notes: i'm a despicable human being for writing this, i know. it was a coping method at the time. please enjoy this piece of angst i wrote at thirteen.
dedication: to gray's not-death.

disclaimer: own nothing
definition: requiem: 1. a mass for the dead. 2. a solemn chant (as a dirge) for the repose of the dead, etc. synonyms: dirge, elegy, lament, threnody.

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{It won't be whiskey, won't be meth, it'll be your name on my last breath}

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He didn't know when or where it went wrong. He didn't know how it had happened.

One moment, everything was fine.

And then she turned her full attention to Meredy.

Not that it was a bad thing, but it was in the middle of a battle. A grin pulled at his lips because it was just so like Juvia to do something like that. Stereotypical.

And he had pushed both girls out of the way and Lyon had scolded her. They were at war, after all. And when you're at war, you should never take your eyes off the enemy.

She had looked extremely sheepish then, but had still somehow managed to remain...well, Juvia. Going on about how he'd touched her butt, accidentally of course.

He had been serious then, and her eyes were sparkling.

"She's misreading where this is going..." he had heard Meredy say, voice filled with amusement.

Quite frankly, he had to agree with her.

Not that Juvia heard. And not that he did it verbally.

"It's not really that important..." he had told her.

But the smile on her face had been brighter than the sun.

"It could be important to Juvia!" she had replied cheerily.

And so, he decided he was finally going to tell her.

But it seemed as if fate had other plans.

"Juvia!" the man he saw as a brother had yelled.

And then he saw it.

The attack aimed straight at her.

He didn't even think. It had been more of a reflex, really. Pushing her out of harm's way, the way he had. He wanted to protect her, of course.

It went through his chest.

It had really hurt, he recalled. Like a burning pain, worse than Natsu's fire. Or at least what he had experienced.

And the there was another. And another. And another.

He lost track, honestly.

It burned. Everything burned.

The pain was unbelievable.

Damn those dragon demon spawn were creepy.

If you had told him that morning that he was going to die later in the day, that it would be his last day on Earthland, he probably wouldn't have believed you.

And yet, fate was cruel.

He had regrets, sure. Lots of them.

He regretted not teasing Lucy about her rather curious relationship with a certain Dragon Slayer. Because come on, there was definitely something there.

He regretted not punching said flame-brain harder and more often.

He regretted not helping Mira set up aforementioned idiot and girl.

He regretted that he wouldn't be able to be there for Lyon's wedding to whoever the hell he got married to in the future.

He regretted that he wouldn't be able to see the smile on Erza's face when she and Jellal would finally get together.

He regretted that he wouldn't be able to see the look of happiness on Levy's face when Gajeel finally confessed to her.

And most of all, he regretted not telling Juvia how he felt.

He wasn't quite sure when, but he'd fallen for the water mage somewhere along the way, and he couldn't imagine his life without her.

Was this how Ur felt when she saved Lyon and himself?

He didn't really want to die yet. There were still lots of things he wanted to do. And he had thought about what life would be like with Juvia...

Words could not express how pissed he was at fate right now.

He had just wanted to tell her. Confess. Get it off his damn chest.

Three simple words.

I. Love. You.

But no.

Of course not.

It was almost funny, in a twisted way.

He really, really hated fate.

A lot.

If he survived this, which he highly doubted he would, he had a word or two for the stupid thing. Not that it would matter of course. Hell, he wasn't even sure if he even believed in it. Was this some sort of twisted payback? Not that it would even matter, of course.

Well, this wasn't really how he wanted to go out.

He had always imagined that he would die at a ripe old age or some stereotypical shit like that.

As if.

He was a member of the wildest most destructive guild in Fiore.

But a guy could dream, couldn't he?

Maybe he would've gone out with a bang after becoming the best ice mage in Fiore.

That would have been nice.

But he couldn't really complain.

Because he had protected the one most precious to him.

Yeah, it sure was still a damn good way to go.

Hopefully Erza would tell her, after he was gone. He really regretted that it couldn't have been his own confession though.

And people would say,

"Gray Fullbuster. He loved a girl."

It was his requiem.

A smirk pulled at his bloodied lips as he closed his eyes one last time.

A damn good requiem.