Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or DHT's Listen to your Heart
Listen to your Heart
I know there's something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
A little piece of heaven turns too dark
I could hear footsteps running behind me as I stormed down the cobblestone drive. I refused to turn around, for fear that it was him. I'm was so fucking tired of his games and his underhandedness. I'd put up with him for three years and listened to him lie to me and tell me he loved me, but that was all it was. A lie.
"Harry!"
I took another two steps, completely intent on blatantly ignoring him. That is, until I realized it wasn't his voice. I turned around to see Hermione jogging down the path toward me. She caught up with me and grabbed my hand. "Where are you going?"
"Where does it look like I'm going?"
When she didn't answer, I answered for her. "As far away from that asshole as I can get."
I tried to pull my hand from hers but she only tightened her grip. "Would you just wait? I know you're angry. You have every right to be. But if you could see how happy you are when you're with him, you'd see that you can't give up so easily."
I shook my head. "I've given up so much for him. You know. And now this? It's too much. It's time we moved on. I'm tired of wasting my time waiting for him to come around."
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye
"Is that really how you feel?" she asked.
That made me stop. Of course that's how I felt. How would you feel if you're lover of 3 years had done what he'd done to me? You'd leave him high and dry too.
After a year of being closet lovers, it was taking too much of a toll. Always having to sneak out of the dormitory once the other had gone to sleep, avoiding the professors (which my map helped immensely), only having stolen moments…it wore me down. And then, one night as we lay next to each other in the Room of Requirement, I broached the subject of coming out.
"I wish we could do this more often."
"Hmmm?" he asked. "You know we can't."
I sat up. "What do you mean? Voldemort," I watched my lover cringe, "oh come off it, he's gone. He's dead. I defeated Voldemort and you're telling me we can't go public?" Since we'd both lost our 7th year fighting Voldemort, McGonagall had admitted my whole year back to finish out our schooling.
"I just, I think it would be better if we waited until we're out of Hogwarts before we come out."
Could he really think we couldn't handle a few unhappy and rioting teenagers? Or was it something else? "Are you ashamed of me?"
I remember he looked so appalled that I automatically had wanted to take back what I'd said. "Of course not. I love you."
I was shocked. That was the first time he'd said the word 'love' and my heart had swelled.
But regardless of that, he'd talked me into dealing with not telling anyone and staying in the closet, quite literally. And now, none of what he'd said then mattered. Because it had all been a lie.
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what it seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
"C'mon, Harry," Hermione said. "Let's go back."
I pulled my hand out of hers as she tried to pull me back to the house. "No. This is unacceptable, Hermione. Don't you get it? He told me that he loved me. That he would stand by me no matter what. You saw what happened in there! Yet again, he's showing me that he cares more about himself than he does about us. I'm not even asking him to put me first. I'm asking him to put us first and he's yet again pushed the concept of us away in order to make his life easier!"
I could feel tears starting to burn at the corners of my eyes. I looked back at the house all lit up with hundreds of people partying inside and having a good time. The yellow lights blurred at the edges from my tears and my anger welled in my stomach. I looked down at the trunk at my feet, filled with my clothes and everything else that had been mine in that relationship.
Before I could stop her, Hermione knelt by my trunk and opened it. Right on top was a picture of me and him. We were holding onto each other smiling like idiots as he planted a quick kiss on my cheek. I looked away, determined not to look at such a revolting picture that was full of his lies. "Put that away."
"No," Hermione answered. She shoved the picture again under my eyes. "Is your fight worth losing this?"
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye
I was losing my resolve to leave. Though the open road ahead looked so inviting, I really wanted to go to back to the house. But I couldn't. If he couldn't come to terms with our relationship, than I couldn't be in a relationship with him. "Hermione, please, just let me leave. I know, when I told you we were together, I told you that we were perfect for each other and—"
"And you still are," she interrupted me. "Harry, do you remember my reaction to the news when you told me?"
Did I remember? I thought about it for a minute unnecessarily. I couldn't really forget. "Of course. You took it significantly better than Ron."
A smile graced Hermione's face. "That's true. But I wouldn't have accepted you and him unless I had seen how happy you were and how truly perfect you were for both of you."
I sighed. I could still picture Ron, redder in the face than his hair, sputtering nonsense as he tried to process what I'd just told him. It was a big enough shock for him to find out that Ginny and I had broken up months ago that he couldn't really process anything past that. When he found out that I was seeing my rival, I was damn near surprised that he's head hadn't exploded from all the extra work. Still, he wouldn't talk to me for a week after I told him, something about lying to him or whatever. He'd come around in the end.
And there are voices
That want to be heard
So much to mention
But you can't find the words
The scent of magic
The beauty that's been
When love was wilder than the wind
However, before I had much time to brood on the subject, I saw the front door open and a silhouette I knew all to well step out into the night. I didn't want to see him. Not now. Not when my drive to leave had been weakened so severely with Hermione challenging my decision. If I saw him now, if I let him open his mouth, I knew I wouldn't leave.
I tried to wrench my hand out of Hermione's, but for some reason, I couldn't. "What did you do?"
"It's really only a simple charm. But you can't break free of my grip, no matter how hard to try."
She was smiling that impish smile that always meant she'd done something terribly sneaky and terribly smart. Usually, that was a good thing. Right now, I cursed her. "Let me go."
"Harry!"
I winced as I heard his voice. I could see him running down the drive and I wrenched my arm up and down and from side to side, trying to break the charm. It was too strong. I couldn't get free.
"Please, Hermione," I begged. "Please, if you're truly my friend, you'll let me go."
"It's because I'm your friend that I'm not letting you go."
