'You need to stop moping around so much,' Molly tells her one day with what she thinks is kindly sisterly advice. 'Find yourself a boyfriend or something. You've been looking so miserable lately.'
She wishes she could tell her to shut up and that she doesn't know what she is talking about. She wishes she could tell her that it's all her fault that she is miserable. Molly is the perfect one, the one who gets everything she wants. She is beautiful with strawberry blonde curls and big blue eyes. She always gets top grades and she is adored by everyone. She knows that it isn't Molly's fault that she is the favourite one even her parent's favourite child and she knows that Molly would do anything for her. She can't help feeling a little bitter though. Molly is perfect so why would anyone need her, Molly Weasley's little sister? She hates being that girl. She hates living in Molly's shadow but there isn't much she can do about it. She wishes there was something about her that was different from Molly but there isn't. They have the same strawberry blonde hair and big blue eyes except Molly's hair is just that bit shinier and her eyes are just that bit bluer. They both get good grades but everyone expects her to because she is Molly Weasley's little sister. Everyone expects her to become a prefect and Head Girl. They expect her to make people laugh and to be able to be cheeky to teachers without getting into trouble because the teachers adore her. She isn't Molly though. She is Lucy and that's the only person she wants to be. She can't though because her parents expect her to be like Molly because Molly is the perfect one. She needs to get good grades and smile and pretend that she is happy all the time, happy being second best. She would rather dance by herself as if nobody is watching, skip down the corridors as though she was a little girl and to sing no matter who can hear her. She wants to laugh until her sides burst and she wants to be Lucy, not Lucy, Molly's little sister.
Her cousin Lily understands, of course. As the youngest of all the Weasley girls Lucy knows that Lily feels like she's overlooked and that is how Lucy feels. She is supposed to be just like Molly and she is sick of it. She is sick of pretending like everything is all right and that she is happy to be put in second place. She wants to do something for once that isn't like Molly. She doesn't want to be Molly, she wants to be Lucy. She wants to do things that Molly would never do. So she goes out of her way to flirt with boys and is straightforward in her intentions. Molly doesn't do that. Molly is always the princess. She might hold a boy's eye a little too long or give him a smile but she would never flirt directly with a boy. Lucy does though if it means she is somewhat different from Molly. She does do it because it makes people look at her and think that's Lucy Weasley and that is all she wants. She wants to be Lucy, not Molly.
So she leaves the Gryffindor common room and her big sister behind feeling miserable as usual. She knows that Molly only wants what is best for her but how couldn't she see that she was the favourite? How could she not see that mum and dad preferred her out of the both of them? Or maybe Molly felt that Lucy constantly copied her and that she couldn't be her own person with her little sister being so similar to her? Lucy knew that wasn't the case. Molly had a perfect life and Lucy has to admit she isn't as bad off as some people but she still lives in her sister's shadow, the reject.
Lucy knows she needs to stop thinking this way or she will end up a bitter kind of person. She doesn't want to be like that. She wants to be strong and beautiful and brave. She wants to smile and to actually be happy not just pretending that she is. She doesn't know why she can't do it though. She doesn't know why she can't smile and actually be happy. Is she already damned to life of jealousy and bitterness? She hopes not. She doesn't want to be the girl that never finds happiness because she is so busy being jealous of her big sister's popularity. There were a lot of things Lucy wished for but mostly she just wants to be happy, really, genuinely happy.
She rounds the corner lost in her thoughts and bumps straight into someone. She falls backwards and she knows that it's going to hurt when she lands on the floor but a hand catches her arm. It pulls her forward until she is no longer falling but now wrapped in a stranger's arms. Her head rests on his chest as she catches her breath and she can hear the beat of his heart. She feels terribly embarrassed as she takes a step back and looks up into blue eyes under messy blond hair. She knows this person but the name just isn't coming to her as she takes another step back to look at him properly. He is tall with broad shoulders and his hands are stuffed in his pockets as he smiles at her warmly.
'Hey Lorcan,' she says eventually his name rolling off the tip of her tongue with ease as though she has never had a mental block.
'For a moment there I thought you were going to call me Lysander,' he responds with a smile.
She laughs a little because people always mix him up with his twin but she doesn't see how that can happen. They are so different after all even though they look alike. Lorcan isn't as tall as Lysander the way that Lysander isn't as broad as Lorcan. Sure they both have blond hair but Lorcan's lighter and his smile is somehow sweeter. The biggest difference between them being that Lorcan is kind, friendly and sometimes a little away with the faeries where Lysander is dark, violent and unpredictable.
'I don't know how people can mix you two up,' she tells him with a broad smile. It was strange how she suddenly felt so much better than she had just two minutes before. 'It's very easy to tell the difference between you.'
'Well we are our own person,' Lorcan says with a grin. 'So where were you off to looking so miserable?'
She shrugs.
'Nowhere in particular,' she tells him unwilling to talk about how she was feeling living under Molly's shadow.
'Nowhere in particular,' he repeats. 'Funny I've always wanted to go there.'
