A/N: This is the standalone part of this series. The other two wishes will be combined and posted shortly.
This is grc73's wish as requested:
Characters: Booth & Brennan, Hodgela (OK, that's technically 4 ;)
Elements to include: A double date or family Christmas with them all
Please exclude: Sweets, Daisy, any partner swapping (ugh) Max
rating - NC17.
Time frame: Early Season 11.
This chapter is rated T for suggestive comments and occasional salty language. For older folks who remember Revenge of the Nerds...hope you like the shout out. grc...I hope I got your wishes off to a great start.
In his office, Booth was singing softly with Foreigner on the radio behind him as he worked at his desk. "Well, I'm hot blooded, check it and see…I got a fever of a hundred and three…Come on baby, do you do more than dance…I'm hot blooded, I'm hot blooded."
The song ended as he finished auditing one of Agent Perotta's cases before putting it in his completed pile. Normally he grumbled about the administrative crap that came with his job as Special Agent in Charge, but Foreigner always made things better.
Also, tonight was date night with Bones….and Hodgins and Angela.
Over the last five years, he looked forward to their weekly date with the other couple. Tonight it was their turns to host with the other couple coming over with Bones making her world famous 'whore sauce' and Angela made her killer apple pie for dessert. Afterwards it was going to be a Trivial Pursuit 'Battle of the Sexes' as their two kids and Michael Vincent spent the night with Wendell at the Hodgins-Montenegro home.
Looking at his half depleted To Do box, he was grateful to have Aubrey as his right hand man. For the last few months, he had trained the junior agent in case file evaluations, monthly warrant audits, and other bureaucratic bullshit he hated. There was stuff that could only be done by him, but by being able to share the load, he had been able to go home on time more often than not. He hated that he couldn't get the younger man the official title of Assistant Special Agent in Charge since he was only a Senior Special Agent. However, he got him a deserved pay grade increase as well as put in papers to promote him to Supervisory Special Agent last month.
He was thankful to have been slowly working on the next quarter budget for Homicide the last five days. With that to complete as well as payroll and the remaining case audits, he had just enough time to make it back to the house for tonight. He considered asking Aubrey to work on the payroll for him but he did it last week as a favor to him and Booth didn't want to take advantage of the younger agent.
His thoughts were interrupted by the ringing of his phone. When he saw Hacker's name on the caller ID, he groaned before picking it up. "Booth…hello Sir, how many I help you?" Booth answered with a pained smile. "The Carter case? I see…what questions can I help you with?"
The agent rolled his eyes as he listened. "Agent Aubrey needed to travel to North Carolina to question a suspect and did not get done until 9:30 PM. There wasn't a flight back until the next morning…it was two hours to the Raleigh field office, Sir and it didn't seem fair to page someone to sign the paperwork for him to drive their vehicle back to DC. For his safety, I approved and reimbursed him the cost of his hotel room."
Booth closed his eyes as he listened to his superior before looking at the clock. It was almost 5:00 PM and the other couple would be over by 7:30. "More questions? Go ahead…a meeting? Now?...Well, I had plans with my wife…she's doing well…of course she'll understand…be right there."
The agent hung up the phone. "Motherfucker." He muttered before grabbing his phone and sending a message.
Hacker called mtg on exp reports b4 I could finish budget & payroll. DK when I'll b home. Will call ASAP. Sorry Bones.
Walking to his filing cabinet, he pulled the file labeled OCTOBER EXPENDITURE REPORTS out and shut the drawer. Stopping in the break room, he took his time by starting a new pot of coffee. If Hacker was screwing with his plans, he could wait, too.
Brennan got her husband's message and sighed. She knew it wasn't his fault, but it was still disappointing. Putting her phone down, she put her focus back on examining a rib from the remains in front of her.
Across from her, Jessica Warren was deafened by the silence in the room. Looking up she saw her mentor's face and knew whatever the text message said was not good. As she was about to ask Brennan, Angela came into the room.
"Bren, Hodgins and I are going to grab the kids from daycare, go home, get changed before waiting for Wendell to arrive, and get the apple pie so we can meet you back at your place for dinner. I figure it can bake while we eat."
