Disclaimer: I don't own Phoenix Wright or any of it's characters.

A/N: Just a little bored one day…and this scenario popped in my head. It's a little long but I think it's pretty funny. So please read anyway!

They were in Maya's bathroom. The medium figured Franziska needed a boyfriend. Edgeworth obviously wasn't interested. Maybe if she wore a little make-up, more guys would look at her. At least, that was Maya's way of thinking.

Franziska thought the entire thing was ridiculous. Why did she even go? She would probably have a better time throwing darts at a picture of Phoenix Wright, anyway…

Maya was going to give her the full course on make-up. "There's your foundation, powder, blush, eyeliner, mascara, eye shadow, lip liner, lip gloss, lip stick, eyebrow brush, and eyelash curler."

"Are you kidding me?" the von Karma stared at her in disbelief. "What in the world is the difference between lip gloss and lip stick? What foolish fool would use so many products?"

Maya rolled her eyes. "Lip gloss is what's used to make your lips shinier and taste good. Lip stick is what's used to make your lips a different color. And make-up is made to make people look better!"

The prosecutor glared at the medium. "Are you saying I don't look perfectly good without all these things?"

"Of course n-not! I'm saying that although you look awesome the way it is…there's always room for improvement! Let's start with foundation."

"Aren't foundations those things that spurt water?"

"No…those are fountains. Foundation is like cover-up. It covers any blemishes on your face. Like your mole, for example!"

"Excuse me? This is a beauty mark! And I would never want to cover this!"

"Well, you can at LEAST cover the zit under your nose."

"WHAT!?"

"Okay, here," Maya squirted a small dot of foundation on her index finger. "This is how you do it. You pick a spot on your face you want to cover up, and rub it in well." Maya picked her left cheek and did so nicely.

Franziska snatched the bottle from her hand and squirted a large dot on her finger.

"Um, Franziska, a small dot can do wonders."

"Shush, fool!" She put some on her nose and cheeks, rubbing it in very hard. As a result, her cheeks turned a bit reddish.

"Uh…that's good. But keep in mind to always use a small dot and rub it in lightly. It tends to work better." Maya now took a container and a large brush. She uncapped the container and there was a powdery substance in it. "This is powder. You use it after you put on foundation to make your face look less oily and hide the cover-up."

"What in the world is cover-up!?"

"You just put it on!" Maya yelled, irritated.

"No, I put on fountain."

"It's foundation, and they're the same thing!" Maya stuck the brush in the powder container and brushed it on her face. "Light strokes, like this. Your turn."

"I have to use the same brush that you put on your face?"

Maya sighed and washed the brush. "Now it is your turn."

Franziska took the brush and the powder and slammed it on her face, powder particles flying everywhere. Maya coughed. Although she didn't approve of her methods, Franziska did it correctly.

"Please try not to get the powder everywhere!!" Maya said, still coughing. "This is blush. After putting on foundation and powder, this gives your cheeks color again. I don't really think you need this, considering your face is pink enough from putting on fount- er, foundation."

"Why is my face pink?"

"Well, you rubbed it in really hard."

"So?"

"That irritates your skin and makes it red."

"My skin does not have feelings!"

"Um…" Maya knew this was an awkward moment, so she decided to demonstrate the blush anyway. "You brush this against the color you want, and sweep it across your face."

Maya took a smaller brush and a palette of colors and "dipped" the brush in a light pink shade. She stroked it over her cheeks. "What helps when applying blush is smiling and putting it over the 'apples' of your cheeks. It doesn't let you put on too much."

Franziska nodded and – without hostility – took the palette and the brush and copied what Maya did. When she smiled, though, it seemed quite evil and fake. Because it was.

When she finished, Franziska asked "But what if it looks like I'm blushing?"

"It won't. It's subtle." Maya replied. But then Franziska turned to her and Maya realized that she had put WAY too much on. It looked like she had spray-painted half of her face!

"Franziska, the goal here is to have a subtle color. Not to look like a graffiti wall."

"Excuse me?"

