Starfire's Discovery

A Humorous Teen Titans fic

Lady Wolfy

One beautiful morning in Jump City, when the sky was going from it's ripe pink to a perfect blue, a certain Tamaran was just awakening. She smiled warmly as soon as she opened her wet emerald eyes, pushing off her thin purple blanket and jumping to her feet.

"Oh what a glorious day!" she beamed at her mutated insect pet, Silkie, who was smiling up at her from his place near the window. "Good morning, Silkie," she added sweetly. He wiggled appreciatively. Starfire skipped over to her closet, still beaming like crazy, and flung open the door to reveal several dozen identical purple outfits, all of which contained a purple skirt, top, and boots. She pulled one off the rack and rushed to her bathroom, giggling happily.

Meanwhile, out in the kitchen, the other Titans were already awake. None of them were quite as exuberant as Starfire; but then again, they never were.

"So then, when I reached the control station," Beast Boy was saying, "Killer moth was there, wearing this orange dress my grandma use to wear! So I transformed into a dodo bird and-"

"Beast Boy," Raven hissed threateningly. "Shut UP." The spoon in her herbal tea rose out of its cup, surrounded by dark magic, and slowly began to bend itself. Raven was glaring at the opposite wall, entirely unaware.

"But my dream-" Beast Boy stammered, eyes wide and hurt, but a look from Robin told him that he better keep his green lips shut. Robin stirred his oatmeal, an annoyed expression on his face. Cyborg was digging through the fridge, throwing random pieces of food over his shoulder.

Just then, Starfire flew in, smiling still.

"Greetings friends! Is it not the most glorious day that this warm planet has ever witnessed?" Raven gave her a disgusted look and Beast Boy shrugged. Robin, having a soft spot for Starfire, turned in his seat and smiled back, though not as enthusiastically.

"Yeah, it's a great day Star. Why don't you sit down and have some oatmeal?" Starfire's smile was immediately replaced by a grimace.

"I prefer not to consume the meal of oats, though I thank you for the kind offer." Starfire floated over to the island, staring down at Robin's lumpy breakfast.

"Better than that nasty alien food," Beast Boy muttered into his tofu breakfast. Robin kicked him, which proceeded with a loud 'OW!' and another glare from Raven, who was not a morning person. Starfire, unhurt, floated over to where Cyborg was standing, patiently waiting for him to move.

Beast Boy stood up from his stool, walking over to the kitchen sink and adding his bowl and spoon to the already monstrous pile of dishes. Hey, they were the Teen Titans after all.

"I think I'm going to go read my, uhh, nature magazines now," Beast Boy said, hands on his hips as he grinned unashamedly. Raven's cheeks flushed delicately and Cyborg smirked. Starfire was grabbing the mustard, not understanding.

"Nature magazines? Do you not already know all there is to know about nature? Can you not transform into any animal you wish to become?" she questioned, opening her mouth and inserting about a galleon of mustard. She swallowed it whole before looking at Beast Boy quizzically. Her eating habits were quite bizarre, and none of the Titans ever really got use to them.

"Oh my naive Starfire, nature never gets dull," Beast Boy said grandly, putting a lot of unnecessary emphasis on the word 'never.' Robin glared at him.

"That's enough Beast Boy." Robin pointedly looked at Starfire. "Some of us don't know a lot about... uh... nature magazines." Beast Boy shrugged and spun on his heel wildly before turning into a monkey and running to his room. Starfire's eyes followed him out.

"I have never studied a magazine of nature. Perhaps I should?"

"Star," Robin murmured into his palm, closing his eyes and sighing.

XxX

Starfire, being the very determined Tamaran that she was, didn't give up the 'nature magazine' thing as easily as Robin would have preferred. Instead, she snuck into Beast Boy's room when they were all training, looking very guilty about it.

Beast Boy's room was in its normal state. Cans of soda, candy bar wrappers, and various items that belonged in a garbage can littered his floor. It was so terrible that you couldn't even see the rug; (Starfire was positive it was covered in stains, though.) On the walls there were numerous posters of animals, and some cutouts from comic books. Brown gunk was dripping down from the ceiling in a corner, and Star avoided that area knowingly. She waded through the mess, wondering how she was ever going to find the magazines of nature.

She finally stopped and sat down on his bed, limiting herself to searching that area. Many magazines in plastic wrapping were there. Feeling victorious, Starfire opened one, a cheerful and innocent expression on her face.

Which was immediately replaced by a look of absolute horror. Her pupils shrunk down to the size of a pencil tip, and her lips formed the most horrible grimace. The magazine disintegrated in her hand as soon as this expression formed, which was followed by a bloodcurdling scream.

The other Titans were in the doorway about three seconds later, all in their battle positions. They immediately froze upon seeing Starfire on Beast Boy's bed, their eyes weary. Especially Beast Boy's.

"N-n-nature m-magazines?!" she demanded, rising from the bed and pointing at Beast Boy. "NATURE?!" Beast Boy backed away as Starfire's eyes took on a new shade of green. She stalked forward, green starbolts appearing in her hands.

"But - its natural," was the last thing he was able to say.

And as she screeched various Tamaran insults and words none of them understood, chasing him down the road as he ran, Robin, Raven, and Cyborg fell over into the hallway, clutching their sides, laughing uproaringly.

XxXxXxX

To be perfectly honest, I posted this because I have too many Teen Titans fics saved on my computer that need to either be posted or deleted. This one I decided was suitable for the public :)

Review please!!!

-LW