AN: My first fanfiction and English is not my mother tongue, so please be kind. Hope you like it. Would mean a lot to me, when you tell me what you think, so I know, if I should continue with this story.
He is standing in front of her appartement again. He is holding the blue french horn again. He is looking at her with his puppy dog eyes again. He is hoping to get back together with her – AGAIN.
But this time she has not the strength to refuse. She can´t go through this another time. After all, she has to be happy, when someone loves her. Even if it´s Ted. Even if it´s a man, she doesn´t love. She always wanted to be a famous journalist, traveling the world, not needing anybody. And after all, she got what she wanted: she became a famous journalist. But not even that: along with that she found a man who loved her unconditionally, who supported her, who traveled the world with her. But that was too much. She pushed him away, because she couldn´t handle it anymore. She had so much work in the different countries, but Barney never held her back. He never complained- instead he always waited with a smile on his face, ready to hug her, kiss her, tell her how great she does her work every day. However, after a while, she got frustrated. She felt guilty because she had everything and Barney had to give up his work for her. So she only saw one way to escape from that feel of guilt: pushing him away. She worked harder than ever, told Barney she was too tired to go out, too tired to go on some great adventure. She had barely time for him anymore and he started his blog again because he was bored.
It went like this for over a year until that crucial day in Argentina. Barney never minded traveling with her when she has been „his Robin". When she was herself. But this new self of her- only working, always telling him he doesn´t have to travel with her- got on his nerves. And then the fight escalated: there was no proper wifi-connection and Barney was furious and frustrated. It wasn´t about the wifi- it has never been. It was about her. She had changed. She had pushed him away all the time, had stopped telling him her work-stories, had stopped enjoying the different cities with him. And now she shouts at him and blames him because he wants proper wifi, so he can go on with his blog? Then Robin proposes to give him an out. Tears shot into his eyes, but he takes it. She doesn´t want to be with him anymore, she is fed up. He feels like a burden to her, so he takes the out. Sleeps with her one last time. One last time where they both cried, clinging to each other, not wanting it to end, but neither of them says anything, so Barney packs his suitcase and goes back to New York. They divorced.
In 2029 Robin was sent back to New York. She has traveled for almost 15 years now and accepted the job offer as newscaster in New York. She loved her job so much, but she has been on every continent and feels the urge to settle now. Back in New York she looked for an appartement and bought some dogs again, because she felt so alone. Marshall and Lily were all busy with their children and their jobs and she didn´t see Ted and Barney often either. Ted invited all of them to dinner with Penny and Luke once in a while, but the dinners always seemed forced because nobody knew what to talk about. And Barney, he was never coming anyways. Robin missed him so much, every part about him: his inappropriate jokes, his smile, his beautiful blue eyes, his soft hands, his tight hugs, his stories – just everything. However, since he had Ellie, no one saw him that much anymore. Lily and Marshall seem to talk to him sometimes, but Ted has no contact with him anymore.
Ted only seems to cling on her. At the rare dinner-evenings Penny and Luke always push their father towards her. They never get tired to assure her, how much Ted talks about her and yes, it´s kinda cute of Penny and Luke, but she feels pretty awkward every time they start with that topic again. Although Robin likes Penny and Luke and thinks it´s sweet they want their father to be happy, she guesses there is another reason behind their pushing: they´re teenagers now. They want to hang out with their friends and experience some great stuff themselves instead of listening tot he stories of their dad. And she can imagine, Ted must be really clingy, especially when Tracy passed away. Robin is also pretty sure, it have been Penny and Luke again who finally got their dad to run to her and stand in front of her appartement with that horn.
So, now he is standing there, clearly wanting to tell her about his feels. Her answer is a smile. A smile full of pain, because she pushed the love of her life away, a smile full of doubts that she will ever find a man again if she sends Ted away again. That´s why she allows him to come up to her appartement, to let him tell her, what he wants to say.
Ted is ridiculously happy that Robin lets him in. They sit down on her couch. He gives her the horn, declares his love, looks at her lovingly and she just smiles because she isn´t really listening. Then it´s silent. „Shit, that must have been a question.", Robin thinks. But Ted, oblivious as always, asks again: „I never stopped thinking about you, that´s why I kept the horn all the time. And I want to know, what´s about you- do you think about me sometimes too?" Her mind drifted away once again: „Of course, I have. But not in the way you might want me to. I thought about the gang in general. One time in Rio I saw a guy running around with a butterfly tattoo on his shoulder- that reminded me of you. But most of the time, I think of you when I miss Barney, because then I ask myself why the two of you aren´t talking anymore and why he isn´t coming to the dinners." Deep down, she knows, she should say these exact words to him. But, she doesn´t. Instead she says: „Of course, I did. I also have kept the locket." (He doesn´t have to know the story behind her still having the locket- he would surely not like it, because it´s connected to someone, he surely doesn´t want to talk about now. His name starts with a B.). Ted laughs full of joy now, grabbing her, intending to kiss her, but she jumps from the couch. Ted is confused and Robin knows that wasn´t the wisest choice when she wants him to keep him around, so she doesn´t have to die alone, but she can´t kiss him. Every part of her body cringes when she just thinks about it. So she whispers: „Oh, wait Teddy-boy. Not so fast. Don´t you want to see the locket?" He doesn´t care about the locket right now, but he also doesn´t want her to throw him out of her appartement, so he agrees. He waits in the living-room while she goes into her bedroom looking for her locket.
She opens the box where she kept the locket and gasps in shock when she doesn't find the locket, but a small piece of paper instead. Written on it were the following words:
Back in the day,
when you thought I was away,
I gave you a key,
and the story started of how you came back to me.
