This I'll finish.
No, seriously. I have the rest of the story. I'll finish this'un. Like, srsly.
This is PachuMari, but to all the MariAri fans [especially those who read my last fanfic, which was MariAri...] I hate to seem all 'disloyal betrayer of our fandom!' and such and such, but I enjoy Marisa's whole d*mn harem as a subject, sincerely. Maybe after this, I'll torture Nitori.
Introduction
Loading Screen: Yukari Yakumo
One day in April, I came back into my study after a tea break which, despite its briefness, took a good amount of coaxing by my good friend Remilia to persuade me to attend, only to see none other than Yukari Yakumo, the youkai of boundaries, perusing my books-rather, arranging them.
In fact, she was replacing them. Pulling precious memorabilia concerning the process of cellular respiration and how it relates to photosynthesis in a beautiful food cycle, treating painful bowel movements in kappa, and autobiographies written by the greatest tree pruners of Gensokyo's time... Hurtfully, my treasures were tossed aside unceremoniously. Koakuma, my assistant, shuffled in from the hall behind me, wide-eyed. She too was dead-silent, although not out of shock like I, but because she tended to act that way when others were around.
She, the busty, tall, blonde, gorgeous youkai of the border, was stuffing the second to last bookshelf in the third column with her own books, taken out of a shockingly large sack behind her. Ran assisted, putting books in the higher shelves where I was sure Yukari was too lazy to reach for.
"E-excuse me! What do you think you're doing in my study?"
"What's your study doing with me in it?" She said, nonchalantly. She didn't even look up.
I hadn't had my iron pills today. Dearest Sakuya had originally gone through all the trouble to go to Eientei and... persuade... Eirin for them, to help with my anemia.
I really wasn't in the mood for a fight, nor would I be able to hold my own too well in one, but it was what Yukari was asking for.
Even more to my horror, Chen came tearing past me as I stomped angrily toward her master, [technically her master's master...] and she certainly wasn't treating the book on female Moon Rabbit pregnancies in her mouth with the respect is deserved, cartwheeling around.
"Nyaaaaaaaaaaaaan~!"
"Cheeennnnn!" Ran scolded. Koakuma giggled, and scuttled from my side to see the shikigami.
"Yakumo-san, what are these books?" I demanded, picking one out of her sack, right and ready to whack her with it until she left.
"I'm getting rid of junk. Rinnosuke couldn't sell these, and I certainly have no use for them. They've been building up, and where else am I supposed to put them? Stuff them into the little oni?" She grinned, as if she would actually prefer that. "So here, you can use them to waste more of your useless time. You're the one reading the scraps of the ancients," she scoffed. She was only quoting Zhuangzi, as in the ancient Chinese Taoist text Zhuangzhi. Amateur.
Offended, I still couldn't help but crack open one of the books. I thought it'd be something on Confucius or whatever, but instead...
"W-what is this? M-meija Riigu Beisubarru?" I asked, staring at a picture of some athletic, strong male holding a large metal stick and a white sphere. How had she, anyway, put pictures in these... books? How incredibly... surreal!
Yukari chuckled at me. "Major League Baseball. This one is HIV AIDS, this one about playing poker, and this one about how computer chips work." I dodged Chen, who was cartwheeling around doing absolutely nothing beneficial to anyone. This was strange, being that her master lectures everyone else on how to spend their time wisely after every d*mn battle.
'The petty person dwells retired and commits misdeeds, little shut-in."
Says the girl who sleeps all day and leaves her shikigami to do the work. Quoting Confucius, my butt, the mediocre little smartas-
I mean, smart... as...
Smart...
As Cirno.
[I am attempting to cut back on my foul language.]
I gritted my teeth and shook my finger. "Where are these from? What are these, you gap hag?"
"From the other side of the border. The humans from the so-called, 'normal world.' These have been building up with me for a while for... Reasons." She grinned again, that signature, 'I-know-things-you-don't-and-think-it's-hilarious' sort of grin she had.
I held up a book with a white rabbit and a blonde girl on the cover. She sort of looked like... Margatroid. Except prettier. Much prettier than Margatroid.
"That's Alice in Wonderland. Pure idiot, that girl. Ooh, you know what this one is?" She paused while taking a book out to show me, 'Agatha Christie' written in large letters. Ran glanced over at us, disinterestedly. "It's, And Then There Were None. I started skimming and I said, 'Oh, U. N. Owen was really, her?'" she laughed as if it were the greatest joke ever.
I didn't get it.
"Look, I'm okay with getting new books and all..." [It had somewhat hurt for me to show her how I felt somewhat joyful... ] "But... first of all, tell your little shikigami to stop treating my old books that way...! M-mukyuu!"
I was feeling a bit dizzy, as is what happens when I don't get my iron. Especially in moments of stress. Hm, maybe if I'd felt a bit better that day, maybe I would have given Yukari the beating she deserved and tossed her, her animalistic slaves, and those books out right there and then. Maybe if I weren't such a book girl, I would have had them burnt, pages, binding, and all, via explosive spell cards. Maybe if I weren't stupid, maybe if I'd known, perhaps none of what happened would have happened...
Laughable.
Just laughable, looking back at it all.
Koakuma, the dear she was, took Chen's hand and stopped her cartwheeling, pulling out a specific book to distract the nekomata with. Boy, did those two shikigami shut-up quick...
I sighed. "Can't you... Hurry up and go? Are these things even safe?"
I'll admit. I, that is, Patchouli Knowledge the hikikomori, was always a little fearful of going outside in general. But... outside outside?
An outside world... outside of the sufficiently frightening outside world?
I hoped I didn't sound like a scared little child in front of the busty Yukari, that frilled white crinoline under her tight violet dress, stretching over her bust like plastic wrap, free of a single bit of grime despite the fact she spent actual time outside, not to mention further than that...
Sure enough, though, she laughed outwardly at me. "Oh, I'm sorry if you get a speck of dust that doesn't agree with you, wittle shut-in girl. I'm surprised you don't assume I have some ulterior motive with this like everyone else might. You're dumber than most in this world." I humiliatingly failed at containing my surprise, my purple eyes revealing everything her violet ones looked for.
"What do you mean by that? Do you have an ulterior motive?" I demanded. Iron pills or not, this girl was aggravating me, and the book in my hands was one more rude remark away from spitting fire out of its binding.
"Aha! Just let me know if your burglarising little lover finds these new additions interesting or not," she grinned.
I'm ashamed that I hesitated with my answer, and I'm sure my droopy eyes widened on my red face at such a remark.
[To be fair, I did happen to be distracted, as at that moment I noticed that Koakuma was showing Chen and Ran... what you might call hentai.
...Explicit hentai.
Scares me that she knew where exactly to find the book...]
"Oh-oh just, get out of here! You're not even ordering them correctly! I'll do it myself!" I said, turning my indignant attention back to their mistress. I grasped angrily at ways to change the subject before she said something that really got me stressed out, like...
"Oh, loooook~ This one you've probably heard of. Rapunzel. Locked up in her tower, her love comes to visit her mounted on her broom, the beautiful Marisa Ki-"
"OUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT!"
The books that weren't singed in the resulting explosion I later set to work arranging, properly and with great amounts of respect.
Ne? Neeeeeee?
Forgive my strange attempts at humor. I'm mediocre like that.
