"We saw another circling on the main road today. I wouldn't think anything of it but, be aware" Jeb warned in the dining hall. I was staring at the rocky floor next to Melanie, my back was against the wall. Of course they were looking again. They always did every time a soul goes missing. And recently they've been looking more frequently and closer to home. My home I thought. I've finally made a place here that I can truly call home and yet they're still making me anxious that one day it will be discovered. Even after I saved my seeker and sent her away, people were looking again. It was probably three months later when we took sunlight within that they began looking here again. Even though our efforts failed and the body refused to awake after the soul was removed. I sent the poor soul to the flower planet, where it would have time to process what had happened to him.
And then there was Ian. I never thought that I could love another species or even person so much in all of my lives. That night where I thought I would have been dead without saying goodbye to him haunted me now, but only as if it were a dark nightmare. I'm always with Ian as much as possible because I never really know how much time we have.
I've been worried about Ian lately. He's been having recurring nightmares almost every night about the humans never waking up, or seekers finding us. Sometimes he screams in his sleep and I'm the one that has to wake him up to comfort him.
One night a couple weeks ago, he fell asleep before me. I was watching the three little stars in the cracks of the ceiling and focussing on the slight breeze it gave, when I noticed tears were rolling down his cheek.
"Ian? Ian are you okay?" I whispered to him as softly as I could. His eyes remained closed but he answered honestly to me.
"Just had a bad dream, that's all"
"do you want to tell me what it is?" I stared at his pain filled face until he opened his eyes and stared at mine for a second. He almost surprised me when he began speaking,
"I was with you in the dining hall. We were laughing with Jamie, Jared and Melanie, we were talking about how tall Jamie has gotten, and then it was like.. everyone was gone. One second you were in my arms, and the next I couldn't find you. I walked all around the caves searching every room. Once I finally stepped into docs office..." he paused and another tear rolled down his cheek. I pulled my hand to his face and wiped it away with my thumb. "everyone. They were all dead. One giant pile of dead bodies. You were on your knees, sobbing and yet at peace with death. As soon as glanced up at me, a seeker pulled the trigger on the gun and..." I could feel every once of pain within his voice. I instantly couldn't stand here and watch him suffer. I threw my arms around his neck and hugged him as tight as I could. He reciprocated and we sat there in silence for what could have been hours.
"I'm never going to leave you, Ian" I promised not only to him but to myself. Nothing in this world could break me apart from him. "Even if seekers come, I'm never going to let them hurt you" He let go of me just enough so that I was inches away from him.
"It wasn't me who I was concerned about" I smiled to myself " I'm never going to let them take us apart" he vowed. He kissed me so softly at first but then, as if we couldn't help it, it began to intensify until it was like I couldn't control myself anymore. He rolled over so I was straddling him, I continued to kiss him while my hair flowed to the left side,brushing down to the mattress on the side of his cheek. Both his hands were on my waist, tugging me down as close as I could to him. I kissed him with all of the passion I had. He slid his hands under my shirt and against my back. I put my elbows on the bed and got even closer to him. Then he pulled away a bit, breaking the kiss. "you had a long day, you should get some rest" he gasped, breathless. Feeling a little confused and hurt, I nodded my head and got off of him. I rolled so that I was as far as the small mattress would take me, then I turned facing the opposite direction. I couldn't make eye contact with him. I heard a sigh, but I didn't make any movements. Even though I could feel his eyes on the back of my head I ignored them and silent tears fell streaming down into my hair as I fell into a restless sleep. I woke up before him as usual, and tried my best not to be around him as much as possible. Sadly for me, I'm always with Ian almost every second of the day. So when I tried to back away from him in the first hour, he saw what I was doing and let me have my space. I don't know if it helped me or if it made me even more sad because of how little he tried to talk to me. So for the rest of the time, I was with jamie spending some quality time with him. Why did he stop me last night? I thought that he would have wanted it even more than I had? So many questions roared through my head and I was glad that I didn't have to share my embarrassment anymore. Even though I kinda miss that voice in the back of my head telling me what to do.
It was the end of the day and I was cleaning up alone in the dining hall. I was putting away the last plate when I looked up and saw a familiar face.
"Can we talk?" Ian asked, leaning against the wall. I slowly nodded my head as I set the plate down against the rough counter. "not here" he whispered, taking my hand in his and guiding me down the dark pathway to our room.
When we got there, the room was black except for the cracks in the ceiling that revealed the moonlight. I could see his face but nothing around him. We were utterly alone and most of me liked that except that I had no idea where this conversation was going.
"about last night..." he began. He looked down at the floor almost as if it was troubling him more than me to talk about this. "I'm just..sorry about everything. I didn't mean to hurt you" He looked me in the eyes. I couldn't meet his glare. How could he say that to me? After shutting me out like that?
"I wasn't hurt" I spit back. He was confused at my tone.
