Dreams, Nightmares, Visions, Lunacy

Note: Sopranos fan-fiction. CJ has visions of his father and Tony, as well as other unusual reveries that come after a bad case of food poisoning. Someone comes too close, seeming suspicious. Not the type to kill unless necessary, CJ plans to "deal with" the problem appropriately.

"There's a couple of things they don't teach you at Harvard Business School: one is how to cope with defeat, and the other is how to handle guns. I'm doing both right now."—Russ Cargill, The Simpsons Movie

"First your friends want you to sober up because they feel it's the 'right thing to do', and then they get on your case when you won't have a few beers with them !"—Christopher Moltisanti, Sopranos Season 6, Part 2

Billy Costigan: Frank, how many of these guys have been with you long enough to be disgruntled, huh? Think about it. You don't pay much, you know. It's almost a f#$in' feudal enterprise. The question is, and this is the only question, who thinks that they can do what you do better than you?
Frank Costello: The only one that can do what I do is me. Lot of people had to die for me to be me. You wanna be me?
Billy Costigan: I probably could be you, yeah. Yeah, I know that much. But I don't wanna be you, Frank. I don't wanna be you.
Frank Costello: Heavy lies the crown... sort of thing.—The Departed

Chapter 1—Tearful Visit

I moaned softly as Tanya settled into my arms. We had finished making love and she was damned incredible. If I were a car, she knew exactly what it took to get my engine revved, so to speak. She had already drifted off, and even in her naked state, she was a work of art. Again, I sighed and shut my eyes and suddenly out of the corner of my vision, I thought I saw pop.

"Pop ? Is that you ?", I said quietly, trying not to get out of bed. The smartly-dressed man went around the corner, and then I heard another voice that was familiar. The raspy voiced person was none other than Uncle Tony. I never forgot how Tony had raised me after dad died, and I still admired him.

"Uncle Tony ?", I questioned, hoping he would answer me. The dapper fellow had followed him and seemed to have been talking to him for a while.

"Hey, Junior.", the man in the updated pinstripe suit said, affectionately. Even though I had only heard my father's voice in my infancy, I knew it from anywhere. I couldn't hold back my tears as I rushed toward him and hugged him tightly.

"Pop ! Pop, why are you here with me now ?", I asked.

"We're just visiting. Your children, son, are gorgeous, like their father.", Tony said. I couldn't help but burst at pride at my Uncle's praise.

"Why, though ?", I questioned, as I dried my tears and allowed myself to be consumed with the warm hugs of both my father and Uncle Tony.

"Just a check up, CJ. Keep up the good work.", father said, kissing me on the forehead. And in a split second, the men had disappeared. There was a slight chill in the air and out of fear; I rushed back into my room to see Tanya resting quietly. I left to check on Giovanni and Anya, both of them lost in their own dream worlds. My eyes had watered slightly. There were still so many questions I wanted to ask both of them that I never had a chance to have answered. I could still smell cigar smoke and aftershave. I allowed myself to recall those fragrances before I wiped some remaining tears from my eyes and went back to sleep, holding my lovely Russian doll close.

Chapter 2—Hallucinations

Another typical day in the Moltisani household. Still going under a different name so as not to seem suspicious, we live out our lives here in a lesser-known tropical island. There's plenty to do here and we're pretty spoiled in how we live our lives. Yet, I have taught my children you have to work to get what you want, and be patient.

Tanya was having a jones for Thai food, and I myself wanted to try something new for quite some time. The kids would have their typical food if they didn't want to burn their guts out trying five alarm foods. I could definitely understand that, and so could Tanya. Without saying much more, we found the nearest Thai restaurant and were served quickly. The children ate French fries and burgers while we scarfed down some delicacies I couldn't even pronounce. Everything was sensational, but no sooner had I gotten home that I realized I was sick. I kept taking runs to the john, puking every 5 minutes.

"Would you like a Sprite ?", Tanya questioned, courteously. That woman was always putting herself before me. The little tykes were concerned too, but Tanya told them gently that "daddy was sick and needed to be left alone for a bit". Both of them understood perfectly, and went to go quietly play board games and canasta.

"No, honey. I'll probably just puke that as well.", I said. All I needed now was some rest and a trash bin close to the bed, and I would overcome this damned flu. I had never been this sick before, except for the time I had injected heroin for the first time. This food poisoning sickness was a hell of a lot worse than that shit. That phase of my life, over with, done. I remembered some of the f#$ed up stuff I had seen during my "trips", too…Shit you'd never believe. What I saw as soon as I slipped into a fitful sleep was the most twisted messed up dream I would ever have.

