:::: i hereby disclaim bleach and linkin park
With hands held high into the sky so blue,
As the ocean opens up to swallow you.
Ichigo forced his feet to move forward along the sidewalk. His head was too heavy to lift up with his legs already weighing him down so much. He didn't know what to think. His mind was racing in circles. It was impossible to break out of it.
He was suppressing his feelings the best he could, but it wasn't helping much. He wanted to scream. He kept remembering what Shinji Hirako had said to him. It was one of those moments where someone violently throws the truth in your face and you have no choice but to accept it. The very thought of being consumed by that monster and not being with his friends and family any longer sickened him.
In my living room watching but I am not laughing
Cause when it gets tense I know what might happen
He loved his friends. He really did. They were what had kept him going. He could not think of what would happen if he were to turn against them because of his inabilities. Was it worse to not ever speak to them again or to have them die by his doing? He knew the answer and it hurt. It hurt more then he could bare to imagine. He walked up to his front door. He didn't want to deal with his family. He didn't want anyone talking to him. He opened the door to feel an unwanted elbow attack his face. It only worsened his mood. His family kept talking, but he couldn't process what they were saying.
He pulled himself up the stairs into his room only to find more noise. More painfully loud noise. He laid face down on his bed. Right now it was the only place he wanted to be. He could not do anything else if he wanted to. The noise kept coming. He could barely stand it any longer. Finally, it stopped. It was dead silent. In a way the talking and the commotion had been partially distracting him. Now the full weight of it all pushed him hard to rock bottom. Before it was only a thought. Now it was reality. He clenched the sheets in his fist. A tear rolled down his cheek. No one should have to deal with this. Ichigo was by himself in silence for another few minutes or so before his sister, Karin stepped into the room and called out his name. It was really startling. He sat up, making sure no evidence of his current condition was visible. Why he hid it, he was unsure. Come to think of it, why was he hiding it?
My dad he's got a lot of fear I know
But enough pride inside not to let that show
It was to protect them.
To let them know that he was strong and able to protect them. At that moment he saw how upset Karin looked. She was worried about him. How could it be that the only two choices ended with leaving his family in despair? There must be another choice. He would find it. He would protect his family and his friends and keep protecting them. No matter the cost. He would become stronger. For Karin. For his family. For his friends. He would fight 'til the death.
World is cold the bold men take action
Have to react or get blown into fractions
amen
::::: song: hands held high by linkin park
::::: inspiration: bleach chapters 189 and 190
