A/N: hiya!!! it's been sooooo long!! ok, this is just a silly story that i came up with when I had like way 2 much time on my hands. hope ya like, and PLZ REVIEW!!!!! oh, yes, i would like to dedicate this to: Shorty(Momiji), Kitty(Kyo, not that we ever call u that), and Haru(just haru. or of course moo moo)i must tell u in this ficcie, Ducky-dono is me, it is oneof my many names which i tell later in this ficcie, soplzenjoy and remember! REVIEWS make Ducky-dono happy

Welcome To The Crazy House

Chappie 1

"Where are we?"

"Welcome, Rurouni Kenshin cast, to Ducky-dono's bedroom!! Ignore the mess," a voice said.

"Oro? Who are you?" Kenshin asked looking around.

"I answered that already. You're in my bedroom," Ducky-dono said exasperated.

"How and why are we here?" Kaoru demanded.

"Because I brought you here! I kinda just wanted Aoshi-Sama to come, but looks like I messed the spell up," she pondered looking at the entire cast.

"What do you want with my Aoshi-Sama?!" Misao piped up.

"I want him. Nothing else, and hey! I gave you Soujiro, you two make a fitting couple!"

"Oh! Sou-chan, I'm so sorry!" she apologized looking at the down cast look on his face.

"Daijoubu, Misao-chan," he told her.

"Great! Now I can have Aoshi-Sama!! Anyway, now that you all are here, maybe we can play a game or something. Just let me make sure that I know how to send you back," Ducky-dono said, searching for her spell book.

"Just what the hell are you?" Sano asked.

"A mage. Only behind my parent's backs of course. If they knew, boy would they take my computer away!" she answered, running her hands down the bindings of many manga books.

"Wait, they all say Rurouni Kenshin on them," Yahiko pointed out.

"Hai, they do. You guys are a very popular manga series. Oh my god!!!!!!!! You should meet Shorty-chan!!!! She'd love you guys!!! And Haru! And Kitty-chan!!!! Kami would they love this!!!!!!!!" Ducky-dono shouted, dropping the spell book and running for the phone.

"Oh Shorty!!!!!!!!!! You gots to get over here!!!! I have the Kenshin cast in my bedroom!!!!!!!!!!" she yelled excitedly into the phone.

"Oh, ya know, my parents are away so I figured this would work out great!! Besides I locked the door, just in case," she assured the person on the other line, "Yosshi!! Get over here! I got to call Haru and Kitty!!!" she hung up and called the other two.

In about a half-hour all three girls had arrived and were eyeing the men up and down. Haru and Kitty were in silent agreement of who they would be going after, while Shorty was admiring her man from a distance, not daring to be so bold.

"Oh, Sano," Haru drawled.

"Nani?" he didn't like the way she were staring at him. Haru looked at him once more and then started walking towards him.

"Hey, Haru! Be careful, there's a fox in the room too!" Ducky-dono warned.

"Like I care about her," Haru said.

"Baka deshi, when the hell are we gonna get out of here?"

"Hiko-Sama, don't worry, we'll find a way to send you guys back. Why don't you come talk to me in the mean time?" Shorty answered.

"Why not? Do you have any sake?" he asked. She regretfully shook her head no.

"Sorry, this isn't Japan people, we have beer and wine and such. Oh, well, Aoshi-Sama," Ducky-dono drawled.

"Hey Kenshin!" Kaoru yelled from across the room, "Look at this! It's exactly what happened to us!"

"Oro?" she had been looking at the manga books with fascination.

"She's only got up to eight though," she looked sad.

"That's because nine hasn't come out yet, sometime this month. I was kinda glad though, cause I haven't got paid yet. But, I know what's gonna happen anyways. Kenshin's gonna get to Kyoto, go to his master's, then Kaoru's gonna break down the door with Yahiko, and somethin' like that. It's been a while since I saw the episodes. Besides, their only up to episode nine," Ducky-dono answered, holding onto Aoshi's hand.

"Really? How'd you know all that if it isn't out?"

"Wow, this is totally weird. I watched the show and of course, read tons of fanfictions!" she told them.

"Fanfiction?"

"Yeah, a whole bunch of people read or watch your show and then write their own stories about you guys. You wouldn't believe some of the stuff they do to you! Like Shorty made Kenshin and Yahiko die and then Kaoru went insane and died! But she's a tragedy shipper so it's to be expected," Ducky-dono enlightened them.

"Isn't Shorty your friend that's talking with Shishou?" Kenshin wanted to know.

"Yeah, but don't get mad at her! It was really well written and she wrote happy ones too! Her's wasn't nearly as sad as 'Her Ghost In the Fog.' NOT HER VOICE IN THE MIST!!!!!!!! Right, Shorty?"

"Hee, hee. Yeah, I know, I know! I already apologized in my review for the stupid title mix up! Besides it was kinda funny to hear you yell, 'I didn't rape her!!!!' across the cafeteria," Shorty said, looking up from Hiko.

