Title: The Strange And Eventful Encounters Of Miranda Priestly

Author: Slashydutchie

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Miranda/Andy if there is one.

Summary: Blame afrodyte… the prompts are hers.

Disclaimer: Don't own The Devil Wears Prada, or any of the other stuff I make a reference to, no money made here. Hell, I don't even own the idea!


1.Telemarketers

"Err… but…"

"And when you're done with that, Emily, you can go get my dry cleaning and…"

"But…"

"Emily, will you stop interrupting me?!"

"But please…"
"Fine, what is it that's more important to you than your job?"
"Miss… it's been two hours… and I was only going to ask you whether you were interested in a subscription to Runway."

"You're fired."

2. Jehovah's Witnesses

"We're not hiding."

"But… Miranda…"

"I am Miranda Priestly. Miranda Priestly does not hide."

"Well, honestly…"

"Did you hear me, Ahn-draya?! We are most definitely not hiding."

"Fine. We're not hiding."
"Good."
"Miranda?"
"WHAT?"

"If we're not hiding from the Jehovah's Witnesses… then why are we behind the couch with you on top of me?"
"Now that, Ahn-draya… is a good question" kindly insert Shark Smile here

3. Wrong phone numbers

"Miranda..?"

"Yes, Ahn-draya?"

"Remember when you were making a phone call while I er… distracted… you?"

"Why is that of any relevance? You know I am well capable of multitasking."

"There's a guy from the petshop here with about twenty cats."

4. Crank callers

"Hello miss, I am looking for Amanda Hugginkiss." snigger

"Emily, please tell Niles there's a call for him on line three."

5. Tech support

insert Andrea screaming

"What is it?!"
"Em… there's a mouse on my desk!"

"Now do you see why we don't let her make her own calls?"

6. Government employees

"Ma'am, I'm really not sure you understand…"

"Hold this and stop calling me that."

"But… but… Ma'am, I am the…"

"And confirm my appointment with Karl."

"Ma'am… I don't think y'all understand…"

"I understand your utter incompetence very well."

"Emily…"

"Don't say it, Andrea…"

"But she just…"

"Don't."

"The president is crying!"

"You can never just let anything go, can you?"

7. Waiting in line

"I don't like this…"

"Miranda, you know what the twins' therapist said… this kind of activity is important."

"Ahn-draya…"

"Even though I'm going to regret this… yes?"

"We are waiting… in a shopping mall… in a line full of screaming children… so the twins can tell a fat man in a ghastly getup what they want me to buy them."

"Isn't Christmas fun?"

"I'm ecstatic."

"I'll make it worth your while, promise."

"Come on dears, let's say hello to old Saint Nic!"

"Works every time."

8. Perverts

"I don't see why you're laughing, Ahn-draya."

"You… you criticized… his trenchcoat!"

9. Lunatics (I kinda sorta nicked this, but it deserves a wider audience than it got)

"Fur is evil! Fur is evil!"

"Well, well… such slogans really do beat me black and blue. Oh! That's it! Next season, black and blue fur! Emily, write that down! Sir, are you looking for a job, by any chance?"

"But… you're the devil! Fur is for animals!"
"Oh my god, you're an inspiration! Emily, get me twenty dogs! Big ones! We'll have them show it themselves!"

crazy activist person sobs and wanders off, trailing his anti-fur sign behind him

"Nobody handles a protest like Miranda, right Andy?"

"You can say that again…"



10. Other people's children

"Miranda…"

"Ahn-draya, I've had my weekly outing with the kids. Now I want my reward… I believe chocolate would be included?"

"Yes, about the kids…"

"What about them?"

"Those aren't yours."

"Drat. Every damn time!"