CINDER ELLA

Once upon a time, in a long forgotten kingdom, there lived a cunning young woman with long golden hair and sparking blue eyes. Of course, this luscious hair was often knotted with straw and dirt due to Ella's frequent frolicking in the stables with boys whose names she didn't bother to remember.

When not entangled with the hired help, Ella could be found inside her small country manor house, passing the time with her stepmother and stepsisters. Since the death of Ella's father, the four women lived as comfortably as one can expect off the income of an underutilised farming estate which could not afford more help and whose residents declined to get their newly manicured nails dirty.

Although Ella had not interest in digging up vegetables, she gladly took on the role of fetching firewood, going to the markets, keeping the kitchen in order, and ensuring fireplaces were clean and lit. This allowed her the opportunity to play the part of the poor stepdaughter, sent out to do all the household chores at her 'evil' stepmother's bidding, thus gaining the neighbourhoods sympathy. More importantly though, it allowed her time away from the house to socialise with those before mentioned stable hands without anyone questioning her absence, or why she was always covered in dirt. It was simple assumed that she was covered in cinders from seeping out the fireplaces. It did earn her the nickname of 'Cinderella' from her stepsister, however, this just increased the neighbour's sympathy for poor, cunning, little, Ella.

AN INVITATION

One morning a letter came for Lady Frellis that would rouse her daughters from their daily tasks of deciding which shade of black mascara to wear, and her stepdaughter from thoughts of whom to entangle with next.

The letter contained an invitation from the royal palace, inviting the lady of the house and her to a ball in celebration of Prince Louis' twenty-first birthday. Naturally, with news as important as this, the rest of the week was spent in hysterics as the ladies went back and forth deciding on the appropriate attire for the upcoming display of satin and skin.

You see, occasions such as this were the perfect opportunity for ladies to display one of the many tight, low cut, gowns stashed away in their wardrobes, which society had deemed too inappropriate for everyday life. For in a party situation, it was accepted that as long as one is actually clothed, a one may dress as tarty as she wishes without the fear of being branded as one.

A SPARK IN THE PREPERATIONS

One the evening before the ball, Ella was attending to the fireplace in the younger, Miss Sophie's room when something snapped. Ella was offering half-hearted encouragement and suggestions as Miss Sophie raced around the room ignoring her. After trying on ten different gowns, and throwing shoes, ribbons, and countless eyeshadows onto her queen sized bed, Miss Sophie finally declared she had nothing to wear, and no make-up to match.

Ella, who after fifteen minutes grew bored of Miss Sophie's grumbles and tried to leave. However, upon reaching the door, Miss Sophie pulled Ella her back, insisting she stay and help. So Ella sat by the fire, one by one, slowly burning the ribbons that were apparently only suitable for an 'old hag or three year old' to wear. After another ten minutes of this, Ella called for Miss Sophie to 'shut the fuck up and pick a damm dress already', to which Miss Sophie's response was to call Ella an 'insufferable shrew'. Naturally, this did not sit well with Ella, so of course her response was to use the fire iron to throw a burning piece of ribbon right at Miss Sophie. Miss Sophie squealed as the silk dress she was holding caught alight, dropping it onto the floor, before stomping out the fire.

Now, if this had been the elder Miss Danica, the queeling girl would have lunged at Ella with a show, and and a scratching, hair plucking, bruise inflicting, scuffle would have entailed. However, as Miss Sophie was more of a dobber than a fighter, she prudently raced down to inform her mother.

When Lady Frellis sat the two girls down, Ella informed her of Miss Sophie's and how she had grown tired of her 'whining like a little bitch'. Although Lady Frellis agreed that her daughter had in fact been 'whining like a little bitch', she as also forced to acknowledge that her stepdaughter had chosen a rather alarming response by trying to set said little bitch on fire. Therefore, Lady Frellis, was not in the habit of disciplining any of her three daughters, came to the decision to ground Ella. In addition to preventing Ella from attending the ball, and to compensate for the dress she's burnt, she also allowed Miss Sophie the option to choose an outfit from Ella's wardrobe to wear to the ball. To which Ella responded by storming off and slamming the door behind her.

THE FAIRY GULLABLE MOTHER

After the trio had left for the ball, Ella boardly wondered around the house for something to do. Then deciding that she did really want to go the ball, and that lady Frellis was not in fact her real mother, and thus could not tell her what to do, she went looking through her wardrobe for a suitable gown. Unfortunately, Miss Sophie had chosen her favourite. Deciding that nothing else would do, Ella went to the kitchen, bundled up some of the poorer looking scones she'd gotten from the local bakery, and made her way to Mrs Gully's house.

When Mrs Gully opened the door, Ella offered bundle of scones, claiming she 'had made too many'. Mrs Gully, delighted with the sweet, thoughtful appearing girl on her doorstep, invited her in, asking, 'why a pretty a pretty young thing like you' wasn't at the ball. Ella explained that as the invitation had only been addressed to 'Lady Frellis and her daughters', Lady Frellis had decided that Ella could not attend. To this Mrs Gully silently cursed Lady Frellis name, and even went as far as to refer to her as 'that dreadful woman' out loud. She then decided that Ella should indeed go to the ball, leading Ella down the hallway to her recently deceased daughters room.

Miss Grace had many glamours gowns that were going unworn, just as Ella had expected. It didn't take long for Ella to find one that was just right. With a short, puffy, baby blue skirt, tight and slimming waist, and perky v-neck top covered in glitter, it was sure to turn heads.