"It just seemed as though-,"
"Everything doesn't revolve around you" I glare at him now, but immediately I wish I could have taken it back. I could tell that my hurtful words affected him and yet I just kept going. He looked down again, taking a step back. "I'm sorry" I whisper. Admitting anything so vulnerable was always hard for me. "I - I was hurt" Ian grinned just the tiniest bit. "does that amuse you?"
"No, but I do think it's funny how hard it is for you to admit you're wrong. And the strange thing is that I actually believed you. Looks like you're lying is enhancing with time" I smile but I don't want to be happy now. I need an explanation.
"Why did you turn me down last night?" I ask when it went silent. He looks at the wall then back at me. Then he takes my hands in his and stares right into my eyes.
"I was concerned about what it may do to us. To you... It just seems like we shouldn't be rushing into things right now. Not with the war going on and the human race being hunted as we speak"
I held his hands tighter in mine. I got closer so that I was inches away from him. Then I repeated the words I saw in my memory so many times with Melanie. "You never know how much time you have. We could be taken at any moment"
He whispered to me even though there was no one else that could possibly hear us, "I could be taken at any moment. They wouldn't kill you"
"But I would kill myself" I whispered back. He was taken aback by my confidence.
"No. You couldn't do that to yourself. I would rather give myself up to them before you could ever be taken from me. And if theres ever a day when I can't be with you, I would find you and bring you back" A lone tear streaked my face.
"Why would you risk your life for mine?" I asked. He wiped away my tear and cupped my face.
"Because I love you, and we were meant to be together until the day I die" pain ran through me. Yes he was one day going to die, and I would be right beside him. I know that I'm never going to leave this planet, and never this body again.
"There's such little time" I wonder aloud. "I've lived for thousands of years and time never seemed to mattered to me, but now it seems as though it's the only thing nagging at me until one day we're both in shallow graves in the desert next to our closest friends"
"No Wanda, don't you see? Your not meant to die. You can live forever. If that's my last wish then so be it. You have to live without me"
"But I can't do that!" I yelled, stepping away from him. I turn around and put my hands on my head. How can't he see that no matter what he does, I'm going to be next to him for the rest of time. I turn back around, ready to convince the man I love. "This is the only place where nothing and everything makes sense to me and it's where I belong. I want to be with you when it happens. To Both of us"
He looks frustrated. As if he wants to scream at me but knows that it wouldn't make a difference. Ian's not the angry kind of person but I could tell that I've set him off a bit. Instead of screaming at me the way I thought he would, he sighed and came right up to me. Closing the gap between us.
"I'm never going to win that fight am I?" he whispered. I shake my head back and forth. "then theres one thing I need you to do for me if you want it to go your way" confusion ran through my brain. This is one of those times I wish I had someone else there with me to help figure it out. He leaned in and kissed me softer than he ever has before. A spark ran through me that surprises me every time. The lava sinks through my body melting me in his arms. Before I've even started to have enough, he leans away.
"Do you agree?"
"I don't know what it is yet"
"Please Wanda. Can you agree to my terms if I agree to yours?" I thought for a moment. No matter what I was going to die next to him and there was nothing he could do to stop me. But all I wanted at that moment was to see him happy.
"I agree" I whispered, leaning closer. But before he kissed me again he turned so he was whispering in my ear.
"Marry me" it wasn't a question. It was his side of the terms. If I were to die by his side, I was going to marry him first. An alien soul and a human being, married. I never heard of such a crazy thing in all of my ten lives. But for one thing we were unique. It was something that never should happen and is never going to be right with the souls or humans. But that didn't bother me. It was like I didn't care about what everyone thought of the disaster that is my love life. I love Ian. And I want this. I tilt my head so now I'm whispering in his ear. My heart pounds as I answer.
"Yes. I agree" I can feel him smiling. He pulls me away so that I was face to face to him. He gets closer and this time it wasn't like the soft sweet kiss before. It was full of passion and intensity. Almost as if it were driving us crazy that we couldn't have more. And I wanted more. He stopped before it got too out of control. He pulled away so our foreheads were touching. "I love you so much" I breathe. He smiles even wider
"There are no words to describe how much I love you" feeling touched, I smile and kiss him again. We spent the rest of the night talking and laughing about the future. By the end of the night, I fell asleep in his arms.
I woke up differently than I used to. I woke up knowing that no matter what, I was going to live the rest of my life with Ian. And even though I was utterly scared of dying, I knew that I wouldn't be afraid when the time came. Ian was still sleeping as usual. He was one of the last people to wake up in the morning. I snuck out of the room and crossed into the hallway. I needed some time to think. I went down to the big opening in the field and sat there for a few minutes. Just wondering what I was getting myself into, and what this meant for my future. While I thought to myself in utter silence, I heard a high pitched scream.
"Help, I have done it again,
I, have been here many times before
Hurt myself again, today
And, the worst part is there's no one else to blame" -Breathe me, Sia
Chapter one... What do you guys think? Review please! thx xoxoxo
