A/N: You are about to witness some exceptional detective work from Levy McGarden. Prepare yourself.
Talk about a boring weekend. Homework: done. Chores: done, twice (college parties are such a mess, especially when you're not one of the people having fun). Not enough money to buy some quality literature. What a drag. The bored floppy noodles Levy had for legs almost gave out as she slouched against the wall, grunting in pathetic agony alone in her small apartment. Knowing that sulking wasn't going to help her, she stuck her phone out of her pocket and gave a quick look to her contact list, and, in the end, after long seconds of difficult thinking, unsurprisingly opted for the usual plan.
Spare key in hand, she stretched the soreness out of her back and trudged up the stairs, hoping that her last chance of escaping boredom was as bored she was. Levy held out the two hairpins she had gotten out of her hair earlier, fiddled about with the lock of the door and managed to open it in a matter of seconds. She smirked at how fast she became at this as time went by.
"Luuuucy," she meowed as she casually flung her shoes off her feet.
Levy was met with seconds of silence, which didn't bother her since her previous hours of lonesome boredom accustomed her to the quietness of an empty room. She stepped in the living room thinking that Lucy would be back soon. It wasn't like she could be far away on a Sunday afternoon.
The aspiring writer's living room was unexpectedly tidy, so finding a ripped-off piece of paper on the coffee table sure was odd. She knelt down and recognised her neat handwriting.
Hey, intruder. I'm guessing it's Gray… or Erza. Or Levy. Or Cana. Or whoever really, who even cares at this point? You all seem to have a 'spare key'. Anyway, I went out to meet somebody. There's some leftover in the fridge if you're hungry. Don't break anything. Actually, don't do anything I wouldn't do in this place. And when I say 'place', I mean the whole apartment, not just the living room. Don't try to be clever. Anyway, too long of a note, I should cut it out right n-
Levy didn't even chuckle at the voluntarily abrupt ending of this note, she was too busy staring at the most important sentence of this meaningless monologue.
I went out to meet somebody.
How? Why? She's known Lucy for a long time, she knew that she didn't normally go out on Sundays (she would usually find her trying to overcome writer's block), and if she were to go out, it wouldn't be with somebody.
I went out to meet somebody.
"She might as well scream 'HEY, I went out on a DATE with my UNMENTIONED BOYFRIEND!'"
The blood red alert alarm rang in her paranoid mind as the prospect of Lucy having a boyfriend she knew nothing about hit her. She whirled around and dropped the note, and before it could even graze the carpet, she had slammed the door shut and dashed out of Lucy's place. Her bored state of mind had vanished to make room for her ever so alert and powerful alter ego: MOM FRIEND™ Levy McGarden. When she noticed the personality shift – meaning that when she was already out of Lucy's building – she stopped.
Much to Lucy's and her own chagrin, being three years older than Lucy and being her beta-reader for a few years now, she grew to feel like her mentor, someone who has to look after her in moments of need. Like this one, apparently. And this kind of moment always led her to some inner conflict that always ended up the same way, but she unconsciously gave it a try anyway.
Seriously? she thought. What am I doing? I'm not going to stop her date! Why do I have to be such an overprotective mum?!
Voice of Overworking Imagination: Listen. Crazy things happen out there. What if the guy happens to be a serial killer? What if he's the Zodiac killer?! This Teddy's still on the loose!
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: Really? The Zodiac killer? And who's Ted-
Voice of Overworking Imagination: Who cares?! This situation is dangerous and we don't know what could happen!
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: She's 16! There's nothing wrong with her engaging in some harmless fun with a guy. She's a teenager, those things are bound to happen. Lucy's a clever girl and she is resourceful enough to defend herself if needed.
Voice of Overworking Imagination: Buuuut what iiiiiif…
Referee: What an unbeatable argument made by Overworking Imagination!
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense:...We need to talk.
The park was the perfect spot for a first (or maybe a fourth UNMENTIONED) date. The scent of flowers perfuming every steps passersby made towards them. The jovial sounds children made as they threw flying discs at each other. People reading their newest purchased book by the shade of a tree. Couples lying down on a blanket, sunbathing and chatting. Truly, the park was a safe and peaceful place for a date. However, one person stood out in this heavenly place. With sunglasses, a long brown coat and a hat, 'suspicious' wasn't striking enough of a word to describe this person. And let's not even talk about the blue hair sticking out of the hat like a shonen manga main character trying to blend in the real human world.
