God, as if he doesn't need another reason to hate himself.
Sam was homosexual. He knew this, he had known this for a long time. It didn't bother him all that much. No, he would be damned (even more than he already is) if he were to stand up on a table and announce it to the world, but that didn't mean it bothered him. That means he's not stupid.
He knew exactly how that would fair with the people of Boston. And he wasn't in a hurry to have him head beaten in just yet. So he kept it quiet. He went on about his business, he got married (he did love Abigail though, make no mistake in that) and never once did he let on that he was in love with a man. And not just any man either.
That arrogant, conceded, trying so hard to be British John Hancock. That brave, funny, cautious, genius John Hancock.
No, that's not why he hates himself though. Well, not one of the reasons that Sam hates himself. There were many reasons for this. He could even make a nice little list out of them.
Drunk, Abigail, their baby, Marcus, disappointment of a son, every solider who's about to die for his sense of fairness.
And most recently added, just how badly he wants to corrupt John Hancock.
He wants to corrupt him more than he wants a drink. He wants to cover the older man's lips with his until he finally shuts up. He wants to push him up against the wall and keep him pressed flushed against him and... He doesn't let himself think past that point because he's still scared he might do just that. But he can't. No matter how badly he wants to, no matter the things he would go through just for one kiss from him, he can't.
People like John, if there was anyone else like John, shouldn't go to hell. Especially not for people like Sam. He has excepted that they very well might be facing their own judgment days very soon and he is painfully aware that if they loose this war, if they are so much as caught, they will all hang; John included. But seeing as he has already damned John as far as life goes, he might as well save him for a damned afterlife. No matter just how badly he wants to corrupt him.
