A Letter Home
By Diane Klepper
(Author's note: Tom writes a letter to his sisters. Set during Voyager's first month in the Delta Quadrant.)
Tom Paris sat up in bed. He wiped sweat from his forehead with his right hand and frowned. Damn it. Another nightmare. Tom stood up and walked into his bathroom and looked into the mirror. His Starfleet issued undershirt was wet from sweat. Tom's dark-blonde hair was tousled from sleep and his eyes were a little bloodshot. Tom hand brushed his hair and opened his sink to splash water on his face. He closed up his sink. Frowning he said. "Computer┘what time is it?"
The computer's unemotionally voice stated. "It is 0453"
Tom frowned. He knew he was too worked up to try to go to back to sleep and he knew if he took a sleeping pill he world probably sleep through his alarm and he didn't want to give Chakotay any excuse to put him on report. He left his bathroom and walked over to his replicator. Tom ordered a glass of warm milk and then he took the materialized cup and walked over to his couch. He put the cup down on his coffee table and sat down. Tom picked up the cup and took a sip and then he put the cup down. He then picked up a empty padd and said, "Start recording:
Dear Kathleen and Moira:
Hey┘I bet you never thought you would ever be hearing from me again. But I guess that is crazy thing to say since you will probably never read this letter. But I have over two hours until I have to get ready for my next duty shift and I am afraid to close my eyes. I can't face another nightmare so I decided to record this letter. Yeah┘I still get nightmares. Whenever I get one I can still picture Dad telling me that I was no longer a baby and that I should start acting like a man. The only problem with that statement is that he told me that when I was four. ┘Well I didn't start this letter to tell you about my nightmares. I have much better news than that.
I, Thomas Eugene Paris is a Junior Lieutenant on the Federation Starship Voyager. I guess Dad told you that his former protИgИ Katherine Janeway is now a Captain and she sprung me from prison to help her find a Maquis ship. I guess we were all reported "missing in action." Mom probably took my disappearance really hard. I wish you could tell her that I am okay┘I guess I wish you could tell Dad that I am okay too. I know Dad and I didn't always see eye to eye but I do love him and I know he loves me too even though he never said it.
Sometimes I was jealous of you two┘Dad always found it easier to show his affections to you girls then he ever did to me. Dad gave me an occasional ruffling of the hair or a pat on the back┘but he never gave me the hugs and kisses he gave you two. Maybe it was because you were girls┘or maybe it is because he knew neither of you wanted a career in Starfleet so he put all his dreams of another generation of Paris's in Starfleet on me. Kat┘Moira let me tell you a little secret. Even though I always complained that Dad didn't let me live my dream of joining the Naval Patrol┘I am glad he did convince me to join Starfleet┘I never realized how much I missed flying until I was at the penal colony┘
I guess flying was my first love┘I still remember the first time Dad took me out on that old shuttle. At first I has trouble keeping the shuttle straight┘but once I did the whole sky opened up and I felt so alive. Dad said I did a really good job of flying for my the first time on a real ship after I landed the shuttle Of course, that was before Dad was captured and tortured by the Cardaissians. We all know he wasn't the same after that. He became much stricter with me and he constantly complained that I had to work harder if I wanted to go to Starfleet Academy. You two were lucky┘You were both out of the house by then. Luckily you both let me hang out at your apartments when Dad got really mad at me. I don't think I would have survived my teenage years if it weren't you two.
I guess I should tell you two what happened. Kathryn Janeway sprang me from the Rehab Colony. I thought she would be just like Dad because she was his protИgИ. When she first talked to me I had such a chip on my shoulder ┘I was surprised she took me aboard Voyager. I guess she was desperate to find Chakotay's ship and even after I told her I didn't know any of their hiding points because I was with them only a short amount time┘she still took me aboard. Once I boarded the ship most of the Starfleet crew treated me like dirt. Both the first officer Commander Cavit and the ship's Doctor Fitzgerald made it known to me that neither of them wanted me on their ship. I did make one fast friend┘Harry Kim┘an Ensign right out of the Academy. He was the greenest person I ever met. I saved him from being swindled out of some of his credits from a Fergeni bartender right be4fore we boarded Voyager. The most shocking thing about Harry was that he still wanted to be my friend even after Cavit and Fitzgerald told him about my past. Harry told me that he picks his own friends and I will always be grateful that he picked me.
