Inspired by 2x04, my unexpectedly increasing love for Sarah O'Brien, and some very weird ships.

Sweet

Sarah cares a great deal for Mr. Lang. There is nothing wrong or unusual about that.

He is a good, kind man who would benefit from being with her. She knows she could help him, with his illness; he needs someone who could take care of him. She could. She looked after Billy.

Mr Lang reminds her of Billy. He's got the same nerves, but underneath all that, there's something else there. Sarah would like to see it come out. It's only a shadow, but she could see it in the light, and he would be such a man. He knows his work, doesn't he? His mother was a lady's maid, this is in his blood. Just like her. They would fit.

Mr Lang makes Sarah feel softer. He makes her feel warmer, gentler. As if her rough edges could be smoothed off, and instead of harmful, she could be good for something. Good for him.

They are equals. There's nothing of someone being in charge; they are equals, and can enjoy conversation as equals. He's a good valet, he knows his trade, and beyond that he is an intelligent, sensitive, decent man, and Sarah thinks they could both do each other magnificent good.

He has no attachments. She doesn't think he even has family, and there are few silly little girls that would cling to a man through this illness. He needs a woman, and she can be it. She can give him what he needs.

And there is the stress. The shell-shock. She knows so much of it that she feels she has near enough lived through it herself. She understands him. And he could understand her, too. She still misses Billy, and she won't ever pass that, but it still feels like a knife plunged into her. He could take it away.

But love destroys, in the end. And haven't they seen enough of destruction?

Sour

Sarah despises Mr Bates. There is nothing wrong or unusual about that.

He is a self-sacrificing, self-serving, self-righteous bastard that has no place whatsoever in her heart or in her mind. Having him around makes her furious, and she knows she has the same effect on him. She takes pride in the fact that even without thinking about it, she can cut into him. She hates him.

Mr Bates reminds her of Jack Watson. And that's reason enough. He seems like a perfectly decent man up front, but there's such a vice, such a temper, a fury, a passion that makes her feel the ice that Mr Watson left her with. They would clash so terribly.

Mr Bates makes her feel sharper. He makes her feel angrier and crueller, as if her already hardened edges should be sharpened like a knife and used as a weapon to hurt. Specifically, to hurt him.

He is of equal rank to her, but he thinks he's above her in character. He thinks he is better than her, and she knows she is better than him. She's stronger than him, and truer. He doesn't know a thing of his work, and how can she forgive that?

Besides, he could never shake Anna off. She's clinging to him like a devoted, pathetic little puppy, and she has no idea what she's getting into, Sarah's sure, but it's nought to her. A woman would never put up with him. He needs a girl. He needs Anna.

And then there's the wife. She's an experience he must always carry, and Sarah would remind him too much of her. They'd never put up with each other. They'd never understand each other. She still misses Jack, but she's put the pain aside, and he makes her feel it again, like shoving a knife into her.

But he is like fire and passion and rage. And she wants him.