"Actually Angela, was called to a meeting with Andrew Hacker on some expenditure reports tonight. Before he can come home he still has to finish the projected budget for his division to send by midnight, set up payroll for Monday, and complete his examination of his agents' case files. He doesn't know when he can come home."
"That asshat." Angela said. "You know Hacker only did that so Booth couldn't make date night tonight."
"Angela…" Brennan said. "That's ridiculous."
"Is it? Sweetie, he has no sense of respect." Angela said before holding up her hand and ticking off items. "First, he rudely joined us without asking when you, Jessica, and I were having lunch at the diner. Second, he flirted with all three of us. Really gross. Then, he lit up like a Christmas tree when you mentioned our date night while asking me what I was bringing for dessert."
Jessica snickered. "Aubrey calls him 'Doofus Douchebag' or DD for short."
"Ms. Warren, I think 'Doofus Douchebag' is a bit mean spirited a term—"
"No, it's a polite term for him, Bren." Angela said. "Me personally, I like Vindictive, Ignorant Prick, but that's just me."
Jessica snickered again. "He's a VIP."
"Yeah, I guess he is, Jessica." Angela said as the two shared a laugh.
The anthropologist inhaled as she remembered their lunch before interrupting the women's moment. "You think he would really use work to make Booth stay at the FBI tonight? It seems a bit childish."
"Yes." Angela said. "Because he wants himself a Brennan sundae with a little Jessica cherry on top."
"Ewwww." Jessica said. "He's way too old and creepy."
Angela turned to the intern and smiled. "We know Honey. Besides everyone knows Aubrey is your boyfriend."
The squintern turned red and looked away. "No he's not. We're just friends…"
"Whatever Jessica." Angela said before turning back to her friend. "Bren, he can't get away with this."
"Well, what do you suggest?" Brennan asked.
"Well…first we need some assistance and I know just the person." The artist said before getting out her phone and sending a text message.
Aubrey walked into the break room with a wrapped sandwich and saw Booth's face as he poured some coffee. "So when are you meeting up with Doofus Douchebag?"
"Keep it down, Aubrey." Booth admonished.
"You call him that, too." The other agent said in a quieter voice.
"Okay, you got me there." Booth said. "Wait, how the hell did you know about the meeting, Aubrey?"
The junior agent walked in and put his sandwich down. "I can see you grinding your teeth. Besides, he always calls you for these stupid meetings either early in the morning or at the end of day every time he covers for Stark."
Booth finishing pouring his coffee before putting the carafe back. "This time it's about your expenses during the Carter case and all of October."
"What the…I was in major BFE. What was I supposed to do…drive to Raleigh, wake up someone at their field office to sign out my loaner vehicle to take back to DC or rent one and then drive home? If I was lucky enough to stay awake, I wouldn't have got home until like 5:00 in the morning."
Booth shook his head. "I know, Aubrey. I'll take care of it. It's why I make the big bucks."
Aubrey made a realization. "Do you think you can keep your date night tonight?"
The senior agent walked out the doorway and peeked around. Satisfied, he popped back in. "Probably not unless DD runs out of hot air. When I get done with that, I still have to finish this stupid budget shit along with payroll and the last of the few case audits."
Before the other agent could say anything, Booth picked up his folder. "At least you get to go home tonight. Now, if you'll excuse me, Aubrey I have to go lose at least an hour of my time in my life I'll never get back."
The younger agent walked his supervisor storm out. After waiting ten seconds, Aubrey got his phone out and sent a message.
Booth PO'd. Will grab what I can from desk 2 catch him up.
Putting money in the chip machine, he made his selection. When the item he chose came down the chute, he grabbed them and laid the entire bag on the inside of his sandwich for his before dinner snack. After buying a Coke as well, he took his stuff and headed out.
Booth would have his date night tonight.
Ninety minutes later, Booth left the office and silently seethed. The meeting was nothing more than a nip pick and a fishing expedition. Because of Hacker, he had to miss date night.
