Since season 15 starts next Wednesday, I had to make this so I won't go crazy afterwards.
Welcome to the tutorial of how to survive the season 15 premiere. My name's Morgan and I will be your instructor today. This guide should help you in your time of (insert what you do here). The example name is Candace.
1. Spend the whole day (September 25) pep talking yourself something on the lines of:
"Olivia is the strongest person on SVU, if anyone can get through this, it's Olivia. Why am I even talking to myself, people are staring. Candace, you're so crazy! (Laughs) Candace I know I am."
Hey! If you talk to yourself, I'm not here to judge. Ever since the season 14 ended I started talking to myself, I kind of went of the deep end. I still have all my friends and they like me even more because I make them laugh and I get in trouble more.
2. ANYWAY, the second thing you need to do is about 30 minutes before the show starts. Gurrrrrrl, go get and take your meds.
"Candace we need to go take our ADHD pills, Anti-stress and anxiety medications, Lithium(for bipolar disorder), and let's just take this Viagra for…pleasure."
…ummmmmm. No comment? Let's keep treading, shall we? Yes, we shank!
3. Oh look it's ten minutes til the premiere! But oh wait, you need to prepare.
A. Wipe the make-up of your face- trust me you'll thank me later.
some tissues for your salty tears.
C. Pop you some popcorn- not to just eat but to muffle out your screams so you can hear better
D. Keep your phone handy- just in case you need mental support (friend that doesn't know your obsession with svu so they will actually pick up the damn phone)
E. Get yourself a good throwing pillow
*Candace watches the 2 hour premiere and doesn't follow step four*
"I can't do this anymore!"
Wait Candace what are you talking about?!
"Who said that?!"
Candace it's me! We're done the guide is finished!
"Thank you all for coming to my show
You've been great, but now I have to go.
Everyone had a super time I hope
Some songs tend to push the envelope"
Candace your scaring me!
"These are things that I have said,
but there are voices in my head,
and if you could here them, you'd be dead"
Wait that's not the song! WOAH CANDACE PUT DOWN THE GU-
~Candace Doe~
September 20, 2013 6:52 a.m- September 20, 2013 7:23 a.m
~Loving example dummy~
In all seriousness, suicide, bipolar disorder, ADHD, and depression isn't funny. I'm just some stupid teenager wanting to do something other than my homework. Whatever, bye.
