Author's Note: This takes place after the school shooting. Peyton's upset about Brooke and Lucas's relationship, but it's not Lucas she wants to be with. I've always thought the relationship between Peyton and Brooke was so interesting, and I couldn't get this little fic out of my head. The song is called "Like We Used To" by A Rocket to the Moon. Let me know what you guys think, okay? And thanks for reading.
I could feel her breath as she's sleeping next to me
Sharing pillows and cold feet
She can feel my heart; fell asleep to its beat
Under blankets and warm sheets
If only I could be in that bed again
If only it were me instead of him
Remember all those times you'd get in a fight with Victoria and spend the night at my house? I never told you, but those were some of the best times of my life. We'd lie there, you curled into my side to stay warm, and you'd laugh as you felt the steady rhythm of my heartbeat. "It reminds me that you're still here," you explained after the shooting as you rested your head on my chest. Now I think about you laying in bed with Lucas and it makes me cringe. I'd give anything to have you back with me instead of with him.
Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts,
When you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music,
While you dance to purple rain?
Does he do all these things,
Like I used to?
We used to watch Titanic almost every night, remember that? God, I hated that movie, but somehow you always got your way. "This is my favorite part!" you'd squeal, hugging my arm. By the end you were in tears, and as I sat there with you in my arms, I couldn't quite remember why I hated Titanic. Somehow I can't picture Lucas watching that with you over and over again. Does he? Maybe he did at first, but then he probably pulled that 'let's make new favorites together' thing he does so well and you probably went along with it. I would have watched that movie with you a million more times, you know. All you'd have to do is want me to.
14 months and 7 days ago,
Oh I know you know how we felt about that night
Just your skin against the window
But we took it slow and we both know
It should've been me inside that car
It should have been me instead of him in the dark
We never talked about 'that night' except to agree that it didn't mean anything since we were both drunk. You must have been a lot more drunk than me because it wasn't nothing to me. But that memory is tainted by the memory of seeing the two of you last night. I didn't realize you were hooking up in your car until I was already too close. I almost threw up at the sight of the two of you. It took everything inside of me to not fall apart. And the worst part is that when you came over afterwards, you acted like nothing had happened. Maybe that's because you knew it should have been me.
Does he watch your favorite movies?
Does he hold you when you cry?
Does he let you tell him all your favorite parts,
When you've seen it a million times?
Does he sing to all your music,
While you dance to purple rain?
Does he do all these things,
Like I used to?
I couldn't stay mad at you, though. As much as I want to cut you off and save myself some heartache, I can't do that. Because then you decide to cheer me up by blasting music and dancing around my room, and I can't help but sing along. God, it's two in the morning, and I'm letting you burst in and go crazy. I hope you never do this with Lucas, but I hope to God that if you do he doesn't make you stop. Nobody should ever tell you to stop dancing, Brooke, because it's beautiful.
Will he love you like I loved you?
Will he tell you everyday?
Will he make you feel like your invincible,
With every word he'll say?
Can you promise me that this was right?
Don't throw it all away
Can you do all these things?
Will you do all these things?
Like we used to…
I love you, Brooke Davis. I always have and I always will. If you were mine, I'd tell you that every single day. Everything you do makes me love you a little more. I hope you know that. Brooke, just tell me…does he love you like I love you? Can you trust him they way you trust me? Will he be there for you the way I am? If he isn't, and if there's anything inside of you that says that maybe I'm the better choice, then be with me instead. Let me love you, Brooke Davis. It's the only thing I've ever been good at.
Like we used to.