He took the stairs down to the fourth floor to try and burn off his annoyance, but it didn't help. Opening the doors, he walked past the break room, but stopped when he saw Aubrey and the redheaded squintern his junior agent crushed on eating together. As he observed Jessica gesture as if telling a story, the lanky man laughed. When she turned away to take a bite, Booth saw the besotted look his friend had. Ten seconds later, he saw a similar look on the intern when Aubrey sampled his dinner.
'They've both got it bad. Just friends my ass.'
Walking back into his office, he saw that most of the folders that were on his desk were now gone. Looking around, he didn't see them anywhere. Taking a breath, he left his office for the break room. When he got closer, he could hear the two conversing.
"So you want to hit the gelato shop and take a walk?"
"Sounds good. What time do you have to be back here?"
"About 9 or 9:30."
"If there's time to kill, we can hang out at your apartment until you have to come back. I'll drive you here so you can leave your SUV."
Booth walked in as Aubrey was about to answer. "Aubrey, did you take the payroll and case audits from my desk?"
"I did and I'm going to finish them up in a bit after I have dinner and hang out with Jessica." The junior agent replied.
"Hi Agent Booth." The intern said.
"Hi Jessica." Booth said before he smelled what they were eating. "Is that Bones' whore sauce?"
Aubrey snickered before Jessica smacked him on the arm. "Is it really still that funny?"
"Uh yeah."
"You're just like a little kid." The anthropologist said as she sent a text message.
"How did you get my wife's pasta sauce? Better yet, when did she cook for you?"
All three then heard a buzz that Booth felt in his pocket. "That should explain everything Agent Booth." Jessica said.
The senior agent took out his phone and smiled. "Cool…excuse me you two…I have company waiting."
Booth left the break room and walked quickly across the bullpen. As he got closer, he saw his wife, Angela, and Hodgins in the conference room. On the table was a bottle of Chianti along with two slow cookers and a stack of red Solo cups. Opening the door, he was assailed by wonderful smells.
"Bones what's going on? Wow, it smells good in here."
Brennan grabbed the remaining plate and proceeded to put pasta, sauce, and vegetables on it. "It's dinner, Booth. Since you couldn't make it home for date night, we decided to bring date night to you."
"You guys didn't have to do that."
Brennan exhaled. "Yes we did, Booth. I think I may be partly to blame for why you're working late night."
"What?"
"When our wives and Jessica had lunch together today, they ran into Hacker. Doctor B mentioned we were getting together tonight without thinking about it. Lo and behold a few hours later, you get called to a meeting that keeps you away." Hodgins said.
"I wasn't going to let that worm mess up our plans, so I sent a message to Aubrey asking for his help." Angela said. "He grabbed that other stuff and worked on it while you were in your meeting. He also offered to come back tonight to help you get the budget stuff and payroll thing done by midnight so you could have dinner and fun with us."
"That little shit." Booth chuckled as he remembered Aubrey earlier in the break room. "He usually has the worst poker face."
Brennan handed her husband a cup of Chianti. "Since Aubrey was so nice to take some work off your hands, I asked Ms. Warren to cook the pasta and apple pie at her apartment and bring them here so she could dine with him. I went home and got the Crock Pots with the sauce and vegetables and brought them here. Angela brought the plates and silverware while Hodgins got the bottle of Chianti, paper cups—"
"And this my friend." Hodgins said with glee as he held up Trivial Pursuit before looking up at the clock. "We have about 2 hours of date night before Aubrey returns, Booth. What do you say?"
"I say hell yes." Booth said before sitting down and digging in.
At 9:15 Hacker made a stop on the 4th floor before leaving for the evening. He was proud of himself for his little plan to ruin date night for Agent Booth and Temperance. He did feel bad for ruining the plans of Doctor Hodgins and his wife, but it had to be done.
The elevator stopped and he walked off, strolling down the hall with confidence. The Homicide Division's budget for the next fiscal quarter was not in his email, so Agent Booth was still toiling away in his office.
He couldn't wait to see it.
As he turned the corner and into the bullpen he saw the light on but no Agent Booth in his office. Then he heard it.