Guess who.
The tiny private detective that Levy was seemed to use her sunglasses more like binoculars than actual glasses that protected her eyes from the sun. Adding to her already suspicious look, she had taken some bread crumbs with her so she could throw them from the bench she was sitting on, making pigeons gather around her, which gave her an even more ominous presence. Well, as ominous a presence as a tiny, blue-haired, detective-looking girl surrounded by loud and hungry pigeons can have.
Stealth was not her forte.
An hour went by and still no 'boyfriend' or under-age and familiar blonde girl in sight. She started to lose all hopes of finding Lucy here, thinking that she went somewhere less cliché for her first date. However, as she stood up to exit the park, leaving all of her pigeon friends behind, she gasped and quickly hid behind the nearest bushes.
"Here they are," Levy muttered, eyeing them from behind the bushes.
She could hardly make out who this new 'boyfriend' was as he walked beside her adopted child, also known as Lucy Heartfilia. The boy didn't seem to wear anything fancy for a first date, just a t-shirt and shorts… and a scarf, in summer.
"This boy is weird," she noticed.
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: Says the one hiding behind bushes.
Referee: Touché!
"Shut up, me," Levy said under her breath.
The next thing that struck her as she examined this specimen of a boy was his hair.
"Pink? Really?"
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: Erza's is red. Yours is blue. Colours are a thing. Build a bridge and get over it.
Referee: Damn girl, you're on a roll!
"If you don't shut up I swear to g-"
Voice of Overworking Imagination: Look! He's smiling! A chill ran down my spine the moment I saw his smile. Such harmful intention behind this grin. I can feel it. It's cold, menacing, dangerous… but so tantalizing. What is it? I can't stop looking. It hurts. It hurts so bad. It's piercing right through me.
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: What's piercing right through you are the thorns of the bushes on the back of your hand.
"I said shut u- Ouch!"
The pain was so abrupt that she didn't have time to cover her mouth with her hands, and the boy snapped his head around to look at where the shout came from. Hidden by the bushes, he couldn't see any suspicious blue-haired girl who had been trying to spy on them for about an hour, but she could see him. Her jaw dropped.
Natsu Dragneel?!
Levy certainly didn't expect him to be the mysterious somebody Lucy was meeting.
She pulled out the dusty mental file she had on Natsu Dragneel. She had seen him once before but she couldn't remember where and in what circumstances, but she knew she hadn't talked to him. She had heard of him a few times, he was one of Lucy's classmates. He didn't have great grades, and he would often pull pranks on people with a certain Sting Eucliffe. And to add to that, he was also Gajeel's cousin. In Levy's very objective opinion, Natsu Dragneel was in two words: a Certified Troublemaker®.
Lucy is a clever girl, why would she ever want to be with a guy like him?
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: You know he's her classmate, they're probably just hanging out.
"...Only one way to find out."
Levy made sure they were at least 20 steps ahead before emerging from the bushes. This earned her some odd looks but she was too focused on the pair to notice anything. She started to follow them as they went on with their stroll around the park. They didn't seem too close, which made Exhausted Common Sense quite satisfied, but they weren't too far apart either, which put Overworking Imagination on edge. Distance was key, and crossing the limit would determine what Levy's next move would be.
Even though she was far behind them and she couldn't make out what could be said between them, they seemed silent.
Voice of Overworking Imagination: First date awkwardness if you ask me.
Levy gulped tensely at the thought.
After a few minutes of strolling and trailing, the pair walked out of the park, and so did Levy. When they stopped once or twice to look at items in a shop, she would stop and pretend to fiddle with her phone, or she would hide in an alley. She could not afford blowing her cover.
Ultimately, they stopped at a cinema and bought tickets for a movie.
Voice of Overworking: Cinema. How dangerous. A dark room full of people focusing on a screen... which means that nobody will pay attention to them. Anything and everything could happen in there, especially when teenagers are involved. Hormones could awaken. It would start with some innocent knee-touching, a shoulder brush, hand holding, and then, far more sinister things could occur... like T-O-N-G-U-E-S and-
"ONE TICKET PLEASE!" she gasped as she slammed an unknown amount of money on the counter, sweating just thinking about all the sinister things her adopted child could be subjected to.
