I'm in love with him. Plain and simple. It is such an easy thing to accept, yet such a difficult thing to live with. But there is nothing I can do to change the fact that I am helplessly and desperately in love with my best friend, so there's no benefit in denying it.

I watched his brown eyes stare at the screen with such intent. I loved how passionate he could get sometimes, even if it was just over a video game. I loved these moments where he was distracted enough with something that I could just watch him. I soaked in every second I could get of his face, oblivious to my gaze. He had a huge smile on his face because he had a 200 note streak. He was always better at Guitar Hero than I was, despite his constant persisting that we were equal in skill.

Stan has always tried to make me feel like I was equal to him. For example, once when we were 12 and playing football with the guys, everyone was clearly much more coordinated than I was. Even Cartman who couldn't run more than 10 feet without needing a breather could at least catch the ball when it came down to it.

Realizing I wasn't exactly made for the game, I just stayed out of everyone's way and let the guys who could actually play like Stan and Craig do their thing. All of a sudden I noticed a ball hurling at me and next thing I knew my eyeball was in excruciating pain. All I could hear was Craig screaming at me for being such a shitty catcher. I opened my eyes to see Stan punch him in the face. No one seemed to really be surprised, and I even found myself being surprisingly okay with it. Stan just walked over to me and took me to his house to put ice on my eye and assured me that it was Craig's throw that was the issue.

Of course I knew that wasn't true, but I did appreciate what Stan was trying to do. It's what he always tries to do: make me happy. However, lately he has been doing that a little too well. I can't help but be in complete bliss when I'm with him.

"Kyle?"

Fuck he's making eye contact with me. How long has he noticed I was staring at him? "Sorry dude I was just thinking about that Geometry test tomorrow," I lied.

He must have believed me because his facial expression relaxed and he just gave me a nod and smile. "God damn Kyle, you are such a nerd," he muttered under his breath. He held out the guitar, "Do you wanna give it a try?"

I looked up at the clock. 11:50 P.M. Fuck. Time always goes by so fast when I'm with him. "Sorry dude my mom will kill me if I'm not back by midnight. Maybe tomorrow?" I said that last part with a hint of sympathy.

"Alright you Goody Two-Shoes," he said with a chuckle, "I'll see you at the bus stop tomorrow".

"Goodnight Stan".

"Goodnight Ky".

I walk out of his room and shut the door behind me. Even if he seems okay with it I know he gets lonely here, and I hate leaving him alone. Even more, I hate what I leave him for. My overbearing mother. My father who listens to her every order. And my egotistical little brother. They're just all too much for me to handle sometimes.

I walk out of Stan's front door into the cool September air. The walk to my house is just a few feet away so I decide to stay out and feel the refreshing breeze for a little while longer. The street is almost pitch dark and I can barely see anything, and it's all so calming. After a few minutes I turn and walk to my front door. I sigh loudly and turn the knob.

Ike is watching a Presidential debate on CNN. He has always had such an interest in politics, which makes him feel as if he is smarter than everyone else. And truth be told, that little asshole is. He is like a child genius or something. And it isn't because of all the politics he watches, or that he always studies like I do. Being smart and a good student just comes naturally to him, and that isn't something he is afraid to show off to others.

I speed past him, trying desperately to avoid the inevitable speech about why one candidate is better than the other. I reach the stairs and silently try to make it to my room so I can just lay in my bed and go to sleep. As I reach for my doorknob I hear the noise I was dreading.

"Bubbie why are you home so late?" she said in pitch that was almost deafening.

"I lost track of time at Stan's house. Don't worry I already finished all of my homework," I managed to say in my most irritated voice, which my mother didn't catch on to.

"You better have. You should have been in bed hours ago. If this affects the grade you get on that Geometry test you have tomorrow, your father and I are going to have a talk about you going over to Stan's so often. I will not have that boy jeopardize your future young man," she blurted out in an excruciating string of sentences.

"Okay mom." I closed the door behind me and collapsed on the bed. I hated that I had to be so distant from her sometimes, but tonight I just couldn't deal with it. I had too many things on my mind, Stan being first on the list.

The feelings I have had for him have been there for a while, possibly even since I was 12. But it wasn't until a few months ago on my 15th birthday that I think I realized the extent of my feelings for him. My mom let me invite one friend to Pi Pi's Splashdown, and I of course chose Stan. I don't know what it was exactly, but something about the way I felt for him changed that day.

It could have been the way that he was comforting me on the way up to the highest waterslide in the park when I started getting nervous. Or maybe it was the way he kept dragging me underwater in the lazy river and I could feel his skin on mine. Whatever it was that triggered this is still unknown to me. All I do know is one thing. I'm in love with him. Plain and simple.