"Gotcha Bones!"
"That's not a fair question, Booth."
Irritated, he walked towards the conference room, hearing the conversation from the four people in the room.
"Yes it is, Bones. No pink pie for you."
Angela heard her husband crack up. "Hodgins, what's so funny?"
The entomologist lifted his head up. "Pink pie…while not the exact same, it makes me think of Booger from Revenge of the Nerds."
Brennan watched in confusion as her husband laid his head down and shook in laughter as Hodgins cracked up again. "I don't know what that means."
"It means our husbands are remembering a thirty year plus old film involving naked sorority girls." Angela said before taking a drink of her wine. "They need to grow up."
"Booth, what is so hilarious?" Brennan asked.
"Yes, I'm curious, too." Hacker said as he entered the room and looked around. "Looks like there's a…party going on."
"Well, Booth was detained here at work so we decided to have Date Night here so he could have dinner and unwind for a bit." Brennan said.
"Well, that was a very nice to do Temperance. However, the payroll needs to be completed tonight to transmit Monday morning and I still haven't received Homicide's budget for the next quarter to forward to Director Stark."
"We'll take care of everything, Director."
Everyone looked to see Aubrey standing behind Hacker wearing jeans, t-shirt, and a Syracuse hoodie. The senior FBI official gave a critical eye to the younger agent. "Agent Aubrey, what brings you back here wearing such…casual clothing?"
"Well, I'm here to finish some paperwork I had from earlier before I help Agent Booth with the payroll and upcoming budget. I didn't think he would care that I wore street clothes, but I will go change if wants." He replied before looking at Booth.
"It's all good, Aubrey. Thanks for coming back."
"No problem." Aubrey said before turning to Brennan and Angela. "Thank you for dinner by the way, Doctor B. Jessica and I enjoyed it very much. Angela, the pie was AWESOME."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." The artist responded.
"You're very welcome, Aubrey." Brennan said with a smile. "I have some leftovers for you as well."
"Cool!" Aubrey said before turning to his boss. "Booth, I'll be in my office finishing up that stuff. Let me know when you're ready."
"I will Aubrey. Thanks." Booth said.
When the younger agent disappeared, Hacker walked closer and noted the remaining food. "Temperance that smells wonderful. What is that?"
"Puttanesca sauce with whole wheat linguine and California blend vegetables as a side dish."
"It looks like there's enough for three people. May I have some?"
Brennan stiffened her spine. "No, as already stipulated ten seconds ago, the leftovers are already for someone else."
Hacker leaned back in surprise. "Seriously? I can't have a little bit? I don't think Agent Aubrey will miss it."
"Oh yes he will." Hodgins said to himself.
"The leftovers are for Aubrey as a thank you for coming back to help my husband work tonight, no thanks to you."
Hacker decided to charm the woman in front of him. "Temperance—"
"Actually, Mr. Hacker we would like to return to our date night if you don't mind." Angela said to Hodgins' snicker. "Enjoy your evening."
Upset his plans were thwarted, Hacker stiffened his spine before turning to Booth. "You have less than three hours to submit that fiscal quarter information, Agent Booth as well as the payroll. It would behoove you to wrap things up."
"I will, Sir. Aubrey has been adequately trained in payroll so all I will need to do is double check it and authorize it. We alternate the case audits each week so he stays proficient at it with me double checking his work. That won't take long and the budget stuff should take us no longer than an hour to an hour and a half. I'll just send it to Director Stark's email so he can go over it during the weekend."
"You need to send it to me, Agent Booth. Remember, I'm acting head of this division until Monday."
"Actually Andrew, Director Stark sent an email to Booth asking him to do it that way an hour ago. He's leaving on a 6 AM flight tomorrow and he wants to read it while he's traveling. He said as long as it's in his mailbox by then, its fine if it goes past midnight."
"I wasn't informed of that change."
"Booth, can I borrow your phone? Thank you." Brennan said before her husband could say anything. Finding the item in question, she showed to Hacker. "I think that's nice that Director Stark wants to make efficient use of his travel time and take some stress off you and Booth."