After putting the dress on, Mrs Gully helped Ella with her hair and offered her personal carriage. Ella thanked her kind neighbour, calling her 'my own, personal fairy god mother!', to which Mrs Gully gushed with pride and joy. Then Ella and her carriage made a quick detour to the hiding spot she had stashed her dead mother's glass slippers, in preparation of this moment. Then, when all shoed up, she rode on to the ball.

A DRINK IN CELEBRATION

Upon entering the ballroom, with the fast paced music beating on, it was clear that the King, Queen, and everyone else over the age of forty had already retired for the evening... Almost everyone.

Almost immediately Ella spotted Miss Sophie at the bar, trying and failing to offer a shot to the prince. Then as as she made her way to the dance floor she found the ever pretentious Miss Danica with her tongue down what was obviously a farm boys throat. It was interesting how her standards dropped when she was slashed. However, most alarming was Lady Frellis, who in the middle of the dance floor had seem to forgotten that she was now mutton and had mistakenly dressed herself as lamb. Unfortunately for her, this had not escaped the notice of the two young stallion's whose buttock's she was trying to grope, and who was desperately trying to avoid the cougars capture.

Uninterested with her step family's quite public and unseemly display, Ella made her way back to the bar, where upon ordering a Bloody Mary, she happened to share a moment of eye contact with the price. He took this as encouragement enough to approach her.

Now, it must be said that the price was never the object of Miss Ella's mind, however, never one to turn down a free drink she was happy to indulge the feeble prince with friendly conversation as long as he kept coming back with refreshments from the surprisingly un-open bar.

Three cocktails and a tequila later Ella was suddenly struck by the notion that besides the slightly balding patch atop the prince's head, he wasn't altogether as unattractive as she's first thought. And although she had once before conquered royalty, never a prince, especially one destined to become king. Therefore, when the prince offered to fetch her yet another refreshment, she lent forward, running he hand up his leg, and suggested whilst licking her lips that a Sex on the Beach would be most agreeably. Needless to say the naive young prince did not get the hint, and promptly returned with a sparking pink cocktail.

A STROLL IN THE NIGHT

Ella suggested to the prince that they get some refreshing sea air on the beach below. Eager to please, the prince promptly led her outside the palace, down the stone steps and onto the golden sand.

Five minutes of stumbling around and pretending to enjoy the moonlight air, Ella decided that a less grainy surface was needed and promptly expressed a keen interest to explore the maze, to which of course the prince was eager to oblige.

Once out of sight, Ella slammed the prince into the leafy hedge, pressing her mouth to his and tasting his tongue as as she unbuttoned his breeches with the ease of someone who had done so a hundred times before. Thankfully the prince did not need any more encouraging than this, and after a momentary pause form being started, begun attempting to unbutton Ella's dress. A few minutes of fumbling and apologising from the price was all Ella could take, so she pushed the price out the way and thirty seconds later, her dress was lying on the floor beneath them.

After they were done, Ella and the prince lay panting upon Ella's lightly grazed dress upon the stone floor. The prince inquired if they could cuddle, to which Ella raised her brow in disdain. Ella was usually of the opinion that only 'sissys' wanted to cuddle, however as there was a slight chill in the air and her unwillingness to stand was impacted by blurred vision and a woozy feeling, she saw no reason to object, responding only with a with drunken slur. As she shut her eyes, falling into a deep slumber, the price embraced Ella tightly, declaring his perpetual love and intentions to make her his princess.

AN EVER AFTER

The following afternoon Ella awoke with a pounding head and a sudden urge to expel her insides. When the latter was taken care of she noticed the trail of sand that that lead to one of her glass slippers, minus the heel, with the other no wear to be seen. Then came back a flashes of the previous night; drinking with the prince, walking along the beach, getting lost in the maze.. Then waking up as the bell tower struck two AM, quickly dressing herself and leaving the naked prince lying on the stone floor as she dashed out the maze and down the stone steps leaving the palace behind. For a moment she felt a tinge of regret as the heels really were one of kind that did wonders for her figure. Nevertheless, this regret was short lived as the second urge to expel her insides erupted and a different kind of regret came over her.

Thankfully for Ella, her step-sisters and step-mother were also experiencing some unpleasant side effects of the previous night, resulting in her inability to leave her bedroom for the whole day going unnoticed.

The following day however, Ella was not so lucky. Her presence was requested downstairs when a messenger arrived from the king, summoning all the ladies of the house to the parlour. The messenger pulled a glass heel out of his pocket, explaining that the prince would like to find the beautiful young lady to whom it belongs. Feeling an awkward situation coming on, Ella attempted to sneak out the room as her stepsisters tried on the heel, but alas, was spotted by the messenger who insisted ALL ladies of the house must try it on. Needless to say it was a perfect fit.

The messenger then presented Ella with a letter from the prince offering her his hand, and requesting her presence at the palace. Although the messenger pleaded with Ella to return to the prince with him, Ella gracefully declined, even going as far as to explain that though the price is as rich as he was, Ella was not about to throw away her youth and relinquish her invigorating lifestyle for anyone, especially a balding, slobbering, sissy.

She did however, send in her place a letter to the prince outlining the rules and etiquette of the one night stand. Upon receiving thus letter, the devastated prince swore his heart would never mend and vowed never to drink such poison again. Of course this lasted just as long as it took for another courtier with a low cut neckline to convince him to quench his thirst, after which he was happy to dip his paddle once and forever more into her lagoon.

And they all lived as happily ever after as can be expected.