Hello, everyone!
I kinda wanted to try out writing a comedy fanfic series. I hope you'll get a laugh out of this, or a giggle or smirk, anything. I've never tried anything like this before, so sorry! Reviews are appreciated!
I don't own Pokemon. But I wish I did. Also, cover art is made by Kureculari in deviantart. Really cute, and please check Kureculari out for more awesome art!
The school bell rang exactly on 8 am, signalling the first period of the day. Which, no one came to, except Ms. Heisenhoff, principal of the school. So she was surprised when she heard a knock coming from her door. The door swung open slowly, and a cute Eeveelution greeted her.
''Squeeze me please, lady.'' The Glaceon smiled.
''...I beg your pardon, what?'' Ms. Heisenhoff gaped at the blue Pokemon.
''Squeeze me!'' He said, smiling. ''You know, squeeze me, I want to ask you a question?''
''You mean...excuse me.'' Ms. Heisenhoff sighed, and Glaceon nodded.
''Yes! I am cumming here for to be learning the education!'' He bobbed his head.
''Coming. And as...degraded as your english is, I have to admit, you're early.'' Ms. Heisenhoff commented.
''Oh no! I'm Ali.'' The Glaceon shook his head.
''I beg your pardon?''
''My name is Ali. Ali Glacier.'' Ali said. ''And I am very excited to be with you!''
''That sounds so wrong.'' Ms. Heisenhoff sighed to herself. ''Did you bring anything with you, for your lessons?''
''Yah!'' Ali reached into his back and pulled out a yellow book. ''I brought a silly bus book with me!''
''Syllabus.'' Ms. Heisenhoff corrected, and the Glaceon shook his head, confused.
''What is the difference, lady?'' He asked.
''You'll know more when you start your english classes. I'll schedule this whole week to be with the english teacher.'' Ms. Heisenhoff said.
''What is english?''
Ms. Heisenhoff gaped at the Glaceon, dumbfounded. ''...You know what? Never mind, just go down to room 9, on the corridor on your left.''
''Room...9. Go left, on corridor.'' Ali repeated slowly.
''Right!''
''You are confusing me!'' Ali wailed. ''Right or left!''
''I-egh-mff...just go to room 9.'' Ms. Heisenhoff facepawed, and shoved the Glaceon out of the office.
. . .
Ms. Heisenhoff sighed, sitting back down on her couch. What a perfect time to sip on some coffee...
The door banged open, and Ms. Heisenhoff sputtered. She stared, shocked, at the coughing Croagunk.
''Ms. Heisenhoff, may I enter?'' He asked nervously. ''I don't mean sexually! I mean-''
''Stop.'' Ms. Heisenhoff lifted a paw. ''What is it that you want?''
''I have come to fill in the wanted applicant of an english teacher!'' He saluted.
''Do you have insurance against madness?''
''No.''
''Insurance against suicide?''
''No.''
''Is there a mental asylum located near here?''
''No. Why?''
Ms. Heisenhoff sighed, and gazed pitifully at the Croagunk. ''What a pity.''
''Rest assured, Ms. Heisenhoff, I will not be deterred by work!'' The Croagunk said. ''My name is Mr. Brown, by the way.''
''Room 9. You start at 10 am.'' Ms. Heisenhoff raised a shaky paw, and the Croagunk trotted out happily, whistling a merry tune. Ms. Heisenhoff sighed; He's a goner by tomorrow...
. . .
(Mr. Brown's POV)
I checked my watch. Perfect! Exactly at 10 am sharp. I didn't even have to remind myself that time!
I took a deep breath, and opened the door to my new class.
It was pretty noisy. There was a Glaceon, Umbreon, Flareon, Vaporeon, Jolteon, Leafeon, and an Eevee. And they were all chatting away. I tried to ask them to calm down, but to no avail. So I picked up a bell from the table and rang it, and everyone stopped talking.
''Well, good morning class!'' I greeted. ''I am your new teacher, and-''
''Si! Professori!'' The Umbreon came up and patted me on the back. ''Is good to see you!''
''The name is Mr. Brown, if you'd please.'' I said. ''Everyone, take a seat.''
The Eeveelutions all went to random seats and stared at me.
''Well, class, as none of you may know,'' I took out a marker from the drawer,''I am your new english teacher. And form teacher.''
''Mr. Brown!'' The Glaceon raised a paw. ''Are you a printer?''
''A form teacher is a teacher that is overall in charge.'' I sighed.
''Jolly good!'' The Glaceon nodded.
''Anyway...I'd like you all to please tell me your names. You can start first.'' I pointed to the Umbreon, and he stood up.
''Maximillian Andreas Achimedes Poppanraiu.'' He said.
''Um...let's just go with Max.'' I gestured for him to sit down.
''I'm Poolie Waterfall.'' The Vaporeon said.
''I'm Amie Waterfall!'' The Jolteon said.