First, I thought Tanya was a bear, coming to eat me whole as I fled through the forest. Then I heard voices, voices all around me, swirling, and shouting, distorted. I placed my hands over my ears, shook my head, and screamed.

"SHADDUP !", and finally the voices thought, seeming to heed my command. I then started living through commercials I had recently seen, none of which made sense.

I then relived the experience I had when I had a brush with death, and that is when I awoke to vomit for the last time. Tonya asked me if I was feeling better and with a groan I turned over, shivering, feeling pain all over my body. I had broken out into a sweat, so at least I knew I was overcoming the fever. She stood there with a can of Sprite as if she sensed I was on the mend.

"Here. This will help. I will sleep on the couch until you are completely well.", she said. I turned around, noticing what hour it was. It was already 10:00 pm. F#$ how time flies when one is ill.

Chapter 3—The Cabana Boy Knows Too Much

By the time I awakened the next day, I vowed to myself to never eat another f#$ing bite of Thai food as long as I lived. It was a terribly hot summer day, and Giovanni and Anna were splashing around playfully. Our "cabana boy" as we called him, had always kept the pool clean and he was scheduled to come around today and put that chlorine shit in our pool again. I wasn't a big fan on that stuff, let alone the leering looks the little bastard gave to my wife. I had threatened him plenty of times. If any one of his eleven fingers touched my wife, I would be glad to snap each one of those offending digits off and have him swallow them whole.

Cabana boy began acting very suspiciously as he watched me and my wife sunning ourselves and the kids rode their bikes around the neighborhood. Tanya had a tendency to sun herself topless so her tits were out for everyone to see. That damned cabana boy was this close to getting his cock twisted off.

I had tried holding my anger back until I could no longer keep my rage from bubbling over. Quickly, I hustled my way over to Martinez, or whatever the f#$ his name was and swept him up by the collar.

"Listen here, cocksucker. You keep your eyes focused in ONE place, or we'll have issues.", I growled. The little Mexican whimpered and if I didn't know any better I could smell piss. It seemed then that the Mexican had become bold suddenly.

"You look very familiar to me, senor. Sort of like that one Guido…", he stated, narrowing his eyes. I utterly hated when others called Italians "Guidos". It was worse than being called a guinea. I was about ready to punch this guy's face in, permanently, but I had him continue.

"Look, I can have you compensated. Whatever you have heard about us, you heard nothing. Got me ?", I said, pulling out a stack of Benjamins and placing them in his back pocket. The Mexican nodded. If I had anymore trouble with him, it would be dealt with quickly, swiftly and without any pain…that is unless he pissed me off again. I didn't think I would have anymore trouble however. Martinez did his part to keep his lip zipped and keep his eyes off my wife's body, as well as any other part of him. It was better that way…Martinez was one more problem I'd rather not associate myself with here.

Chapter 4—AJ's Vision

It was 12:00 at night and there was a knock on my door. Scared that the Moltisantis might have been found out, I carried a Glock close to me just in case the visitor was a rat sent to snuff us all out. Carefully I opened the door and AJ almost screamed when he saw my gun.

"Jesus, AJ ! Don't scream like that…I could've capped you.", I said, putting the gun in my pocket and caught my breath.

"I need to talk to you privately in the kitchen.", AJ said, sweat beading his brow. There was a certain ominous feeling in the air and it wasn't welcome by any means.

"Sure.", I said, leading him there, offering him a coffee to drink but he refused. He hardly ever refused my coffee. I knew something was terribly out of sorts with how he was acting, and secondly how quickly he had found me.

"Chrissy, it's bad.", AJ said, trying to keep himself as calm as he possibly could.

"What the f# is that supposed to mean ? Just spit it out, AJ.", I said, looking at him intently. He began to tell me of a horrible vision he had experienced just the other night.

"You and I were sent out to get information from a rival gang here, and they figured out who we were, what we did and that we were a threat. By all means possible they did all they could to terminate us. They even killed your sister and worse, your mother…", AJ said, shivering.

"And how long as that nightmare been going on ?", I asked, starting to feel sweat building up on my forehead and neck.