"Hey, it's true! This," she said, changing the subject and holding up a different object, "is eyeliner. It's made to put around your eyes to make them pop. It's really hard to put on, so watch carefully."

"I'm not a six-year-old, Maya Fey! Stop treating me like a little child!"

"Then stop acting like one." Maya uncapped the pencil and put it dangerously close to her eye. From Franziska's angle, it looked like she was applying it to the eye itself!

"What in the world are you doing!?"

"Shush! Just watch!" Maya turned to Franziska when she had finished applying it to both eyes. "I put it on the inside of the lower eyelid, you see. Now, to make it look even better, you should put it on the top eyelid too." She started in the inner corner of her eye and drew upward. Then she started again at the outer corner of her eye and drew upward and inward. "There. Done. Your turn. Be careful."

Franziska, very irritated, grabbed the stick of black and did her eyeliner in a matter of approximately 30 seconds. She turned to Maya and held her head high.

"Actually, you were supposed to put it inside the lower lid, not outside it." When Franziska sent her the death glare, Maya corrected herself. "I mean, it still looks good, but it would look better if you did it…my way."

Franziska fumed. "Not everything has to be done your way, you know! Try something different!"

"Given that I'm the one teaching you how to do things, I suggest you shut your trap!" Maya was no longer scared of this prosecutor and wouldn't be taking her crap anymore. But that didn't mean Maya couldn't be nice!

"Let's move on to mascara." She pulled out a black tube. "This is easy. Just start at the lower part of your lashes and sweep up. Do it a couple times for maximum effect." She handed the tube to Franziska.

"I'm not putting that chimney sweep on my face!"

"Why not? Do you really think this is big enough to be used to sweep chimneys?" When Franziska didn't reply, Maya nodded and smiled. "I thought so."

Growling, Franziska took it and finally, she did something right. Sort of. Her eyelashes had clumped together. Maya smiled. "It looks pretty good," she lied. But every beginner usually clumped in their first couple times applying mascara. "Now we have eye shadow. Gold is the new shade, and it would look perfect on you. You take this teeny tiny brush and run it over the color you want," she demonstrated with the palette of colors in front of her, "and run it across your upper eyelid a couple times, making sure to cover the entire thing. Here."

Franziska had gone WAAAY overboard. She ended up putting eye shadow from her temple to her sinus area, on both eyes, making it look like she had an enlarged, golden uni-brow.

Maya sighed and grabbed a washcloth. Franziska was starting to look like a foolish fool. She wetted the washcloth and was about to wash Franziska's temples when the German yelled, "What are you doing!?!?"

"You look like your eyebrows fused together and then got dyed! I'm washing some of your eye shadow off!"

"I'll do it myself, thank you very much!" She snatched the washcloth and washed her nose and temples.

"All right, good job. Let's move onto the lips. You can choose between lip gloss and lip stick. Since you're a beginner, I'd choose lip gloss."

"Maya Fey, I can apply make-up just as well as a professional could! Give me lipstick."

Maya groaned internally and handed her a pink tube of it. "There's not really much advice I can give you. Just…be careful, and try not to get any skin outside of your lips."

Of course, ol' Franzy had gotten skin outside of her lip. A lot of it. It was so bad that it looked like she had gotten botox. "Okay," Franziska said, "Now with lip liner?"

Maya laughed and immediately regretted it. "I just realized that I don't have any…sorry." Of course, it was a lie. There was no need for lip liner if your lip stick was already lining your lips.

Franziska rolled her eyes. "Why are you laughing?"

"You look like a child applied your make-up."

"Well then, whose fault is that?"

"What do you mean?" Maya asked, confused.

"You're the one teaching me, so this is your fault."

"Huh? You're the one who refuses to listen to me!"

"I don't take orders from anybody, Maya Fey!"

"And I'm not giving them! Now listen up!" Realizing what she did, Maya did a facepalm and stuttered "Uh…I mean…."

Franziska left, slamming the apartment door behind her.

Maya was confused. Why had she left? Maybe she was afraid of the eyelash curler…

A/N: Okay, I have a brilliant idea for another chapter…and possibly another chapter after that. Please review! CC is also appreciated.