The ship ended up in the Delta Quadrant after an alien entity called the Caretaker brought us there. Janeway tried to make the Caretaker take us home┘but he was dying and trying to destroy the technology that brought us to the Delta Quadrant to save a race he was looking after called the Ocampa. Janeway couldn't let the Ocampa be killed so she destroyed the alien array, which left us trapped in the Delta Quadrant. Unfortunately during the trip through to the Delta Quadrant we lost some crewmember including the first officer, the doctor, the chief engineer and the chief pilot. Chakotay, the Captain of the Maquis ship also lost a number of people and he destroyed his ship helping us defeat the Ocampa's main enemy the Kazon. Captain Janeway and Chakotay agreed to merge the two crews and make it a Starfleet ship. And the best part of the story is that during the Kazon attack Captain Janeway told me to take over the helm. I almost fainted when she gave the order but I did take the helm and I did some of the best flying I did in my life even though I hadn't been in a pilot's chair for almost ten months.
After everything settled down, the Captain called me into her office and told me that she was going to give me a junior Lieutenant commission make me chief helmsman. I told her that this was the first time in my life that I didn't know what to say. She smiled at me and told me that I earned it and that she only wished my father knew. I told her that my father would know when we got home. After all we have been though a 70 -year trip doesn't sound that impossible. I know that if we did take 70 years to get home Dad would probably be gone┘but part of hope that we it home sooner.
I would have to say the last month has been the most interesting in my entire life. Captain Janeway has been great to work for. Unfortunately she has stuck me with the holographic doctor to learn how to a medic since our Doc can't leave sickbay. Moira maybe all the times you made me quiz you on medical terms when you were in medical school will finally pay off. The Doctor has a terrible bedside manner but I'm trying to loosen him up. I have also been able to make some more friends. Even tough some of the Starfleet and Maquis crewmembers treat me like dirt. I have been able to make some more friends. Chakatay and our Science officer Tuvok seem to appreciate how hard I work at my job and they have even complemented my flying on occasion. I have even befriended our two newest crewmembers from the Delta Quadrant. Neelix and Kes, Neelix is a really nice guy but unfortunately he is also the cook and he keeps serving this horrible thing called Leola root. I am going have to start saving up ration because I don't think I will be able to tolerate Leola root casserole for the next 70 years. Kes is an Oampan and she only lives for nine years. She is very instinctive and I sometimes feel like she can read my mind whenever she looks t me.
The person I find more interesting in the crew is our chief engineer BE'lanna Torres. She is half-klingon and half-human and I think she is the most beautiful woman I have ever seen. B'Elanna has a fiery temper and I find her very fascinating. Unfortunately I don't think she likes me. She only spends time with me if Harry is there. Even though she barely acknowledges me I think I am falling in love with her. I haven't felt like this about anyone since Odile died. I still think about her Charlie and Bruno. I wonder how they would feel about me getting another chance. I guess in a way I owe it to them not to mess up my second chance.
I know this sounds crazy but just writing to you makes me feel better. Kat┘Moira I miss you two so much. Knowing that you both will be waiting for me with open arms makes me want to come home. What I wouldn't give to here you call me little brother one more time. It's getting late┘I better start getting ready for work. Bye for now.
Love always, Tom
Tom said, "Computer end letter."
Tom put the padd back on his coffee table and took a sip of his warm milk, which was cold now. He stood up and walked to his replicator when he heard his doorbell ring. Tom said, "Come in."
Harry walked in smiling. "Hi Tom┘I hope I didn't wake you."
"No I ways already up┘What's up,"
"I woke up and I couldn't fall back asleep┘I was wondering if you wanted to join me in an early breakfast."
Tom smiled, "Sure Harry┘just give me ten minutes to shower and change."
Harry saw the padd on the coffee table. "Where you finishing up you conn report?"
Tom smiled, "No┘I handed that in this morning┘I was writing to me sisters."
Harry frowned, "I write to Libby sometimes┘unfortunately she will never get to them."
Tom smirked and put his right hand across Harry shoulder. "You never know, if someone told me two months ago I would be flying a Federation starship through the Delta Quadrant I thought they were crazy┘As a famous Starfleet officer said, 'There are always possibilities' and if I know Captain Janeway like I think I do she won't give up until we get home."
Harry smiled, "I hope you are right,"
Looking at his letter Tom smiled. "Me too."