"For about a week, man ! I would've contacted you, but every time I tried dialing your cell, you weren't available.", CJ said, trying to remain as calm as he could. I tried telling myself fearing a nightmare like this one was illogical, but AJ wouldn't have approached me with it if he hadn't thought it was worth mentioning. My mind began reeling, but I remain calm.

"Maybe it is a sign ?", AJ asked, wiping the sweat from his brow.
"I dunno, Tony. I really don't. But for the next few days, stick with me, and I'll make sure we'll be safe.", I said. The young man embraced me and placed his head on my chest. It was again I did my best to comfort my second son to the best of my ability. Quietly I sang the moon song to him and he drifted off.

Tanya had been curious as to why AJ was with us in the tropics, but I couldn't tell her what was actually happening. I didn't want her to get involved, for fear I would lose her. A bit angered but understanding, she stomped out of the room and went into the family room to watch some TV.

One night, both of us had heard something scurrying around the house and naturally being paranoid as we both were, we always carried pieces on us.

"You go out there, I don't wanna go out there.", AJ said, sounding much like a little boy more than the young man I knew he was.

"Sure. But if there's nothing there you know you're not going to hear the last of this, you pussy.", I said, hoping my insult would get him angry enough to come with me.

As we went outside, there had been a voyeur who had been jerking off outside the window of our master bedroom, where Tanya slept (usually in the nude too).

"Let me shoot him in the nuts…Just once, he'll learn his lesson.", AJ said, and before I could stop him, the voyeur had been shot without seeing us. Wailing in a high voice, gritting his teeth and swearing, the little prick left without even knowing what had hit him.

"So, what was that about your nightmare again ?", I asked jokingly. AJ grabbed me suddenly and harshly gave my arm the worst Indian rub I had ever received. I could tell he was pretty upset with me treating his nightmare so lightly, but at least we knew it was just that, a nightmare and nothing more.

Chapter 6—Rosetta Returns

As soon as AJ calmed down and knew that he had only felt warning rather than having an actual ephiphany of sorts, he left the tropics and returned to his home. I wondered now how his family life was panning out. As far as I knew, he was happily married and had a daughter named Victoria. I didn't know if he had any other kids, but I was glad he had moved out of that awful depression and was making it work for himself and especially for his young wife, Juno.

For a long time, I hadn't heard from my so-called "slut" sister, Rosetta. She was no longer whoring around with guys that didn't deserve her and she had applied herself well when it came to school. Last I had heard, she was making As and Bs in her classes and was attending university to become, ironically, a pediatrician. I knew this would take her time to complete, but I had faith in her. Finally, she was turning around and I had all the confidence in the world she was becoming the lady I knew she could always be.

Chapter 7—Kellie Dies

With every rejoicing comes a time of sorrow. It wasn't long after Rosetta received her doctorate that mom had started to become increasingly worse with her rheumatoid arthritis and inability to move about. Tanya, the kids and I could no longer take care of her and she had to be relocated to Whispering Willow Village. She wasn't senile and she still recognized our faces, but the drugs of the past had damaged her so badly she wasn't ambulatory any longer. It was traumatic to see, but we knew we were doing the best thing for my beloved mother.

Not too many days after Rosetta started working in a pediatrician's office and chatting up the doctors, she had met someone very genteel named Bryce. I hadn't heard anything but good things about him, but I had to give him a look over before I approved of course. I was a bit overbearing, but it was just my way. Old habits die hard, I suppose.

It wasn't long after I got to know Bryce that I had learned of his engagement plans and learned he wasn't such a bad guy after all. I just had to stop acting like a detective around him and but out of my sister's business. I was the younger brother and I was acting like an older brother. Nevertheless, I approved of the young man and I was happy Rosetta was finally on the road to becoming a lovely young lady.

Tragically, mom died after Rosetta's wedding, which was very sad for all of us, but it had been difficult to see her funeral. It was open-casket, and my poor mother had been seriously f#$ed up beyond all recognition. She was peaceful but I couldn't bear to look at her. As soon as she had been laid in the ground, I knew she was at peace at last. She had lived a rather full life, right up to her late seventies when she became addicted to pain-killers for the second time in her life. I tried getting her off of that shit, but it was no use. I remembered her for the person she was, rather than what the drugs had done to her. We said our goodbyes and went about our lives like "normal" people, except I was the one with blood on my hands. Despite my guilty stains, some nightmares never fade, and sometimes the stains don't quite wash out.

From the journals of Christopher Motisanti II

Origins: Unknown

Still alive, breathing…somewhere

But as to where, no one really knows.