The Priest and the Prostitute
Summary: Summary: The title says it all: a cute friendship between two unlikely people. I don't own Hellsing but my OC is mine 3 Could be rated M later but now T for language. Also could be spiritual stuff but not heavy-going to convert people stuff. ;3 Thiis is mostly humor though and cuteness.
Author's Note: So This Maggie is not the same Maggie from the pokemon/Hellsing crossover I have going in another story but this Maggie stands for something else but that's something you will have to find out! :3 Hope that doesn't confuse people. Shocking REality Magnolia is ffaaaaar different then this Maggie ;3 I hope you guys enjoy and tell me what you think!
Ice Cream and Insults
Chapter 1
How we met was one of the most unexpected occurrences in my whole twenty-five years of life, and it all started with ice cream…..that and then some.
…..
The sun shone down on the metal piercings that bounced on a young woman's caramel skin. Rusty red hair in lovely curls bounced on her tattoo exposed shoulders of the young woman as she bopped down the cobblestone street. Pop-dance jams were ringing in her ears as danced her way towards a nearby ice cream stand. Bright hazel eyes shown behind a pair of rose colored glasses. The man at the ice cream stand looked at her with peculiar eyes, he seemed hesitant to speak. She felt him look her up and down.
"Can I help you?" The man with sloppy hair trapped by stained cap. The woman pushed her hair over her tattooed shoulders.
"Chocolate ice cream, two scoops if you please, on a cone." She said matter of factly. Her thick red lips spread into an electrifying smile. The man gave her a slow nod and proceeded to get it ready for her. The woman shook her hips slightly as she bounced to her music until something broke through her jams.
A whistle.
A cat call whistle.
The woman snapped her head and turned to look behind her. Her hands on her exposed hips. Her hazel eyes flashed. Two young me were whispering and looking her up and down, grinning. One with curly black hair wearing nothing but black while the other one a dark brunette wearing a soccer jersey. They whistled at her again. The woman's eyes narrowed, making her uni-brow increasingly angry. The ice cream man suddenly spoke up,
"Here you go." The woman turned back and paid him in coins and took her ice cream. She quietly thanked him and then walked over to the men. They kept on that stupid grinning.
"Hey lady" They had started but they didn't get very far. In an instant the woman reeled her arm back and threw the ice cream in their direction. The little sly shits weren't just sly with their tongues but quick too, they dodged it easily. The ice cream had missed its target but hit someone else entirely. This someone else entirely was a rather large man with a large scar across a strong jaw, with a pair of circular spectacles. The woman's face paled, ignoring the men whistling at her and calling her names that her father would probably strangle them for, she ran around them to the poor chocolate covered man. Speaking in rapid apologies though most of them coming out in Spanish, while the scar faced man dripped with ice cream.
...
Anderson had just delivered his priestly robes to be leaned and ended up finding a nice bench in the sun near a beautiful fountain to catch up on his readings. There was a light breeze that ruffled his straw hair. He adjusted his glasses and just had opened his Bible when he heard an obnoxious noise in his ears. Someone cat calling. He looked up to see two men standing in front of him whistling to a woman he guessed but couldn't see cause the men were in the way. Alexander's eyebrows narrowed. He closed his Bible and looked up but suddenly something cold and wet hit him in the face. Alexander let out a low growl as he wiped the chocolate substance from his face.
"I am so sorry! This is my fault! I am so sorry!" Anderson looked up as chocolate still stuck to his sparse beard and hung from some parts of his hair. The glasses of his were off and his brilliant emerald eyes met large round hazel ones. He blinked back at the bright red that seemed to radiate from this strange woman.
"Aye, it's fine lassy but what do ye go around throwin ice cream fur?" He stood up and wiped his glasses. He glanced down at his white pressed shirt-stained now with chocolate.
"I'm sorry-I didn't mean to hit you I was aiming at them." She threw a thumb over her shoulder to the two shits that now had noticed they were being talked about.
"You might have a strong arm bitch but you can't hit worth a shit." The young man dressed in black. "But I bet we could." The woman turned on her heal, face flushed with rage she had just opened her mouth but before she could the black shirt man was on the ground, yowling in pain, holding his jaw. The large chocolate covered man had stepped in front of her in one quick movement in front of her. His glasses were on his face but they were filmed with sticky substance and he was still covered in ice cream. Despite that silly appearance his eyes were blazing and that scar on his cheek struck fear into everyone watching. The man at the ice cream cart backed away, lowering himself behind his cart, while others stopped from afar and watched wide eyed.
"I would watch ye mouths if I were ye!" Anderson growled. "If I were ye I would apologize to the little lass and have ye mothers wash yah mouths out with soap!" The curly haired man started to have a black eye forming.
"You're defending the slut? She's asking to get…"
Nope! The other man went down with one quick punch. The young woman behind Anderson jumped, he could feel her eyes watching him.
"Now boys, what did I just say? Apologize to this lass now." The two men scrambled away then stood up.
"Sorry Mis-Miss-" They stuttered looking at her expectantly.
Anderson turned to her slightly without his eyes leaving the two young men. "What's your name lass?"
"Maggie." Spanish accent flourishing as her voice jumped with nervousness.
