"We have no leader, no numbers and now…no Chantry support. We aren't ready." I spoke as I regarded the mage in front of me. He looked no more than twenty and looked about skittishly, almost on the verge of tears. From the reports I got from my agents, he was a kind hearted mage who came to stop the Mage-Templar War but lost his brother in the madness wroth by the opening of The Breach.

"But we have no choice. We must act now- with you at our side." Cassandra affirmed and I saw Joshua wince slightly.

The Knight-Enchanter kept looking at his marked hand between questions he posed to Cassandra. He was fascinated by the Inquisition's formation and the reasons that Cassandra declared the rebirth of the Inquisition. However, he had a hard to read look in his green eyes. It reminded me of the look Wynne gave me when I found out about her…condition during the Blight.

Every now and then, Joshua would look back at the door and sigh as he returned his gaze to the writ on the war table, given to us by Divine Justinia V (Andraste rest her soul). He then looked at me with a rueful look.

"What if I refuse?"

The question caught me off guard but I maintained my composure as I adjusted my hood.

"You can go if you wish."

"You must know that while most see you as a savior for stopping the Breach from growing, others see you as the reason it exists. The Inquisition can protect you but only if you stay and help us. You will be alone out there." Cassandra shook her head and I saw the mage fidget with his armor. He looked at me, then at Cassandra as she extended her hand to him. He looked at her hand then shook his head.

"I came to be a voice of reason during the peace talks and this happens…" Josh pointed to his marked hand with an angry look as it sputtered out some green sparks. His eyes seethed with hate as he backed away from us towards the door. Then I saw the hatred subside into a look of dread as tears streamed down his cheeks. "Whatever you say I am- I am a failure. I-I am sorry but I cannot stay here. I did what I had to- now I must leave."

I felt the urge to comfort him and to tell him that we would help him through this dark time he was going through but he was too quick for me. He raced out of the Chantry as Cassandra and I followed suit. He bumped into Cullen; the Commander gave him a harsh look, making the mage buckle away as Josh looked at him flushed for a moment.

"What are you looking at?" Cullen growled as he looked Josh then at me but returned his gaze to the mage when he saw Josh cry out when his mark sprang to life.

Cassandra managed to catch hold of the mage's arm in that moment but he looked at Cullen in disbelief, then at Cassandra and me with the saddest look I had ever seen in my life while his mark flared up several times.

"I am so sorry Sir Knight! I didn't mean to-" Josh murmured as he fade cloaked out of the Seeker's grasp and simply vanished. "Please forgive me."

"Wasn't that the Herald?" Cullen looked at me with concern. "He…We should go after him!"

I nodded as I arranged for my agents to look for him while Cassandra and Josie kept Haven under control. Cullen got some of his soldiers to comb the area in case my agents were unable to find him. I prayed that the Maker would keep him safe. We needed him.

Solas looked at Cullen for the next few weeks with anger. The elf was a mystery but he was always cool-headed. It was weird for him to simply get angry with Cullen. From what I could tell, Cullen was on good terms with the fade expert so his behavior was…odd.

Josh was gone. He simply vanished. My agents had no luck tracking him and we resigned ourselves to deal with the Breach without his help. His sister, Alara soon arrived and was dumbstruck by the news of her brother's disappearance. She too, was marked by The Breach.

A month later after his departure, Alara looked at me with a knowing look as Cole rushed into the Chantry during the Elder One's assault. He apologized for being late as he needed to steal a trophy from Samson as proof. (Proof?) I saw Cullen noticeably cringe at mention of the addict's name.

The spirit gave Cullen a sorrowful glance as he handed the former-templar a bloodied sack. The Commander was disgusted by it at first and opted to toss it away until the spirit spoke and pointed to a soft green glow emitting from the sack. (No. Maker no…) Alara covered her eyes and moved away before she broke down. She stood facing the doors, her eyes welling up with tears as her hands shook uncontrollably while Solas held her tight in an embrace. He glared at Cullen then returned his gaze to the elf crying in his arms.

"He was sorry for bumping into you. He thought that you were too handsome to be real and that you needed to smile. Now he will never see it." Cole said in cold monotone. "Heart pounding, breathless, mind fogged from hunger- He found me! I need to run! I-"

"What?" Cullen looked at the forgotten boy with a raised blonde brow.

"It was like drowning- sounds everywhere, water filling you up until there's nothing left to fill. He saw your face, you were very angry when he saw you. I couldn't help him see your smile."

I moved closer as Cullen opened the sack and immediately dropped it to the ground with a sob. He ran for an urn and began to throw up. Cole shook his head in sorrow as he covered the severed hand with the sack.

Josie ran to assist Cullen while Alara, Solas and I moved to reinforce the Chantry for the assault to come with pews and barrels but I stood ready as the sounds of screams came closer and closer. Solas threw a barrier on us while I drew my bow and prayed for all of us. (Andraste save us…)

Once Cullen recovered, he told Josie to hide while he drew his sword and shield. He rushed the first wave of Red Templars that broke through and managed to fell a few between our arrows and his blade but the smell of burnt flesh and blood filled me when I saw Cassandra's lifeless eyes staring in the Chantry's direction amongst the bodies of the Inner Circle.

We were the last survivors of Haven and Joshua was dead. Soon everyone was dead.

We failed him. I should have forced him to stay, even if he hated us all for it, he would be alive. I should never have given him the chance to leave the Inquisition…

I failed him just as I failed Justinia V