Reports?" Greg asked.

Matt bawled up his fist, and twisted his neck, trying to keep in the words that wanted to come out.

"Yes I got the memo," Matt said.

"Oh okay, well cause Ms. Carrera asked me about you not putting the top sheet on, and I just wanted to make sure," Greg said.

"I got it," Matt said, before getting out of his seat, and walking toward the R Sims room.

R Sims Room

"Okay who here thinks that my partner Greg is a moron?" Matt asked.

"Uh...I do," Lia said, as Duff nodded in agreement.

"Good, glad it isn't just me then," Matt said, shaking off his frustration.

"Nope, but then again, I hate any guy that stares at me like I'm a slab of meat," Lia commented.

"Oh, you do," Duff said, moving his eyes to Matt.

"Okay, look I have got to get some half-way decent coffee if I'm going to make it through another day of talking down the bad guys. Anyone up for a trip to Sloans?" Matt asked.

"Dude, it's like early still, do you really think that Ms. Carrera will allow us to go?" Duff asked.

"She will," Matt said.

At Sloans

"Hello there, name is Jimmy, how can I help you?" Lacey asked.

"Three coffee's please," Matt said.

"Would you like any food to go with those coffee's?" Lacey asked.

"No, just the coffee's please," Matt said

"Oh...sounds like someone's got a case of the Monday's," Lacey smiled before heading off.

"Woah, there she is," Matt said, pointing toward a beautiful red-head.

"Matt, your always talking about this girl, ask her out," Duff said.

"I can't, me and Rachel are trying to fix our relationship," Matt said, picking up the mug of coffee that Lacey had sat in front of him.

"Rachel huh...still with her?" Lia asked.

"Yes, well kind of. We're working on our problems, in fact we're going to see an Occupational Psychologist on Friday," Matt said.

"An Occupational what now?" Lia asked.

"Yeah, she thinks that my job has something to do with our relationship problems," Matt said.

"Really," Lia said, rolling her eyes.

"Man, I get the feeling that Rachel is not being faithful to you," Duff said.

"Why do you always say that?" Matt asked.

"No reason," Duff shrugged.

Back at FBI Headquarters

"Duff, Lia, Matt...guys we got problems," Taylor called, running toward them.

"What's that?" Matt asked.

"Some higher-up's from DC are coming to interview everyone. I think they're going to lay-off some of us. I really think I'm going to lose my job," Taylor said.

"I'm getting Deja VU," Matt said.

"I really think that," Taylor said.

"Yeah, and you really thought that a month ago too. Your not gonna get canned," Duff said.

back at sloans

"Excuse me, Emily. Can I talk to you?" Emily's boss called.

"What is it Mr. Rogers?" Emily asked.

"I want you to look at Lacey over there." Frank stopped and pointed at the tall brunette. "Now what's different between you and Lacey?"

"Look Mr. Rogers, I really don't understand what the problem is," Emily said, slightly frustrated.

"Well, the new dress code is in effect. I do believe that the dress code calls for, shirts to be cut down to the bottom of the chest. Sleeves to be ΒΌ or shorter, and skirts can't be below the knees," Frank said.

"Okay, and your problem is?" Emily asked.

"Well, Lacey went above and beyond the call of duty. Your just doing the minimum requirements, now if that's okay for you, then okay. But I thought that you might like to be like Lacey and go above and beyond what the minimum requires," Frank said.

"Look, if you wanted slutty waitresses, then you should have said that. Now if you want me to dress like that," Emily paused and pointed at Lacey. "Then that should have been the minimum, otherwise, this is how I'm dressing."

"Okay I feel that your not understanding what I'm saying," Frank said.

"Nope, I completely understand Mr. Rogers, and if you don't mind I have tables that need clearing," Emily said, before walking off.

Matt's Desk

Matt was writing up his Depositions on the day, which weren't bad since they hadn't had a call.

"Flannery, Johnson, Situation," Cheryl said, poking her head out from her office, before going back inside.

'Son of a bitch' He thought...It was going to be another long Monday.