"Sorry Miss Maggie. We won't bother you again, sorry we called you those names." Then with that the two men ran away both now with black eyes and crushed prides. Anderson sighed pushing his blonde now chocolaty hair back. He turned to now see the woman he had just defended. He was taken back though when his eyes finally settled on her. Maggie was a short young woman with rusty red curls though half of her head was shaved. Tattoos danced up her exposed stomach and ribs, while Anderson could see feathered tattoos or something on her shoulders. She wore a bright crimson belly shirt with a black mini skirt and combat boots. Black feathered earrings danced around her caramel complexion while other studs sparkled from her ears, stomach and nose.
"Oh thank you so much!" She ran up to him and hugged him. Anderson flinched, not used to having a half dress women hugging him.
"Ah it-'s nothing lass but-"
"No-no! You just protected me! You are such a gentleman and looked what I did to you." She frowned her bright red lips and studied Anderson's broad chest that was now speckled with chocolate as well as his hair when she let go of him. She tsked and tapped her foot. "Here let me help you get that off-it is literally stuck in your hair!" Maggie in one fluid motion pulled out a water bottle and what seemed to be a light red scarf made of thin material. "This will have to do." Anderson figured what she was doing and put his hands up.
"No lass, its fine-I should be headed back to the-"
He was silenced when the woman started to work her soaked scarf across his rugged face. One hand holding his face from moving while the other with the scarf worked to get the chocolate out. She was like a mother cleaning her child's face except Anderson was anything but a child. "You really don't have to do this…" he sputtered but she ignored him as she now moved to his hair, he negated his eyes to his gloved hands, a burning feeling running amok on his features.
"I hit you in the face with two scoops of chocolate ice cream and a cone-I think I need to do something….Mr?" Maggie pulled back after a moment succeeding getting the chocolate out of his scruff of a beard and hair. Alexander looked up to see her head cocked at him in a child-like way, now also noticing a tattoo of a cross resting on her clavicle bone. He negated his eyes and side stepped her.
"It's Alexander Anderson." A warm smile graced the young woman's lips.
"Alexander, I like it-it's a good name. Where are you-"
She was interrupted by an older man briskly walking up to them. When he reached them he gave the woman in red a judgmental glance then turned to Anderson with a look of horror.
"Father Anderson what on earth happened!?" Alexander saw the woman's mouth drop open and her face light up like a traffic light. Both men turned to see the woman back away, cursing in Spanish.
"Oh…oh no…I am so sorry! I didn't know…um here take this…for your shirt." She threw the red scarf at him and backed away again. "I am sorry, didn't know you were a priest. How disrespectful of me…" then muttering under breath. "I'm going to hell for sure." The man that knew Anderson, let his mouth hung open under his mustache. He turned to look at Anderson but the priest was shaking his head.
"Ah no...lass it's fine, ye didn't know and I appreciate the help." Maggie was red still and she shook her head.
"No-no that was so um…" she tried to search for a word but shook her head. "Where are you located Father Anderson-so I can send you some proper replacements for that shirt…I feel awful…" Maggie was a stuttering mess but kept a good distance away and tried to cover herself with her large bag. They all felt the eyes of by standers walking by and staring. Maggie especially was feeling really out of place.
"You really don't need to do that, lass." Anderson then gave her the scarf. "And don't worry about the shirt really."
Now she was the one who put her hands up. "No I insist and keep it to get the chocolate out of your nice shirt."
Alexander Anderson sighed, realizing there was no use fighting her. "I'm at the orphanage right outside the Vatican City." The woman's face paled, he swore he could have heard her mumble shit.
"Okay, th-thank you…and thanks for standing up for me. I must go now Father Andreson-sorry again!" She said now as she darted off not looking back.
…..
Renaldo looked at his co-worker in utter astonishment and horror. "What on earth was that? What happened Anderson?" Anderson looked down at the red scarf in his hands and then timidly used it to wipe his sticky glasses.
"Some men were harassing her and I stepped in." He mutters struggling to get the smudges off.
"But where did the chocolate ice cream come from?" His Italian accent rising.
"She hit me with it."
"She what?" Renaldo looked appalled.
"She was aiming for the men but it hit me instead." He put it simply now putting the glasses on the bridge of his strong nose and looked at the scarf in his hands. "Now Renaldo we should be headed back to the Vatican-Enrico will be expecting us."
"But Anderson…!"
Father Alexander Anderson looked at him with a stern look "Renaldo let us go back. I don't want to hear talk of this incident. I would rather much forget it." He stuffed the scarf into his pockets not sure what to do with the damn thing and turned to walk away. Renaldo fell in behind him still shocked and muttering about women dressing these days and being too informal with men.
Anderson ran a hand through his wet hair and sighed heavily. "Thank God, no one from the Vatican saw that. I would never hear the end of it."
….
Maggie ran back home, never looking back. If she had known Alexnader was a priest from the beginning she would have….She actually didn't know what she would do accept cry-cry a lot. Which she was going to be doing a lot of when she told her religious father what happened. As well as try explain to her papi she now needed to spend money on men's collared shirts in repentance for the destruction of the priest's clothes.
"Papi's going to kill me for sure! What is he going to say? I know I'm going to hell for that one and oh my gosh…!" Maggie stopped abruptly, as color continued to drain from her face and she slowly covered it with her hands. "I just touched a priest!"
...
Authors note: Yay! Awkward characters! How did you guys like it? How do you like Maggie? This story came somewhere in the deep recesses of my weird mind and the need to be written so-yep there it is! Might take it down for editing and fixing but for now enjoy this silly ditty.