''And I'm Denver Waterfall.'' The Flareon said dejectedly, and the three eeveelutions said together, ''We're triplets!''
''Very nice.'' I nodded. ''What about you, Glaceon?''
''I'm Ali. Ali Glacier.'' He said, then took out a book. ''I have your silly bus with me!''
''I'm Aiden.'' The Eevee said, before I got a chance to speak. ''I'm new here.''
''And um..I'm Lily!'' The Leafeon said. ''I like hugs!''
''Ooookay.'' I decided to ignore that last comment, and began to write on the board.
''Class, the first topic we're going to work on today, is online scams. How many of you have been on the internet?''
Everyone raised their hands.
''And how many of you have received emails about, winning a lucky draw, for example?''
Everyone raised their hands.
''Ali. Stand.'' I commanded, and the Glaceon stood up from his chair.
''What is one example of an online scam?'' I asked.
''Fake underwear sales!'' He piped, and everyone laughed.
''Well, I'll accept that.'' I shook my head. ''Now, let's take a lucky draw, for example. Have you ever gotten a lucky draw saying you have won one million dollars, but you need to pay a thousand as a deposit before they pay you a million?''
''No problem, no problem!'' Ali said. ''Just deduct it from my one million dollars.''
Everyone burst into laughter, and I cracked a smile. Hey, it was funny!
''Very ingenious, Ali.'' I sighed. ''But such adds like this are a perfect example of online scams. Which is why you need to-''
The door swung open, and an Espeon barged through, holding a pink bag.
''Sorry! Sorry!'' The Espeon bowed. ''I'm so sorry I'm late!''
The males all whistled, and the Espeon looked at me. ''What a cutie you are, you! Where is the english teacher?''
''Me.'' I said, and she gasped. ''But you're too young to be the teacher!''
''Well, thank you, miss...''
''Anna. Anna Rose.'' She bowed.
''Well Anna, you may take a seat here.'' I pointed to the empty table with two chairs, and immediately, Denver and Aiden stood up, walking to me.
''Yes, what is the matter?'' I tapped my foot impatiently.
''I tell you what's wrong, Mr. White.'' Aiden said.
''Brown!''
''Scusi. It's about where we sit!'' Aiden protested.
''What's wrong with where you were sitting before?''
''It's my eyes, proffessori!'' Aiden said. ''I gotta sit closer to the front, right here.'' He pointed to the empty chair next to Anna.
''I suppose it has nothing to do with the fact that Anna is sitting there too?'' I sighed.
''She is?!'' Aiden gasped. ''I never noticed! See, I'm a little short sighted.''
''And a bigger liar.'' Denver said.
''That's not true, Mr. Green.'' Aiden protested.
''The name is Brown!''
''YOU SEE PROFFESSORI, I'M COLORBLIND AS WELL!'' He wailed.
I took a deep breath, and turned to Denver. ''And I suppose your eyes are a little short sighted too?''
''Oh no, I just wanted to be closer to the dustbin.'' Denver pointed to the plastic dustbin in the corner of the room. ''I sharpen my pencils a lot.''
''...Go back to your seats, the two of you.'' I sighed, and they went back, grumbling.
Anna stood up slowly. ''I hope I wasn't...how you say...too forward?'' She leaned forward, exposing her bare chest.
''You are at this rate.'' I gently pushed her down. She sulked and pouted.
''Now, as I was saying, such adds like this are a perfect example of online scams. Which is why you need to-''
''AT-CHOO!'' Ali sneezed. ''Jolly sorry, Mr. Brown.''
''...perfect example of online scams. Which is why you need to-''
''Mr. Brown!'' Ms. Heisenhoff's voice rang from behind the door. ''You have a call!''
''I'm never getting past this sentence.'' I sighed, and walked out the door. ''Class dismissed. Everyone please return to your homes.''
. . .
''I hope you realize that your caller has called me 60 times in the last hour, asking about you.'' Ms. Heisenhoff huffed. ''She seems determined to meet you.''
''I wonder who it is?'' We walked into the principal's office.
I picked up the phone and listened. ''Hello?''
''Brownie!'' A voice said happily, and my heart jumped out my mouth.
''I miss you so much, Brownie! Can we meet again, pleaaaaa-''
I slammed the phone, and saw Ms. Heisenhoff staring at me curiously.
''Er...it was a prank call from my friend!'' I said nervously. ''Well, if we're done and all, I gotta get back home, so...''
''Oh! Have you written down the particulars of every student?'' Ms. Heisenhoff asked, and I facepawed.
''I knew I forgot something today...I'll ask them tomorrow. Bye!'' I ran out of the room and into the lift.
''Wait!'' Ms. Heisenhoff called, but I was already down at the lobby, rushing into my house to scream at my toilet, and then falling from exhaustion at my bed...
Well, I hope you had a good kick out of it, and I hope you enjoyed reading! Sorry if it seemed so rushed, I'm on a really tight schedule this week...well, goodbye, and I'll see you next time!