"Yeah, well I have a tendency to be loud," she answered, "Hey, Kitty, who are you after?"

"Do I have to tell you?"

"Iya, I know already," Ducky-dono said hitting Kitty's arm.

"That tickled," she giggled.

"Not now, Kitty, everyone here doesn't know of our sick, perverted inside jokes," Ducky-dono berated her.

"Yeah, Kitty," Haru joined in.

"Look you stupid cow, you are the one who said that you like it big!!"

"That was an accident!! Stupid cat!! Right, ferret-fish?"

"Um, yeah," Ducky-dono answered, backing away, it was always scary when those two had a fight.

"What is this?! Are you taking her side? I guess we're off for tonight then!" Kitty said outraged.

"No!! And, hey, I thought I said no more sick, perverted inside jokes," Ducky-dono suddenly remembered.

"Oh, sorry about that it's just so fun," Kitty apologized.

"For real," Haru agreed with her for once.

"I know, but we totally have to keep this PG-13, you know what happens if we don't, take Abracadabra for instance," Ducky-dono reminded them.

"What are you three talking about?" Sano came up behind them, "And who the hell is 'ferret-fish?'"

"Oh, I should probably tell all of you all of my names," Ducky-dono sighed, "Ducky-dono is my 1st name, it's used the most, that or ducky. Then I have, Lucky-Ducky-Chan, weasel, ferret-fish, Kagura, Hari, Kanna-Kanna-chan, Gimpy, and probably a whole bunch more that I don't feel like naming."

"No one should have that many names," Misao said.

"Well, Some of those are based off of you, so I wouldn't be talking about how many names I have," Ducky-dono informed her.

"Gomen, then."

"No problem, hey, where did Aoshi-Sama go? Let's go look for him, ne?" she suggested.

"Good idea."

So while Kitty conversed with Kenshin, Haru with Sano, and Misao and Ducky-dono searched for their beloved Aoshi-Sama, who was currently hiding under Ducky-dono's bed, Shorty was talking with Hiko.

"So," she started, unsure of what to say.

"So what? Because someone was obsessed with Baka Deshi's stupid friend, we all got stuck in this stupid hell-hole," Hiko answered.

"Hmph! Ducky-dono may be a little obsessed with Aoshi-Sama, but how can she not be?! I mean he is sooooo hot!!! And her room is cool!" she defended.

"A girl with spunk," was all he said, before going back to searching for an alcholic drink.

"What does that mean?" Hiko ignored her (sry shorty!) which made Shorty a little upset.

"Fine! I'll just go see the Battousai instead!"

"Whatever."

"Hey!!! Aoshi-Sama, come on out!! It's like way dark under there, besides, you don't know what you'll find under there, I mean it is my bed. I haven't gone under there in years! I'm always afraid of what I might find," Ducky-dono called to Aoshi who was under the bed.

"I'm not coming out."

"Oh! Aoshi-Sama, come on!" Misao pleaded.

"No."

"Uh, Aoshi-Sama?" Ducky-dono said uncertainly, shining her flashlight underneath.

"Nani?"

"You might want to get out of there," she said.

"Naze?"

"There's a really huge spider right next to you." Aoshi pulled his kodachi's and sliced it in half.

"Hey! That wasn't fair! You still have to come out!!" Misao informed him.

"Fair is fair."

While Ducky-dono and Misao were having no luck at coaxing their Aoshi-Sama out, Haru was fairing a little better with Sano.

"Get away from him, you stupid cow!!!" Megumi screamed.

"Why you stupid kitsune?!"

"Hey!! You can't call her kitsune, you're gonna have to call her fox, because that's Kitsune-kun's name!!" Ducky-dono shouted over all the noise.

"Oh, when did you think up a name for her?"

"Just Friday! Hey! Hiko, where is Shorty?" Ducky-dono answered.

"That small girl? With my baka deshi," he told her.

"Oh, I should have known who her second choice would be."

"So, tell me how the Battousai comes out again?" Kenshin sighed, this was the fifth time he'd answered the question.

"Why are you so interested?" Kaoru asked, coming over.

"No reason," she smiled.

"Give it up!! You like the Battousai!!" Kitty accused.

"Do not!!"

"Do to!!"

"DO NOT!!!!!"

"DO TO!!!!!!!"

"ALRIGHT!!!!" Ducky-dono interrupted.

"What?!" they both demanded.

"Maa, maa, no need for hostility," Ducky-dono soothed, "You both like the same guy, only different sides of his personality."

"WHAT?!" Kaoru gasped.

"Sessha agrees with Kaoru-dono, how do you both know both sides of Sessha's personality?" Kenshin said.

"Easy!! Fanfiction allows us to explore all sides of everyone!!" Ducky-dono said, "Your emotional sides, your kick-ass sides, your angry sides, and even your, well, let's just say lemon sides."

"Ewwwww!! Them things are nasty!!" Shorty said.

"Hmmm, should I write one about them?" Kitty asked.

