A/N: The person Ienzo is thinking of is Aeleus. I do hope you enjoy this!

Disclaimer: I do not own Kingdom Hearts or anything related to it.


I want to feel your touch again.

People say you realize how much you love someone when that someone is taken from you.

I want you to hold me in your arms once more.

Death makes you realize all the things you should have realized in life, I guess: the mistakes you have made; the things you wish you could go back and do over; the friends and family you never appreciated enough - the list could go on.

Love was - no, is - the key to happiness, in my eyes. No matter how shitty or wonderful your life is, love will always prevail and make it better - to an extent, of course. You realize thatin your final moments, more importantly.

When I was with him, I was at my happiest. Whether the situation be good or bad, I was happy as long as I had him by my side. He was the one who kept me sane; he was the one who held me when the nightmares would keep me up at night; he was the one who would give his life and kill for me.

He was the one I loved. No, no, the one I still and always will love - I am not dead, yet, no need to make that the past tense. And if there is a life beyond this one, then I will still love him, even then.

One simple action could have changed our lives completely: if we had backed off from the experiments, if we had quit and lived our lives the way we wanted - no, needed - to, we could have lived the most happiest life together.

What I wonder, though, is if he and I had left, if the others would have followed in our footsteps. And, if they had, if the whole project would have crumbled to pieces. Then, and only then, would we all be alive and happy today, cherishing our loved ones and living the lives we want to live, without death by our hands?

But, alas, that is not how it appears to be turning out. I have fallen, many thanks to my stupidity and naivety - which is ironic enough, considering who I am -, and the others will fall after me. Whether it be because they have snapped, or because they simply cannot take this life anymore, it does not matter - for the Darkness will engulf them all one day, one person at a time.

We have all gotten that deep into this - there is no turning back, I realize.

The one I love shall be next, after me; I am no fool, neither is he. We both know that we cannot live without each other. Had he gone in my place instead, and I still be alive today, I would have gone mad and needed to be put out of my misery. That is how much we love and care for one another.

I think everyone, no matter who you are, is given as many chances as they may need to live a happy life. For, if there were higher beings up there watching over us, They would not want Their creations to live the most unhappiest of lives. We are Their children, living as many lives as we need to in order to learn our lessons. And, in the end, we all learn them, and we all will live together in happiness.

Perhaps I only think that because it sounds beautiful to me - because I desperately wish to live again and do things right this time, so he and I can live together the way we wanted to. Everyone deserves a break every now and again, no?

But I cannot help but wonder… if there is to be a life beyond the one I have lost, will it be the complete opposite of what I want, because of what I have done in my previous life? I took lives, I played God, and for that, do I even deserve a better life after this?

As much as I wish to say 'yes', I know in my Heart the answer is 'no'.

If there is a life beyond this, it will be to teach me a lesson. There will be no happiness, there will be no love. I took everything I had for granted. Even though now, in my 'death', I realize how much I fucked up, and how sorry I am, I still made all of those mistakes and took all of those lives. To balance it back out again, I must suffer myself.

In the end, I hope I will finally be given my happy ending.

My happy ending… with him.