I could never write songs. This almost fits the tune. Almost.
This had to be written…
7 Things
By Edward Elric
Ed walked in to Colonel Mustang's office, carrying a teddy bear. "Roy, I wrote a song for you based on '7 thing' by Miley Cyrus. It displays all my feelings for you. Do you wanna hear it?"
"Uh...Sure," Roy replied.
Ed smiled and threw the teddy bear out the window. He began to sing.
"I probably shouldn't say this
But at times I get so pissed
When I think about the constant
Relationshit we share
I hate you and you hate me,
And I know for sure it will not change,
Because you're a stupid bastard,
But now I have to make this clear so listen up, and hear...
The 7 things I hate about you
The 7 things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're stuck up,
You procrastinate,
You love her, but you're a man-whore
You call me short, even though I'm not
I don't know why girls think you're hot
Your friends, they're dumb
They follow your obsession with miniskirts
I really wish that you would go awaaaaaay...
And the 7th thing I hate the most about you
You are a bastard
It's not anywhere near silent
When I'm forced to talk to you
And I think you know why
I say those things to you
You are a jerk, you call me short
I've already said that you're a man-whore
Let's be clear
If I could ignore you forever
I sure as hell would
The 7 things I hate about you
Oh, you
You're stuck up,
You procrastinate,
You love her, but you're a man-whore
You call me short, even though I'm not
I don't know why girls think you're hot
Your friends, they're dumb
They follow your obsession with miniskirts
I really wish that you would go awaaaaaay...
And the 7th thing I hate the most about you
You are a bastard
And since I could get a court martial
Just for singing a song like this
I probably should mention
The 7 things I like
The 7 things I like about you
Nothing, Nothing, more Nothing
Some more Nothing on the side,
Don't you get that I hate you?
But I guess you don't because you're dumb
I like Nothing at all
About the way you are, just so you know
You're horrible, all the time
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do
Is Nothing at all."
He finished with great flourish, looking at Roy expectantly. "Well? What do you think?"
"Oh, Ed!" Roy exclaimed, tears in his eyes. "I feel the same way!"
I hope you RoyEd fans have realized Ed and Roy's true feelings, expressed by song. Farewell...
aniki_5- I doubt you are going to reread this, but in case you do, let me clear some things up:
"stop trolling. if you don't like RoyEd no one is forcing you to read fiction about said pairing. if you don't realize that a number of "fics" you wrote and labeled as RoyEd that are actually bashing the pairing and the fans who like it are very disturbing, it is time to give it a thought. thanks for your atention"
(By the way, aniki_5, if you hadn't reviewed anonymous, I wouldn't have to waste the time of other readers. When replying to reviews, I never get angry, so you have nothing to worry about in that respect)
Your argument isn't valid. I never said that anyone was forcing me to read RoyEd fanfics, thus, saying 'if you don't like RoyEd no one is forcing you to read fiction about said pairing' is useless, seeing as it's not countering any solid statement I've ever made. Also, nowhere in this fic/summary did I say 'this is RoyEd.' I did not label it 'Romance'- I labeled it 'Humor/Parody', which, in itself, should be enough indication that I'm not serious. While I'm not being forced to read RoyEd, you aren't being forced to read this, either. You're very welcome for my attention. I'd like my attention back now, thanks much.