"NO!! Jae and that ugly guy Ken was enough!! I can't believe you enjoyed writing it, and you like to read them!!" Ducky-dono said.

"Yeah, I mean that's just gross," Shorty agreed.

"But how can you say Ken is ugly?!" Haru joined the fight.

"Ya, know, it is gross, but then again, all we do in math is crack sex jokes," Ducky-dono pointed out.

"What's a lemon?" Kenshin asked.

"For real," Kaoru wanted to know as well.

"Should we tell them? Oh!! Ya know what's even worse than a lemon? A yaoi or yuri lemon!!"

"What's a yaoi? What's a yuri? And what's a lemon?" Kenshin wanted to know.

"They have a right to know what people write about them," Shorty pointed out.

"Yeah, but how will they react?" Haru asked.

"Okay, Kaoru will blush upon hearing who her lemon was with and avoid eye contact. Kenshin will blush and exclaim, 'ORO!!' Sano will look at his usual partner and say something smart-assy, and then the whore will proceed to smack him," Ducky-dono replied.

"Oh, good predictions, maybe we should tell them and see if you're right?" Shorty wondered.

"I think they can handle it," Kitty said.

"Then let's tell them!" Haru urged.

"Okay, you guys," Ducky-dono addressed the rk cast, "A lemon is a sex scene. The most common pairing's out there are: Kenshin and Kaoru, Sano and Megumi, Aoshi-Sama and Misao, and are there any other frequent one's Kitty?"

The cast of Rurouni Kenshin was reacting quite the way that Ducky-dono had predicted. Kaoru was staring at her feet, red as Kenshin's hair. Kenshin was blushing the same color, a small 'oro' escaping his lips.

"So, fox looks like we get it on. Want to make those things factual?" Sano had said.

"Hentai!" she had answered, smacking across him across the face. Aoshi and Misao were looking anywhere but each other's faces. Aoshi was a stony faced as ever, but Misao was even redder than Kaoru.

"No, there aren't any other ones, unless you count the other alternate pairings," Kitty told her.

"Ewwww! Like Kaoru and Saitou!! That was so sick, I swear I almost threw up!!"

"WHAT?!" Kaoru demanded upon hearing this. Conveniently, Saitou was missing from the party.

"Yeah, how people come up with this I have no idea, but I think it's sick, others think it's fitting, it's just their opinion," Shorty explained.

"Okay! Now time to tell you all about yaoi's and yuri's!" Ducky-dono started, "Okay, please, onegai, if you are going to lose your cookies, do it in that big garbage bag that the really nice Fed-ex man gave me when he delivered the Christmas gifts from my grandma."

"Why would we puke?"

"Trust me," Shorty told them.

"A yaoi is a gay male couple. I have nothing against gay's, but I just have some trouble swallowing it when they put all you guys together in them," Ducky-dono said, "And I'm sure you know what a lemon yaoi is now, but you don't know who people put together! The most common is Kenshin and Sano, but there are others like Kenshin and Katsu, I swear I saw this one labeled KxK and that means Kenshin and Kaoru, but it was Kenshin and Katsu! I almost threw up....." Ducky-dono got off the subject.

"DUCKY!!! Back to the topic at hand please!!"

"Huh? Oh, gomen, anyway, that's a lemon yaoi for you. And now onto yuri! Those are like yaoi's, but with females, Usually between Misao and Kaoru, or Kaoru and Megumi," she told them.

There were five heads in the big garbage bag. Aoshi, not having heard his name.

"Oh, that was to clean my room with. Oh, well, there's more!! I was reading summaries and there are some between Kenshin, Sano, and Aoshi-Sama," Ducky-dono caused Aoshi to join the crowd around the bag.

"Okay, Ducky-dono, don't say anymore," Shorty instructed.

"Okie dokie ryokotsi!!"

"Good, hey, just remembered, I still have to read the fifth one," Shorty remembered, "I am such a doof! I bought the sixth one instead of the fifth one!"

"Oh, I still have to read the second one," Kitty caught onto what series they were talking about.

"The one where they give each other hickeys?" Ducky-dono asked.

"Yep!!"

"God, you are so weird."

"Whatever, hey I think they're recovering from the shock!!"

"Sessha is straight!!!"

"Are you sure Baka Deshi? You crawled into my bed a lot when you were little, not to mention how much you wet the bed," Hiko commented.

"Kenshin wet the bed? That is hysterical!!" Yahiko joined in laughing with Hiko.

"Oh! I forgot a yaoi pairing! Hiko and Kenshin," Ducky-dono told them. Hiko and Kenshin returned to the bag.

"I really did need that to clean this room," she sighed.

"Too, bad, sob, sob, Ducky," Haru sympathized for her.

"I know, I know."

A/N: so? did ya like it? let me know by reviewing, weather it be flame or happy stuff! i really don't care if you flame me, it won't really bother me seeing as i am 2 perky a person to bring down!! unless u talk bad about Aoshi-Sama, then i might get mad.........