"The weirdest thing happened the other morning… I woke up with tears in my eyes and one rolling down my cheek…and I knew I must have been dreaming of you."
He shuddered as he awoke from his light sleep; once again that same dream had pushed itself into his resting mind. He hated that dream for many reasons but he also longed for it to come back every night. It showed him what he could no longer see in his reality but it also made him cry. It is never good when one cries in one's sleep because it implies that one was having a bad dream,a nightmare. He was not sure if would be considered a nightmare. It was no more than just a teasing dream; it showed him what he wanted more than anything else in the entire universe.
George had not been the same since the day that he lost Fred. How could someone be the same if they had lost half of what they were, half of their heart, half of their mind, half of their soul? It was not possible. Not only did Fred take half of those three things with him, he also took George's humor. Not half of it, though, he stole it all away the second that he had left this world. But George did not want it back; he did not need it anymore, not now.
People tried to understand what he was going through, but how could they? How could they possibly wrap their mind around the complete emptiness that was inside him?
That was the thing, people did not believe that he was totally empty. They all said that at least he had a big family; it was not like he was alone. They were wrong, though. He loved his family but not one of them could ever fill the place that Fred had occupied in his heart. Not Ron, not Percy, not Bill, not Charlie, and not Ginny; they did not know George like Fred did. They never finished his sentences for him, they never knew what he was thinking before he even thought of it, they couldn't be his Forge.
It was hard for him to function everyday- to get up in the morning, to eat, to work, to sleep. He had never had to do any of those things by himself and he did not want to learn how but he knew he must. How Fred would have mocked him for acting like he was. But not even Fred knew how he was feeling; Fred never had to live without him. George knew, though, that his twin would have wanted him to keep living his life, their life. Unfortunately, just because he knew it did not mean that he was able to handle doing it. George did not want to live without Fred because without Fred, he wasn't really living at all.
Did he have any other options except to live without his other half? Suicide? Fred would kill him all over again if there was an afterlife and he committed suicide. He could not deny, though, that it had crossed his mind on the particularly rough days; days like their birthday, Halloween, and Christmas. If he killed himself his family would have to restart the grieving process all over again and he did not want that; he was not that selfish.
So until George could meet his twin again in the afterlife naturally, he would just have to make do with his dreams.
Thanks Mew for editing this!
