Disclaimer: It's not mine. None of it. *sobsobsob*

Also I have never written a Black Jewels fic before; so tell me if I screw it up.
No beta. All mistakes are mine.


Halfrek stills owes Anya one...or two...dozen. Okay, so she had a tendency to get into trouble and Anyanka had always been ready, willing, and able to take of the problem(s). Not to mention when they collaborated together for a wish. That had always been fun. But it did tend to gather up a bit of a debt to a person. When the person was now dead...well, under normal circumstances the debt would have transferred to the nearest blood-family member. ((Which had caused a lot of problems millennia ago, back when Vengeance Demons were encouraged to have a family. There were a couple of incidents where kin would arrange for the Wish Demon's death and be right beside the body when they died, thus gaining all the favors the demon had accrued over their career. One too many times, and the policies had changed.))

Anyanka had shown extremely good business sense while alive. The woman had loved money and knew how to handle it to make it grow. Deals and investments had added up to become over $500,000. All of it had gone to one Alexander LaVelle Harris. Even the debts owed her had gone to the man who had left her at the alter. Apparently, she really had loved the goofy male enough to forgive him.

Which made Hallie's job much harder. To repay her debt to Anya, she had to deal with Xander. Xander, the White Knight, the One Who Sees, and Homegrown Sunnydaler who knew better than to make "wish" statements. It had been so long that Hallie just kept a mental ear out for his voice as she went about her job.

And if Hallie was honest with herself, she was actually rather glad that Xander had absorbed Anya's marks. She owed the dead demon quite a bit, enough to give a real wish without the demonic bad-outcome consequences. Hallie was also the Vengeance Demon of Wronged Children...she had some experience with what an abused child would want and what they would need. Xander had most definitely been an abused child. So she already had a good idea of how to repay her debt.

Especially with how the "Scoobies" now treated their resident Zeppo. He had gone to Africa over three years ago to find and train new slayers that were popping up all over the place. In that time, he had found over 56 slayers over the dark continent, setting up safe houses and bases as he went. There were now approximately 20, each with two or three slayers, guarding their section of Africa from demons and the forces of darkness. That had been fifteen months ago...and he had still not been called back to his loved ones. They had forgotten him. And now that all of Africa knew about the slayer and how to find a safe house, Xander had made himself obsolete.

For almost a year and a half, the White Knight had continued to travel without purpose. He killed demons that threatened humans, set up treaties (or in some cases redrafted treaties) with the non-threatening demonic races, and escorted new slayers to the nearest New Watcher's Council base. But these things were few and far between. He would go weeks without seeing any sentient being, human or otherwise.

Xander was alone. He was lonely.

It was only a matter of time before Halfrek would have an opportunity to repay her debt.

*****

With the ease of long practice, Xander Harris broke camp. With his weapon's bag swung over one shoulder, an ax in his belt, food in various pockets, and a waterbottle on his hip, he set out once again across the wilderness preserve in Kenya. It was his favorite place in Africa with its animal life. The plant life was tolerable, especially in the rainy season. There was a large area that was infested with an aggressive thorn bush, but he tended to stay away from that region unless he had no choice. He had more than one scar just from those thorns.

He heaved a great sigh. Days tended to run together in the wild, but every time he passed by a safe house he checked. And if he had his days right, then today was his birthday. He was a grand 25 years old...and just like last year no one but he would remember. Oh, he kept track of the other's birthdays and always made sure to be at a safe house to call them on their special day. But on his own birthday, no one would call and unlike him they didn't need a phone. They had the ability to contact him no matter where he happened to be...but he hadn't even spoken to any of the others in about two years.

Xander sighed again.

His heart and mind burned with desire. Not the quick physical desire that he only occasionally indulged in, but the long-lasting emotional desire of a bond. His blood relatives had been deplorable and he hadn't shed a single tear at their deaths with the collapse of Sunnyhell. He thought his chosen-family were different...but they had forgotten him. Two years since speaking brought to light that simple fact. He was forgotten. He would settle for being useful, that would fill the void for a little while, but even that had become impossible.

A third sigh into the morning light.

Maybe they would remember today…

*****

Xander stared up at the night sky, majestically filled with stars, the Milky Way easy to see out on the sahara. With the Black Rhinos so close, he didn't chance a fire, but it was decently warm enough curled under his sturdy wool blanket.

It was past midnight. He had stayed up waiting for the second time for someone to remember his birthday and call.

