Title: The Diary
Author: Me!
Fandom: In the Forest of the Night
Pairing: Aubrey/Risika
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: Aubrey and Risika are Amelia Atwater-Rhodes', not mine! Diary of Jane is Breaking Benjamin's, not mine!
Author's Note: I wrote this fic because I love the pairing and there just aren't enough good fics dedicated to them, so hope you enjoy it! If not, just leave a comment and I'll try hard to improve! PS- I'm sure I got the date wrong, I don't own a copy of ITFOTN, I'll correct it soon if I can get my hands on one...or if you just review and tell me!
The Diary
If I had to
I would put myself right beside you
So let me ask
Would you like that?
Would you like that?
And I don't mind
If you say this love is the last time
So now I'll ask
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
No
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be
Try to find out what makes you tick
As I lie down
Sore and sick
Do you like that?
Do you like that?
There's a fine line between love and hate
And I don't mind
Just let me say that I like that
I like that
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place in the diary of Jane
So tell me how it should be
Desperate, I will crawl
Waiting for so long
No love, there is no love
Die for anyone
What have I become
Something's getting in the way
Something's just about to break
I will try to find my place in the diary of Jane
As I burn another page
As I look the other way
I still try to find my place
In the diary of Jane
-Diary of Jane, Breaking Benjamin
Aubrey
She was an angel drowning in blood.It was late afternoon when I came to her. Risika was fast asleep and I wanted to keep it that way, at least until I was ready. I had been careful to cloak my aura before making my visit. Even now that she has my blood, she's still as vulnerable to me in sleep as any other vampire.
No, I wasn't there to kill her. If I'd wanted her dead, then I would've killed her long ago with her wide awake and at full strength instead of asleep and vulnerable. I was there only with the intention of leaving her a gift to commemorate her 300th deathday. It was then when the leatherbound notebook caught my eye. I came for one purpose only, but I couldn't help but let curiousity get in my way. Like anyone else who would happen to come across a such beautiful leatherbound notebook, I harbored an obvious suspicion, which was to be later confirmed.
A sudden urge came over me. This book, Risika's diary, holds everything about her. Her thoughts, her experiences. Part of me was curious as to what she truely thought of me. Of course I knew, it was never a secret how much she hated me, but something made me hold out a little hope that maybe she felt something else, as I did.
I carefully replaced the book with my rose. She'll know where to find me.
Risika
Wake up!
I opened my eyes after a satisfying slumber, it was the best I've had in months. I'd been constantly thinking about my brother's words. Even when I defended my lifestyle I couldn't help but wonder why had he waited so long to find me. If only I had him through all of those years. Now more than ever, I fantasized about how things would've turned out if Aubrey hadn't interfered with our lives. Yes, I would've remained ignorantly afraid and naively innocent, but it wouldn't matter, because I'd have never known what it was like on the other side. Most of all, I'd have my family.
Aubrey Karew. Damn him.
Of all the lives of sixteenth century Concord, why was mine the one chosen for his amusement? Ather was the one who changed me, but I know that Aubrey was more than her little lapdog. Even now that I have my revenge, I'll never be completely satisfied with it. I wanted him dead, disgraced and in pain, but why didn't I take that chance when it was there? I don't know. To this day, I don't know.
After staring at the ceiling, lost in thought for some time, I caught a glimpse of something from the corner of my eye. I immediately recognized it. It was the black rose, the exact one I had foolishly accepted so many years ago. I have recieved another rose in the past, but it was not like this one. I could feel the curses embedded in it, I could feel him.
It was a moment before I realized that the rose had been exchanged for something else.
------
Aubrey flipped through the pages of the diary tearing out and throwing into the fire one after another.
April 10, 1710
Alexander is dead, as is my soul. I'm losing my mine, I think. I hope. The creatures that killed him have made me into one of them. The sunlight that I loved so much, now hurts me. I drink blood to survive and for my survival, someone else hsa to die. I'm damned to hell for sure.
The worst part? I no longer care. I'm one of them now, a vampire, whether I like it or not. I should have no more restrictions concerning morality.
One day, I'll get my revenge.
May 6, 1880
Why do I bother to go on? Sometimes I doubt that it's worth it, revenge. I want it so badly, but what do I do? Nothing, and I hate myself for it.
October 3,1948
Alexander, my beloved brother, What do you think of me now? I rarely ask this question, but this is one of those reare moments. Alex, I think of him everyday, but I can feel him now. His morals, his judgement. In his eyes, I must be a monster. Some wretch hellbent on forgetting.
May 3, 2000
At last.
"Stop playing with me, Aubrey." Risika's voice shattered through his thoughts when she appeared beside him.
"Strange, isn't it?" He ignored her demand. "You claim to hate me so much, and yet I'm never mentioned here. Not once."
"You think I'd give you the satisfaction?" She challenged.
"Damn you, Risika." Aubrey slammed the book down onto the table. It was enough to startle her.
"What?"
"I love you." His words were met with a slap, which resounded throughout the room.
"No."
"Don't do this to me, Risika. Stop pretending." He grabbed her wrists, his frustration evident. "You can see into my mind, you know exactly what I feel for you."
"What more do you want? You've already ruined me, Aubrey."
"I did everything for you." He said. "If I had let you hold on to your dear family, to your humanity, you wouldn't have lasted a year and you know it."
"You did it all for yourself. I never wanted this."
"You were too damn beautiful, too brilliant to just wither away." He punched the piece of wall right beside her face. "I couldn't just sit back and watch."
Risika couldn't bring her eyes to meet his. Aubrey was crazy, he had to be. It went against his very being to show anything other than cool contempt. There was never love.
"It hurts, you know." He chuckled joylessly. "It's enough to drive me insane."
"Stop it." She pleaded. It was enough to drive her insane too.
"I would if it were possible."
Fin
