Disclaimer: Laurie Halse Anderson owns all.

Just Thank Me

Honestly, I was doing her a favor. Really, she should thank me for what I did. I mean, after all I saved her from humiliation and possibly despair. I mean really. If she even paid attention to what people said about her at all she would probably roll on the floor in front of me in gratitude. I was so nice about it too, dropping her that is.

I mean, I could have been a total bitch. I could have just told her to fuck off and never talk to me again just like Siobhan told me to. Siobhan told me that acting that way was the only way to get rid of freaks like Melinda. Siobhan told me that being mean is best because it's what discourages them the most.

But mom told me that I have to be nice to everyone, especially the weird people. And in this instance I have to agree with her. I mean, what am I going to do if Melinda brought a gun to school one day and started shooting people? I wouldn't want to die first, that's for sure. I'd want to be able to run away. So kindness is key.

And I did. I told her as politely as I could that we couldn't be friends anymore. I don't think she was offended, even though I couldn't really tell. With Melinda it's hard to tell if she's feeling anything, anything at all. She keeps her face as smooth as a block of cheddar cheese. All. The. Time. All the time.

She hardly talks too. I mean sometimes it was kind of nice because that meant that I could say everything that I want to say. Most people have to tell me to shut up, but I could tell that Melinda actually wanted to listen. Sometimes my dad even tells me to shut up for some reason, but then mom always slaps him and says , "George!" in my defense, which is always helpful. Glad to know that you're in my corner mom.

But anyway, that's not the point. The point is, she was one of the only people that listen to me. Siobhan and all of them, well, to put it quite frankly, the scare the hell out of me. They're so perfect and smart and funny and... well, perfect. They know absolutely everyone. With them I could be popular.

I could never be that with Melinda. People hated her, even though I don't know why. When I used to hang out with her at school occasionally I would hear people saying something about a party or the police or something like that, but that's just crazy. I mean, the police thing maybe not so much, but the party? Melinda Sordino at a party? Yeah-fricking-right. That's about like me going to to a serial killers house and yelling, "Kill me, kill me! You know you want to!" Yeah. It just doesn't happen.

Maybe it's just the way she looks. I mean she looks scary, with her lips all chapped and her face that doesn't show emotion. I mean, really. Get some chapstick or something girl! I tried discretely to give her chapstick or something to help with that, but I don't really think that she got the memo. She never used it, anyway. But she desperately needed it.

And don't get me started about her clothes! I mean, some days I don't feel like getting all dressed up and cutesy (although normally I am cutesy) all the time every day seven days a week, but come on! She desprately needs some color, or something. The only thing that she wears are pants that are too big for her and a gray or white shirt with a gray jacket over it that is WAY to big for her. It makes her look like a man that has eaten one too many Big Macs, if you know what I mean. I don't think that she does, though. She just eats whatever, and you can tell. I mean me, with my modeling and everything, I have to second guess what passes my lips every single time that I eat a meal, but not her! Oh no! She's Miss I-Can-Eat-Whatever-I-Want-Because-I-Don't-Care-What-Anyone-Thinks-About-Me-Melinda-Sordino.

And personally I think that's a bunch of bullshit too. She has to care about what people think about her. I mean, the way the acted at that pep rally and the way that she ran out... yeah. she might pretend that she's way too cool for school but she. Is. NOT.

She has this FUCK THE WORLD attitude, especially when she skips class. And what's up with that? God, she's, she's, she's just so freaking not normal that you would almost feel bad for her if she said something about it. But she doesn't, so personally I think that it's her own damn fault that I'm not her friend anymore.

I mean yeah, she could be a good friend, sometimes. I mean, she always sat with me at lunch even when I had no one else to sit with, and she was the only person who didn't laugh at me when she saw my braces, and she listened to me mope and cry and complain even though she totally didn't have to. And that friendship necklace that she got me was really pretty, even though I had to throw it away after it turned my neck green, but that at least shows that she has good taste. Most people don't even have that, sadly. The way she helped me out with the can thing was pretty nice of her too, even though that was a total bust. I thought that she was a good artist, but she really isn't that good. Art's all about perspective anyway, and I had the wrong kind of that before I met Siobhan anyway.

I mean, all of those things that she did for me were sweet and stuff, but not friendship material stuff. She didn't even try to invite me over to her house, and she didn't want to talk about normal stuff. She didn't want to talk about anything, period.

Really, it's better this way. Now Siobhan won't have to do it for me, because Siobhan would probably make her cry. Really, I was nice. Way, way, way nice. She should thank me. She probably doesn't realize it yet. I'll just have to wait for that, I guess.

But I still feel bad for her. How would I feel if she had dropped me? I probably, like, tripled her depression or something. Maybe I should get her a pick me up. But what? I know! I'll get her a Valentine! I mean, it's February, and that's one of the best things that I can do for her right now. Right?

A/N: Okay, really, Heather was one of the most annoying characters that I have ever written. Glad that's out of my system.