She wisely sat two rows behind them so she couldn't be spotted and also to be able to see what they were doing. A few seconds after the movie started, she finally realised that she could remove her sunglasses, allowing her to rest her spying eyes. She watched them for a good thirty minutes; they seemed to be intently watching the movie, and Levy started to think that maybe her Overworking Imagination had tricked her again, that maybe there really wasn't anything to worry about. But she still continued to watch them as she was not interested in what was happening on the screen. Kids equipped with swords and some sort of steampunk technology were fighting against a bunch of naked giants that destroyed walls. A friendly reminder that the movie industry could do about anything these days. Seriously, naked giants.
Ah, such great meme material, she thought.
But it was when she let down her guard that Natsu Dragneel made his pernicious move. He extended his arm as fast as a snake leaping up to catch its prey; he wrapped his arm around her and placed it on her shoulder, pulling her closer to his body.
My cue to action, she seethed inwardly as she suddenly leapt up from her seat. The enemy had perpetrated sin. The child had to be protected at all costs. Mission: Eradicate Pest. Target: Natsu Dragneel. Weapo-
"Sit the hell down!" a man shouted.
"You're blocking the damn screen!"
"I can't see shit, you're tiny not transparent!"
'I'm not actually small, I'm just making fun of your tiny dick!' would have been her comeback if she hadn't held herself back and quickly apologised before sitting back down. After going this far, she couldn't blow her cover like that. She needed to wait. Patiently.
Voice of Overworking Imagination: Lucy! She has already fallen into his trap!
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: They're teenagers on a movie date, what's the big deal?!
Voice of Overwhelming Fury: Both of you, shut the hell up.
Natsu Dragneel's arm had fingers, and those fingers started going up her hair. She had let down her hair and he saw in it the opportunity to entangle his fingers into it. Nonchalantly, he would twist a lock of hair and let it go. Levy saw this as a direct blow to her gut, basically telling her: What are you gonna do now?
Levy's hands were tied. She had no means of stopping him. She couldn't throw a fit in the cinema since he technically hadn't done anything wrong. She couldn't get Lucy's attention without being noticed. All she could do was twist in her seat desperately. She tightened the grip she had on her thigh since she sat back down, and she knew it would leave a mark later, but she didn't care. All she cared about were the fingers that were playing with the hair of her precious child. Her precious child who did nothing to stop him.
An hour later, the film was over. Under her long brown coat, sweat was profusely dripping down her body. She hadn't felt that much pressure in a long time. What a powerful opponent, this Natsu Dragneel.
The moviegoers went out of the movie theatre at once and, putting her sunglasses back on, so did she.
Voice of Overworking Imagination: Today, we are facing our strongest foe. Thus far, he has made no mistakes. He knows when and where to act. His strategic skills are out of this world. He managed to freeze any counterattack we could have come up with back there. He is sly. He is vicious. What a snake he is.
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: And there's a far more dangerous snake in his pants...
Referee: Did you jus-
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: Yes, now she's got real material to make her imagination work.
Referee: I like you.
Voice of Exhausted Common Sense: Don't mention it.
"Enough flirting! Already got enough with Lucy and her 'boyfriend' already! Where are they?"
She scoped out the scene and quickly found them heading towards the nearest mall. She made a mental list of all the things that could happen with couples in a mall, and she narrowed it down to two options: the carousel and the photo booths.
Carousel or photo booth?
A photo booth sounded more likely, especially for a snake like him. It was a well-known fact that couples tended to be more intimate in photo booths; it could involve C-U-D-D-L-I-N-G or even worse: S-A-L-I-V-A E-X-C-H-A-N-G-E.
She swallowed at the mere thought of it. After taking a deep breath, the detective ran after them.
A/N: I hope you had a good laugh! I always felt like Levy could be the Mom Friend, and because of her quirkiness, she would be the most awkward of them all. And can you imagine a Mom Friend team with Levy and Erza?! Terrifying. Anyway, I hope you liked this madness of a first chapter~! Stay tuned for the next chapter, a special guest (that you definitely already know because it's on the list of characters featuring in this story) will appear! I'll leave you to your guesses as to what will happen! Please review~