"Well…it sounds like everything is taken care of." Hacker said with a slightly annoyed tone. "Good night everyone."
"Good night." All four said at the same time as the man walked out of the room.
Aubrey was just walking out of the break room with a can of Coke when the director stormed by, not seeing him. Holding back a snicker at the other man's annoyance, he grabbed his phone and sent a message before walking back to his office.
Wow. DD is pissed.
Booth felt his phone buzz. Reading the message, he laughed. "Aubrey said Hacker stormed out of here and looked really pissed."
"Well, Andrew needs to find better uses of his time than interfere with our plans." Brennan said.
"Booth, it's your turn." Hodgins said.
"Oh yeah." The agent said before shaking and dropping his dice. "Six…yes…Sports and Leisure. Get this question right and we win, ladies."
"Booth, it's not nice to brag." Brennan said haughtily.
"Just like when you cheered, 'Who's the greatest forensic anthropologist in the world? Me of course.' when you got the green pie."
"Bren step back. We're not going to let him win this. Just because it's a sports question doesn't mean he'll know it." Angela said before picking a card.
"Very true, Angela." Brennan said.
Angela read the question and her face fell. "Shit…"
"What, Angela?" Brennan said before looking at the question. "Oh."
The guys perked up immediately. "Angie…ask the question so we can get our Sports and Leisure Pie." Hodgins said.
The artist grumbled before pressing forward. "What hockey player retired from the Hartford Whalers in 1980 after playing for 32 seasons in the NHL, setting a record?"
Booth sat and made a face. "Gosh…I don't know…hmmm…Gordie Howe, Baby!"
"Son of a bitch." Angela said.
"Twenty five seasons with the Red Wings and 7 with the Whalers. Booyah!"
"Give us our orange pie, Angie." Hodgins said.
"Really? The game is over now. There's no point." Brennan said.
"It's the principle, Bones." Booth said to his wife.
"No, Booth. You two just want to have your little pie ceremony." Brennan said as she pulled an orange piece out of the bag.
Hodgins grabbed his phone and searched before pressing a button. Suddenly, the beginning notes of Also sprach Zarathustra played. "Dum…dum…dum…da dum!" The men sang together with the music.
Angela and Brennan watched as they made a production of putting the orange pie in the game piece before waving it around. When done, Booth held it into the air.
"You guys are dorks." The artist said while shaking her head.
"Yeah, but we're dorks that won." Hodgins said.
With reluctance, Booth stood up. "I'm having fun, but I need to get back to work so Aubrey can go home, too."
"Tonight was a lot of fun, guys." Angela said.
"Yes it was." Brennan said.
"Next week, it's at our house. Think about what you want for dinner." Hodgins said.
"I'll walk you back to your office Booth." Brennan said.
The two walked out and down the hall towards a lighted office. "Aubrey, give me five minutes and I'll be ready."
"No problem." They heard come from an office. "Doctor B, is there any more pie?"
"No!" Booth said.
"Awwwww…."
The couple walked to Booth's doorway where they stood for a moment. "I had a lot of fun tonight, Bones. Not that I never enjoy Date Night, but it was really fun."
"You and Hodgins were enjoying yourselves." Brennan said.
"Hey, if it was you two that won, you two would have sang something like 'Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves' when you got the last pie and you know it."
"Very true." Brennan said. "I should go back and help them clean up the conference room before I give the rest of the food to Aubrey."
"How is he taking it home?"
"I brought a large container for him." Brennan said.
"He enjoyed his dinner Bones, especially with Jessica." Booth said. "He's crazy about her."
"Ms. Warren seems equally besotted." Brennan replied before giving her husband a kiss. "Now, I'll leave you to your work. If you get done in the next hour or two…you may have a surprise waiting for you."
The agent's ears perked up. "Is it a naughty surprise?" He whispered.
"Very naughty." Brennan replied before giving her husband a passionate kiss. "Bye, Booth."
"B-bye Bones." The agent said as he watched his wife walk away. He headed back near his junior agent's office. "Aubrey! Shake a leg! Come on! I want to get home at a decent time tonight."
