AN: So I'm going a little stir crazy waiting for this hiatus to end so I thought I would write a little something to calm my crazy. It's an oldie but goody. Enjoy :)

Disclaimer: I own nothing.


Callie stepped out of the steamy bathroom, her eyes red and raw from the tears she let flow freely and mix with the warm water that fell down around her. She mindlessly went through her nightly routine, slipping on the pajamas that had become a size too big for her, a stark illustration of all of the weight she had lost. After turning off the overhead light, she pulled back the covers and slipped into her painfully empty bed.

Empty. Just like she felt.

She couldn't even describe the emotions she felt anymore. Everything seemed to be consumed by the giant void that had formed inside of her.

It was crazy to think that just a few weeks ago that void was filled with the greatest thing Callie had ever experienced. Love, passion, and a weakness for butterfly covered scrub caps, all directed towards a certain blonde had completely enveloped her and made her feel more complete than she had in her entire life.

But now? Now she was empty, because all of those pieces were taken from her and whisked away faster than a plane to Malawi.

Work was the only thing keeping her afloat, but now even that wasn't enough. After spending a solid 50 hours at the hospital, Callie was finally sent home. Not that it felt like home anymore. Her home was now living halfway across the world and there was nothing she could do about it.

So instead there she sat, in her empty bed in her empty apartment feeling nothing but empty.

Just empty. Because feeling anything else simply hurt too much.

She was suddenly pulled from her thoughts when her cell phone began vibrating on the nightstand. Sitting up against the headboard, she turned on the lamp and answered the phone.

"Hello?" Even her voice sounded empty these days.

A few seconds passed in silence until finally, she heard a sad sigh from the other end of the line. "Calliope…"

And just like that she was full again as all of the emotions she had been trying to avoid came crashing into her all at once. "Arizona?"

"Yeah. Yeah it's me. I just- I got home and dialed your number before I even realized what I was doing, but then I didn't want to hang up. I um- I needed to hear your voice." Covering her mouth she paused to stifle the sob of relief that ripped through her body. "God, it's so good to hear your voice, Calliope."

As soon as the phone started ringing Arizona knew it was probably a mistake, but now she didn't even care. Because even just after two simple words, she knew it was worth all of the pain and confusion just to hear her love's voice one more time.

Callie ran a hand through her damp hair as her broken heart hammered in her chest. "It's-It's good to hear your voice too."

"Yeah? I was scared you weren't going to pick up. I thought you would be too mad to talk to me."

"I'm not mad. I'm just…"

"What?"

Lost. Devastated. Broken. Those words barely began to describe her life now.

"I'm just sad, Arizona."

Hearing Callie's trembling voice broke Arizona's heart all over again. She hated seeing her in pain, and she hated even more to be the reason for that pain. "I've only ever wanted to make you happy. I'm so sorry I can't do that anymore."

"Me too. Me too. I'm sorry I never even congratulated you. I never showed it, but I am so proud of you." She had every reason to play the victim here. She was the one who was left in an airport with no job, no home, no girlfriend, but after weeks of tears, heartache, and soul searching, Callie knew it wasn't that simple. That it takes two people to get to such a point.

And what did it matter who's fault it was anyway? She was here and Arizona was there. Casting blame wouldn't change that.

A silent moment passed as if the two women were taking it all in. Finally digesting what their lives had become. Closure was good. It was healthy even, but that didn't mean it doesn't hurt.

Brushing off a stray tear, the blonde finally broke the sad silence, "This is hard, isn't it?" Understatement of the year, she thought.

"Yeah. Yeah, this is hard." Not even when they had just begun dating were things this stressed or this awkward. "Um how- how are you?"

"I'm fine." Arizona replied. It had become her mantra over there, constantly telling herself that she was good, that she was fine. But saying it then had sounded just as flat and forged as it had the other ten thousand times she said it. She wondered if Callie could hear the lie in her voice too.

From her bed she looked around her small and empty bedroom. The tiny house she stayed in was nothing to be desired. It wasn't home, and it never would be. There was no warmth, or comfort, or love, and the moments where she wasn't surrounded by medicine were the hardest parts of her day. This was definitely not the way she envisioned her life turning out.

"Sometimes at night I dream about what our life would look like if- if I would have stayed. We'd have kids, all kinds of kids Calliope. And we'd live in a big house, and they would all be running around the backyard while you and I watched from the porch swing. I really wanted that life with you, Calliope. Please know that. I wanted it so much."

"I know, Arizona." The tears were now flowing freely down her tan cheeks. She dreamed about that life too. It had been so close it was nearly palpable. They almost really had it all.

Almost.

"Calliope I lov–"

"Please- Please don't say you love me." Callie's voice was a desperate plea.

"But I do, though."

Callie didn't even try to stop it as a sob broke through, and her body crumpled lower into the bed. Even though she could hear the love apparent in Arizona's voice, there was no way she could hear those three words. Not anymore.

Not when she couldn't say it back.

"I know you do, sweetheart." That was all that Callie could give her right now.

It wasn't that she didn't love Arizona. No, it was the complete opposite. Even thinking those three words seemed to tear through Callie's heart every time. She loved her more wholly and fiercely than she had ever loved anyone before, and Callie knew she always would.

So no, she couldn't say it back. Not when it hurt this much.

"Can I at least tell you that I miss you?"

Callie managed a sad smile through her tears, "I miss you too."

Arizona let out a heavy sigh as she ran her fingers over her heart-shaped necklace. This was it. This was goodbye. Hanging up that phone would be the hardest thing she ever had to do.

"It must be pretty late over there… I guess- I better let you go. Thank you for talking to me. You don't know how much it means to me."

"Of course. It means a lot to me too." Callie bit her trembling lip and waited for the blow to hit home.

"Goodbye Calliope." And there it was.

"Goodbye Arizona." I love you too.


Thoughts?

P.S. Who's excited for Grey's this Thursday?! Almost there!