Author: TippierCoffee

Disclaimer: I do not own—nor do I claim the rights to—any of the characters, from the show Codename: Kids Next Door. All credit goes to rightful owner: Mr. Tom Warburton.

Song: I will always love you by Whitney Huston.

Enjoy :)


If I should stay, I know I would only be in your way. So I'll go, but I know, I'll think of you every step of the way.

The day has come, the day of your decommissioning. I've watched them all fade away, unable to stop the actions unfolding themselves in front of my eyes, and now I'm watching you go as well.

I know it will be hard to watch you go through to that chamber, and it will be hard to know you'll forget everything we've shared, you'll forget me. But it has to be done, because that's the rules.

And I, will always love you. You, my darling you, hmm.

I watch as you approach the decommissioning chamber, your steps a bit heavy and your head hanging low, but you keep going on because you know running will do you no good. I watch how you brush your blonde hair further into your emerald eyes, hiding the tears undoubtedly there. Something inside me screams at me and tugs at me, and suddenly I feel myself running up to you and giving you a firm hug from behind, my salty warm tears falling down upon your neck.

Bittersweet memories, that is all I'm taking with me. So goodbye, please don't cry. We both know, I'm not what you, you need.

"I don't want you to leave." I sob with a trembling, groggy voice, while my heart shatters just a bit more, and I hold you closer to me, wrapping my arms around your stomach, secretly hoping they will let me hold you like that forever.

You somehow manage to turn around in my 'killer hug', and then you do a thing you have not done many times before—and certainly not the way you are doing it now. You hug me back, softly, strongly, tenderly, and it takes me by such surprise I almost accidentally push you away, but I don't because I want to hold you, just a little longer.

And I will always love you. I will always love you.

"Why?" I ask, crying into your chest. I already know the answer: because it's the rules, but I don't want you to leave. There are still so many games I never got to play with you, and so many places I never got to go with you.

I need you to stay, I need you because I love you, and that realization makes me cry even harder and it makes my heart sink even deeper. I never got to tell you, and now our time is running out, and my chance is disappearing alongside you.

"Kuki?" You voice reaches my ear. So soft, so desperate, so longing. I look into your emerald orbs and find myself lost in them. I forget how to speak and strangely I don't mind it. All there is, is this moment; which will soon be interrupted if we take too long for their liking.

"I love you." You whisper softly so only I can hear it. "I'd wish I had told you before." You the croak, your voice breaking as you fight back tears of your own, and I find I can't take it anymore, it's all too much.

My knees start trembling beneath me, my breath speeds up, and I cry hysterically trying my best to kill the sound, which makes it sound weird—almost like a small screeching sound that only you can hear. I cuddle closer into you, resting my nose near your chest and inhaling you scent, accidentally sniffing in some tears.

I look at you, my vision blurry from all the tears pressing on relentlessly, you are crying too and it shatters my heart just a bit more, until it is in so many pieces it can hardly be put back together again.

"Wally I…" I want to respond to your confession, I want to tell you I love you too, want to know how it feels to kiss you.

But just as I'm about to finish my sentence, Numbuh eighty six grows impatient and comes and tears you out of my grip to drag you into the decommissioning chamber. I realize then—and the realization kicks me hard in the guts—that I will never get to tell you now, and I will never get to spend time with you as more than friends. I will only be able to dream, but even that might hurt too much.

I fall to my knees with that realization tearing apart every bit of me, as I bury my head in my hands and start crying out loud, uncontrollably and without pause. It hurts everywhere, and I can't breathe. But I can't help it; I know I'll miss you the most.

I hope life treats you kind, and I hope you have all you've dreamed of, and I wish you joy and happiness. But above all this, I wish you love.

Numbuh eighty six steps out with you again, a satisfied smile upon her face for another job well done. I look to you, fragile and broken, tears blocking my vision, and a spark of hope lits itself in my heart when I see you looking back to me with a confused look, as if asking me what in the world are you doing on the floor?

At that instant I feel like jumping to my feet and embrace you and tell you I love you too, but fear still pins me to the floor; yet I find myself wishing and hoping.

"W-Wally?" I try, carefully as if stepping on forbidden soil.

-Please remember!- I practically scream in my head. -Please let the machine be broken, please say my name, please remember me!-

And I will always love you, I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I will always love you. I, I will always love you.

You look at me, even more confused than before, and your emerald eyes seem to desperately try to hide the amusement you apparently feel seeing me here.

"Do I know you?" You then ask me with a bit of a snicker and an amused shake of your head. I'm hoping it's a joke, but from the way you're looking at me, your amusement now more evident than before, I can see that it isn't.

I hold my stomach and my head falls to the floor, while I start crying out loud again for the entire audience to hear. I don't care though, let them think I'm weak. This has got to be the most painful feeling I have ever felt, and it's swallowing me whole and sending me headfirst into a never ending black hole.

I hear Numbuh one going up to you to walk you home, and you ask him what my problem is, because of course you don't know—you forgot. My problem is you. Knowing that you forgot me, and knowing that I will never get to tell you how I love you too. A part of me still feels like running up to you, and hugging you, and spilling all the secrets to you, thereby breaking every single rule in the book. I'm too weak though, too broken, and while Numbuh one helps you out, Numbuh three-sixty-two puts a hand on my shoulder, awkwardly trying to calm me down and comfort me.

I know I appreciate it, but I also know it won't help. My cheerfulness will probably never return. I know I'll be the last to go, I'll have to watch Numbuh one disappear as well, and the thought alone seems to shatter me into a thousand pieces. But nothing will hurt as much as losing you; the only boy I ever have, and probably ever will, love.

You, darling, I love you. Ooh, I'll always, I'll always love you.


2013 REWRITE.

Originally written on November 27, 2007.

I hope you like this rewrite- I know I do as it has a lot more detail and it has a better flow, while really explaining the feeling going on inside Kuki. Let me know what you think though :)

Criticism and/or advices on improvement is/are highly appreciated and welcome.

~*~TippierCoffee~*~