I could never write songs. This almost fits the tune. Almost.

This had to be written…

7 Things

By Edward Elric

Ed walked in to Colonel Mustang's office, carrying a teddy bear. "Roy, I wrote a song for you based on '7 thing' by Miley Cyrus. It displays all my feelings for you. Do you wanna hear it?"

"Uh...Sure," Roy replied.

Ed smiled and threw the teddy bear out the window. He began to sing.

"I probably shouldn't say this

But at times I get so pissed

When I think about the constant

Relationshit we share

I hate you and you hate me,

And I know for sure it will not change,

Because you're a stupid bastard,

But now I have to make this clear so listen up, and hear...

The 7 things I hate about you

The 7 things I hate about you

Oh, you

You're stuck up,

You procrastinate,

You love her, but you're a man-whore

You call me short, even though I'm not

I don't know why girls think you're hot

Your friends, they're dumb

They follow your obsession with miniskirts

I really wish that you would go awaaaaaay...

And the 7th thing I hate the most about you

You are a bastard

It's not anywhere near silent

When I'm forced to talk to you

And I think you know why

I say those things to you

You are a jerk, you call me short

I've already said that you're a man-whore

Let's be clear

If I could ignore you forever

I sure as hell would

The 7 things I hate about you

Oh, you

You're stuck up,

You procrastinate,

You love her, but you're a man-whore

You call me short, even though I'm not

I don't know why girls think you're hot

Your friends, they're dumb

They follow your obsession with miniskirts

I really wish that you would go awaaaaaay...

And the 7th thing I hate the most about you

You are a bastard

And since I could get a court martial

Just for singing a song like this

I probably should mention

The 7 things I like

The 7 things I like about you

Nothing, Nothing, more Nothing

Some more Nothing on the side,

Don't you get that I hate you?

But I guess you don't because you're dumb

I like Nothing at all

About the way you are, just so you know

You're horrible, all the time

And the 7th thing I like the most that you do

Is Nothing at all."

He finished with great flourish, looking at Roy expectantly. "Well? What do you think?"

"Oh, Ed!" Roy exclaimed, tears in his eyes. "I feel the same way!"

I hope you RoyEd fans have realized Ed and Roy's true feelings, expressed by song. Farewell...


aniki_5- I doubt you are going to reread this, but in case you do, let me clear some things up:

"stop trolling. if you don't like RoyEd no one is forcing you to read fiction about said pairing. if you don't realize that a number of "fics" you wrote and labeled as RoyEd that are actually bashing the pairing and the fans who like it are very disturbing, it is time to give it a thought. thanks for your atention"

(By the way, aniki_5, if you hadn't reviewed anonymous, I wouldn't have to waste the time of other readers. When replying to reviews, I never get angry, so you have nothing to worry about in that respect)

Your argument isn't valid. I never said that anyone was forcing me to read RoyEd fanfics, thus, saying 'if you don't like RoyEd no one is forcing you to read fiction about said pairing' is useless, seeing as it's not countering any solid statement I've ever made. Also, nowhere in this fic/summary did I say 'this is RoyEd.' I did not label it 'Romance'- I labeled it 'Humor/Parody', which, in itself, should be enough indication that I'm not serious. While I'm not being forced to read RoyEd, you aren't being forced to read this, either. You're very welcome for my attention. I'd like my attention back now, thanks much.