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"This Cupcake Note is the best! Hahahaha!" Light laughs as he writes down many names in his Cupcake Note. One day he found this Cupcake Note and decided it seemed like a pretty nifty thing to have, and now his whole life was so much better!
"When I take over the world, everyone will be turned into a cupcake! Then no one will be able to challenge me, because they will all be cupcakes!" Light rolls his head back and blasts into another fit of evil laughter. "Isn't that right, Ryuk?"
"Yes, it will be so hilarious, when you do that," says Ryuk. "This is exactly what I hoped would happen when I dropped the Cupcake Note from the Cupcakegami Realm."
"Haha, damn straight! But first I'm turning only the world's deadliest criminals into cupcakes. I have to become Kira first, or else my whole plan is shot to ruin!" Light says in a voice.
"Light, honey, it's time for supper!" a mysterious woman calls up the stairs, "I made your favorite Japanese dish, just special!"
"Mom, I told you, not while I'm on my murder spree! And I already spoiled my appetite with a bag of potato chips!" Light screams back.
"Okay, sweetums! I'm going to leave your Albuterol on the bottom stair in a little baggie! Don't eat too many cookies!"
"I won't be eating any cookies because I'll be turning criminals into cupcakes!" Light chuckles to himself trickily. Suddenly the television flickers to the image of a fancy "L" against a plain white background. A news program about puppy farms had been playing previously.
"Hey, what is going on?" Light says, "I was watching that news program about puppy farms out of the corner of my eye! Everyone at Channel 87 News is getting turned into a cupcake, right now!"
But as Light raises his hand to begin an aggressive writing montage, the screen cuts to a man sitting in a regal office chair at a regal desk. On the desk is a nameplate that says his name, Lind L. Tailor, and behind him is a generic blue flag.
The man begins to speak, "Greetings, citizens of Earth. I am Lind L. Tailor, just as my nameplate here reads-or better known as the secret detective L. I am forcing every television station across the entire planet to simultaneously play this broadcast, so that I can address Kira directly. Unless he is in a remote location out of the range of any television signals, though my superior detective skills suspect that is not the case."
"What is this pure nonsense!" Light yells. He chucks his pen at the screen, and it ricochets back at his face. "Oh, you are so becoming a cupcake now, you idiot fool!" Light finds his pen and grabs the Cupcake Note. "Hehehe, this will teach you never to mess with Kira, El Dumbass" Light says under his breath. He scribbles down the name that is on the nameplate in immaculate penmanship.
"Just forty seconds and the world will know my true power," Light says while eyeing his watch.
"Five, four, three, two, one...," Light counts to himself. Then there is a poof of pink smoke. Where L's hands were just milliseconds ago, there is only a red velvet cupcake topped with a dollop of caramel frosting and purple jimmies.
"Haha, sucker," Light says as he admires the gorgeous cupcake his fast nemesis has become.
This wonderous thing to behold is short-lived as the live broadcast is again replaced with the image of the fancy L. A garbled monster voice speaks through the television.
"Kira, the man you just killed was an inmate on death row. His execution was scheduled for today. As you have probably deduced, you have not turned the real L into a cupcake. I am still alive and very much not a cupcake. If you are truly all powerful, you should have no problem turning me into a cupcake right now." The voice is coming from the television's speakers.
"Grrrrrr..." Light growls through gritted teeth. Who did this L think he was, messing with his global enslavement plans?
"Come on, what are you waiting for? Turn me into a cupcake!" the voice goads him. But Light knows this is impossible. He doesn't have enough information about this wad of human jerk to turn him into a cupcake.
"Stupid Cupcake Note," Light says as he throws the stupid Cupcake Note to the ground and attempts to kick it, but misses because the Cupcake Note is so flat.
"Hey, don't disrespect the Cupcake Note," says Ryuk.
"I'm waiting," the voice continues, "Just as I previously deduced. This message is actually only being broadcast in the Kanto region of Japan. You have been tricked, Kira. I now know your general location and the general extent of your powers. I will find you, and you will be brought to justice."
"Your mom will be brought to justice!" Light yells at the screen before picking up the Cupcake Note from where he had thrown it in his fit of teenage rage, "Then she'll be turned into a cupcake!" Light rolls his head back and blasts into a fit of evil laughter. "You'll all be turned into cupcakes! You may have won this round L, but I will win the war!"
Little did Light know, his arch rival, to whom he had just issued this challenge of wits, was a hamster. meow!
Whew, exciting chapter! I really himmed and hawed over my characterization of Light, but in the end, I think it turned out pretty well! Future of this story: hopefully it'll span all of the original, or at least all of the important points. IDK, Mello and his doofy haircut will probably get cut. Anyway, I think this is a really fresh concept and I want to push it to the max! That's all!