His heart felt like it was a solid mass of rock in his chest, weighing him down to Earth away from the promise of the stars above him. There were some tribes who believed that when you died you went up into the heavens, into the stars, to join your ancestors. He wanted that dream. To join those who would care about him.

The desire was so strong that it had to be said aloud. A voice hoarse with dis-use, he told the stars what he wanted more than anything else. A heartfelt plea.

*****

Halfrek froze. Could it be? Finally, it seemed that she would be able to repay what she owed Anyanka, a millennia-old friend.

The spell she had placed on Xander to trigger if he ever gave voice to his wishes was ringing. In the next second, Hallie heard the desire and her heart softened eversoslightly. It was perfect. Vague enough that she could fulfill exactly what the boy needed, and didn't know he wanted.

"Please, whoever is listening...I know they don't grow on trees or anything, but maybe if you could just point me in the right direction? A place with people who love me. I just...I just wish I had a home."

Transporting herself instantly to Harris' side, much to his dawning horror, she smiled at him gently. "Oh, don't worry. This is going to be fantastic!" She paused, waiting for a response, but he just seemed resigned. "But, Anya's debt only goes so far for this one. Everything has a price. The transfer will be a bit uncomfortable, but the end result I think you will love!" He still seemed frozen in shock, so Hallie shrugged and snapped her fingers without further ado. Her debt paid, she went back to her interrupted job. There was a child in California who had made a wonderful wish of disownment.


[Black Jewels world-Kaeleer]

Xander felt as if he was falling, without the sensation of actually moving. Everything was blindingly white around him, a soft wind in his hair and across his skin. Soon, the white blended into a yellow, then a pinkish, followed by a purple hue… on and on through a rainbow of colors. Another thing was that as he journeyed down, he began to have a headache...and it kept getting worse the further he went. Time meant nothing in this black place, but the pressure in his head got to the point where he wanted to scream. That was when he discovered his inability to speak. He was in too much pain to panic.

After an indeterminate amount of time, the pressure on his mind became enough to threaten his sanity. More and more and more pressure until Xander thought he would break right in two or condense into a black hole. When he knew that even a drop further down into the blackness surrounding him would result in a Xander-shaped vegetable...it stopped.

The pain faded quickly and he got used to the pressure as if he was scuba diving. He was able to take a deep breath and look around. The color of the space he was in had stopped at an extremely dark grey, almost a black but not quite. But there was nothing in this dark-grey-ness but the color. He wasn't even wearing clothes, let alone have any of his supplies. Xander tried again to utter a sound, this time a question. To his surprise, he was able.

*Hello?* He called out into that dark-grey void. Nothing answered him.

*Hello! Anyone!* He turned on the spot, at least he assumed it was on the spot since he had no landmarks, searching for anything. Nothing.

One last time, he yelled out at the top of his lungs, as loud as he could. *HELLLLLOOOOO! ANYONE OUT THERE?!* The emptiness around him seemed to move toward him, closing him off from everything and everyone. Didn't Hallie say this was supposed to be fullfilling a debt? Did someone wish he was tortured or crazy? He sat down and curled up with his arms around his knees. He felt despair and wanted to cry. Ever since he had been 16 and fell for one particular girl, his life had gone from bad to worse with his chosen family the only light in the darkness. In the last two years, he had lost even them…and now this.

He just couldn't do this anymore. He didn't have anything left.

Everyone had their breaking point.

Xander had found his.

*Please? Anyone? Help me… Someone please help me…* he pleaded with the void.

At that precise moment, Xander felt a hand on his shoulder in a gentle caress. He jumped to his feet and spun to find...nothing. Great, he really was insane. He wanted contact so much that his mind created it for him. The hand came back, this time curling around his own right hand. But when he looked down, nothing was there. A ghost hand...couldn't he have imagined a whole person?

The phantom hand tugged at him and with no reason not to, he let his arm follow the pull until he had his arm was stretched as far as he could go. Then he went on tiptoes. *I can't go any farther, I'm not that tall!*
He had a sense of laughter and his left hand was grasped as well.

Between one timeless moment and another, he had both arms stretched over his head, and then he was hanging by them. He gave a scream of surprise and a little fear. That sense came back, this time with reassurance that this was the right thing to do. He could only watch as the colors around him began to reverse. Beginning with that dark-grey, he slowly ascended through a lighter grey, then a deep red followed by a dark blue...and on and on until he saw that blinding white get closer and then encompass him. But the ghost hands kept pulling him upward and Xander craned his neck to look upward.

Another timeless moment...he blinked. Trees. He was staring at trees.


Okay, what do you think? Should I keep going? Does anyone even read these books on this site?