It was too late anyway, because there he was, slowing down in order to compose himself before he reached us. I was glad to see pain flicker across his gray eyes when he saw the trunk at my feet. Vaguely, I heard the door to the house open again and I looked up. Everyone from the party seemed to be pouring out of the door in an effort to follow their host since he'd left the party inside.
"What do you want?" I snapped, again trying in vain to pull free of Hermione's spell.
He had the grace to look abashed. "I want you to hear me out."
I shook my head, not even knowing where to start as my anger clouded my ability to speak. Finally, I answered, "You have had 3 years to speak and be truthful, but all you ever told me were lies. So you'll excuse me if I'm tired of being lied to and don't really give a damn about listening to any more of your lies."
"Harry—"
"Potter!" I yelled. "Potter! That's how you introduced me! Not as your boyfriend, not as your lover! Hell! I'd have even settled for friend! But no, Malfoy! You go and introduce me as Potter!" Tears started to burn at my eyes again and I wanted dearly to punch him. "We've been lovers for 3 bloody years, Malfoy and I'm still Potter? Is that all I'll ever be? Someone you can just use and then discard like we have no feelings for each other? Well, guess what, Malfoy, I love you. I bloody love you and I can't take this anymore. I asked you to come out with me. You said after we graduated Hogwarts. We graduated Hogwarts a year ago, this day! And still, I'm nothing more than POTTER!"
I was rambling and I hardly knew if it made sense, or even if he could understand it. "Harry, love, if you'll just listen for a moment—"
"No! I'm tired of listening!" Though the mob of people was still a fair distance away, I was sure they could hear me. "I'm tired of your lies!"
I watched as he nodded. "I know. And that's why I've decided to be truthful. You see, Harry, this party, though you think it's a one year reunion, it's not."
By now the group of people had almost reached us and were in comfortable hearing distance. "Then what is it?" I hissed.
Without answering me, I watched as he turned around to face the crowd. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make. Some of you, those who are closest to Harry, may already know this, but many of you don't. You see, since the beginning of the year when Voldemort was killed, or three years ago, Harry and I have been in a very passionate relationship. However, Harry was the only one brave enough and strong enough to tell his friends about us. I was too afraid. I didn't want to cause him more trouble than he already had to deal with, but at the same time, it would be a lie to say that I hadn't kept our secret to myself in order to make my life easier. If no one knew, then I could still see my old friends and I could still be revered as one of the last pure-blooded wizards.
A little while ago, though, that changed. Suddenly, I wanted the whole world to know about us. And so," he turned around to face me and knelt, "I know I've screwed up in the past, but I want our future to be as bright as I know it can be. You, Harry, have made my life worth living for."
I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this really the same man whom I had just walked out on? Quickly scanning the crowd, it didn't look like anyone was using the Imperius curse on him. Then, as I looked back down at the man kneeling before me, I noticed he had pulled out a little box.
"I want everyone to know, that by these tokens, I have now laid claim to the only person I have ever loved." He opened the box and two golden bands rested inside. Gently, he picked one up. "Will you, Harry, promise to marry me?"
Listen to your heart
When he's calling for you
Listen to your heart
There's nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going
And I don't know why
But listen to your heart
Before you tell him goodbye
I couldn't breathe. I had never dreamed about this happening. And yet, could I accept him? I thought back to all the memories Hermione had brought up and I nodded, unable to speak. He flashed me his oh-so-sexy grin and slipped the one ring on my left ring finger. Then he looked back up at me.
I didn't need to ask as I removed the second ring from the box and took Draco's left hand in my own. Silently, I slipped the ring onto his ring finger and before I knew it, I was pinned to the ground under him as he kissed me so deeply I thought he was trying to reach my soul.
As he pulled back, I realized that none of them looked even the slightest bit surprised. "Why aren't they surprised?" I asked.
He smiled. "I can't believe you actually believed that I hadn't told anyone about us. Especially after what I found out three weeks ago, I wouldn't have been able to keep it to myself even if I had wanted to. Besides, if you'd only let me tell the press, I'd gladly place my claim over your ass. I want the world to know that I have the sexiest, most handsome, amazing, gorgeous, talented, hard-headed, loyal lover all to myself. But no, you don't want that kind of media attention."
"But then, why—" Now I was seriously confused.
"Because I had to know what all you resented about me."
"What?"
Draco shrugged and I was terribly confused. "I knew you didn't think that I'd told anyone about us. But I didn't know if it was a big deal or not. And then, if it was a big deal, I didn't want to propose to you and then have you reject me, because Malfoys are never rejected. And I figured, just telling you, you'd never believe me. But if I proposed to you in front of everyone, after pissing you off about not telling anyone, you'd know that I wasn't lying and that you really do mean the world to me."
I didn't remember how to breathe.
Listen to your heart
Mm mm mmmm
I don't know where your going
And I don't know why
But listen to you heart
Before you tell him goodbye
As I laid in bed next to Draco, I couldn't take my eyes off the golden band around my ring finger. He had proposed to me and we were going to get married. Then I remembered. What had he found out three weeks ago?
"Dray?"
"Hmm?"
"What did you find out three weeks ago?"
"Oh. Well, you see, I'm pregnant."
I couldn't believe it! I launched myself at him and kissed him with as much passion as I could. A baby? I couldn't believe it! We were going to have a baby! Our lives would change drastically, but it would be worth it. If I had walked out on him tonight, I would never have forgiven myself. I would have to write Hermione a thank you letter for stopping me from making the biggest mistake of my life. I laid a hand on Draco's stomach imagining what the little baby looked like.
Hermione was right. All I had to do was listen to my heart.
A/N: I wrote this all in one day and finished it at 1:30 this morning. I hope you all like it. R&R please! Thanks! Happy New Year!