That makes her laugh her face creasing up. She has always found Lorcan funny. Sure he takes after his mother what with his Nargles and silly conspiracy theories but he made her laugh, made her forget her problems. She didn't like that some of the students picked on him so much and stole his things to hide them. She didn't understand why people had to be cruel like that. Lorcan didn't seem to mind though and took it all in good fun which she suspected often irritated those who were trying to be horrible to him.
'Do you want to come with me then?' she asks him when she is finished laughing.
'Sure.'
He falls into step beside her as they wander along the corridor together in a comfortable silence. She likes spending time with Lorcan because he is easy to be with. He doesn't prod her with questions to find out why she is upset or deliberately try and distract her from how she is feeling. He's just there and he keeps silent as though waiting for her to make up her mind on whether she wants to talk about her problems or whether she just wants to change the subject completely.
'Do you think Molly is pretty?' she asks him out of the blue before she has even realised that she wants to talk about how she is feeling.
Lorcan stops in the middle of the corridor and turns to look down at her. She looks back at him her arms folded across her chest as though to shield herself from his reaction. He looks at her as though he is considering his answer and whether or not it will be the answer she wants him to give her.
'Of course Molly is pretty,' he tells her in a gentle voice. 'Anyone who doesn't think so is probably a fool. Why are you asking me though?'
She shrugs again. That wasn't the answer that she wanted to hear. She just wants one person to think that Molly isn't all that. She thought Lorcan would have been that person. He is unlike the rest of the students and he doesn't think the same way that they do.
'I was just wondering,' she replies casting her eyes down at her shoes. She feels his hand on her chin pulling it upwards so that her eyes meet his gaze. The intensity in his gaze frightens her and makes her want to pull away from him but she finds that she can't so she just stares back at him cringing slightly at what he might be thinking.
'Why do I get the feeling that is not the answer you wanted?' he asked her.
'Everybody thinks Molly is beautiful,' she says trying hard to keep the bitter tone out of her voice. 'Everybody thinks Molly is perfect and I just thought it there was one person other than myself who didn't think that Molly was the world then I wouldn't have become the jealous little sister.'
He smiles at that and lets go of her chin pulling himself back up to his full height. She looks up at him feeling quite embarrassed again. She was sure that he now thought she was jealous and bitter. He begins to walk down the corridor looking like he is deep and thought and for some reason, unknown to herself, she walks with him watching him, waiting for him to saying something. She is scared about what he might say. She is afraid that he will tell her to get a grip and stop moaning about her sister. She knows that he would be right to say those things but it would hurt her none the less.
'If you don't think that Molly's the world,' he says eventually, 'then why do you constantly act like her?'
That stops her in her tracks. He talks another step and then turns to face her, his brow creased into a puzzled frown as he considers her. She doesn't know quite where to begin or even quite how to say it.
'I love my sister,' she begins in a quiet voice, 'don't get me wrong and I know that she would do anything for me but everyone loves Molly. She is the perfect child, my mum and dad's favourite child. She's beautiful, intelligent with good grades and everyone hanging on her every word. Now she's Head Girl and mum and dad are so proud that she wants to work in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Everyone expects me to be like Molly. My mum and dad want me to be like Molly. They want me to get the same brilliant grades and to get a job in the Ministry in either the Department of Magical Law Enforcement or the Department of International Magical Cooperation. I'm sick of being Molly's little sister. I just want to be Lucy. I want to be a Hogwarts Professor, I want to not have to study every waking minute of the day and I want people to accept me for me and not because I'm Molly's little sister.'
Lorcan just keeps looking at her making her feel rather uncomfortable having just told him all of that. She pulls her arms tighter to her chest as though she can protect herself better from the backlash that is about to ensue.
'I accept you as Lucy,' he says to her in the same gentle tone.
She smiles at him a little relaxing her arms when she realises that he doesn't think she is bitter or jealous.
'Listen,' he says grabbing her hands suddenly and pulling her towards him, 'stop doing what people expect you to do. Do things because you want to do them, dance, laugh, skip, sing. You used to do all those things before you started here at Hogwarts but you don't anymore and I miss the Lucy that would start dancing in the garden even when there was no music or who would laugh until she cried. Don't be Molly, be Lucy.'
He pulls her tight against him then enveloping her in a cuddle and she feels as though she is floating on air. She can't believe that he understands how she feels or that he remembers how she used to be when they were children. She responds to his cuddle by wrapping her arms tight around his waist and giving him a squeeze. The cuddle feels right to her. She fits just directly under his chin. He lets go of her for a moment and looks down at her.
'You need to stop thinking you're a second class citizen next to her,' he says softly. 'She is lovely but you, Lucy, you are beautiful.'
She can feel the tears pricking at the corner of her eyes as he closes the gap between them and kisses her gently on the mouth. She kisses him back with the same tenderness and she almost can't believe she is doing this. She is kissing Lorcan Scamander. She would never have thought it. He breaks the kiss then and pulls her tight to his chest again. She can feel his breath uneven on her ear.
'Lucy,' he whispers sweetly, 'you are my kind of perfect.'
My first attempt at Lucy/Lorcan.
I hope you liked it.
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Your feedback only makes me better.
It only makes me write faster too.
Kerr X.
