My group. My mini army. My army is the only thing that Stan's gang doesn't have. They don't have me, the boy that everyone thinks is a cynical asshole. I'm not a cynical asshole. I have a side to me that only comes out when it's the four of us alone, and then I'm not a dick that hates the world.

Then you've got Token. The rich kid. They think that he's only rich, and that there's no side to him. They're wrong. They don't know how much those rich jokes hurt him. They don't know the loneliness that he feels for being the only rich kid in town. They don't know that his dad's been out of work for months, and that he might have to sell his house soon.

Then you've got Clyde. The fat kid. He's not just the fat kid. He's the nicest kid that I've ever known. He's the one that makes sure that I don't flip out on Stan's Gang whenever they bring up Peru. He's the one that helps Token out with school lunch money, so his parents don't have to pay. And he's the guy that's still mourning the loss of his mom. The boy that still cries for her every night. He's the only person that can calm Tweek down.

Then you've got Jimmy. The comedian whose joke's went stale. The boy that was the cause for Funny Bot. People see him extremely one sided. They think that he's a handicapped comedian, but he's so much more. He's a fighter, who leaves town ever Summer to help people across America. He's the boy that can temporarily stop Tweak's addiction when we hang out. He hangs out with us occasionally, and when he does he brings a lot to the group.

And then you've got Tweek. The paranoid boy, who has a coffee addiction. He's so much more than they think he is. He's the one that stopped me from buying those drugs. He's the one that ditched Stan's gang, to hang out with us. He's the one that helped bring Clyde out of his depression. He's the one that helped Jimmy find his missing crutch. He's the one that lets Token over to his house, whenever his dad gets drunk.

We are a well-oiled machine, and we belong. People think that Stan's gang is better than us, but what do they have that we don't? I'll tell you.

Stan Marsh. The once happy boy, that turned into a cynic. He's extremely one sided when he's not drunk, unlike me. I know, because Tweek hung out with them for a few weeks. He's supposed to be the leader, but he's just a follower.

Kyle Brofloski. The Jew. The kid that would stick his face in a book. The kid with a temper. That's it. He does fight Cartman a lot, but all of us do. There's nothing special about attacking him.

Eric Cartman. The manipulative, scheming asshole that hates the world. The kid that fed a boy his own parents, just because he didn't like that boy. The kid that's insane enough to think that his hand talks to him.

Kenny McCormick. I don't know much about Kenny. Clyde says that he thinks he's an immortal. He hides himself behind his parka. He doesn't speak much, and when he does, his parka muffles him. He's foul mouthed, and a pervert. He's insane.

Butters Stotch. The pussy. The boy that his own group bullies. The kid who's dad's gay, and his mom tried to kill him. The boy who's only real friend is a first grader who wants to destroy the world.

And they have so many adventures that they can't just hang out. They all hate each other (except Stan and Kyle, though they do get into fights), and are always trying to kill each other. They get scammed easily, and no one helps Cartman deal with having a dead dad, like we do to Clyde for having a dead mom. They even mock him for it at times.

We don't bully each other. Sure we're boys, we'll make fun of each other, but we would never bully, like they do to each other. Maybe if they just hung out without someone dying in the process things would be okay with them, but they don't.

That's why no one else will join the group. They go into life or death situations every day, and they don't even care. As Tweek would say, that's too much pressure. We've all been in one of their stupid adventures and been alone with them.

My gang is much better than Stan's. Without Tweek I'd be a drug addict. Without Clyde, I'd have killed Kenny. Without Token, we wouldn't have had such an awesome time in someone's house. Without Jimmy, we wouldn't have such entertaining nights. Without me, we wouldn't have a leader. The five of us are a team, and we stick together through thick and through thin.

So don't compare us to Stan's gang, because we are so much better. We care about each other, and we will help each other. We are a gang, and gangs stick together. My gang. My group. My friends.