I felt sad, bitter in fact

I felt sad, bitter in fact. I was standing on the edge of an abandoned building, it overlooks the coast and the wind feels cold, it's a little bit dusty, but it's usually the place where I usually problem and think about the wrong I've done or what others have done wrong to me…

I didn't know it would be the place where I would die.

One week ago

It was an ordinary six o' clock for me; the usual get up from bed, shower and eat before school, and the usual yelling and fighting parents. I pretend that I don't mind but I really do. I stuffed my books in my bag then carefully walked out, just so they can't see me leave.

I was now waiting for the bus while sitting on a bench. I wasn't only waiting for the bus, I was also waiting for her, the only person who would understand me, the only person who cared for me, Jane.

After few minutes of staring up in the bright morning sky, Jane came.

" Hi Jake!" she said, her cheery disposition seems to have blocked my gloomy face, and yeah, Jake's the name.

She sat beside me, her wavy blonde hair gently sat on her back and she seemed to have noticed me being sad, then her blue eyes seemed to have locked on mine, she had the concerned look.

"Were you parents fighting again?" she asked

"Yeah" I answered

"Don't worry" she said as she laid her hand on my lap "I'm sure it would work out"

A horn blared, it was the bus she offered her hand out, and I gladly held it. She slowly pulled me to the bus door and let me sit by the window; she does this when I'm down.

I was standing in front of the school the moment I got off the bus; I know this day would be fine enough. I was walking towards the school's wide yellow doors with her behind me then all of a sudden I blacked out…

I realized that I was stampeded by huge jocks, I forgot,. It was school spirit week; the jocks were shortly followed by the cheerleaders, which Jane was one of.

"Sorry Jake, I have to rush" she patted my shoulder and ran away from me in her cheerleader outfit, as I was gazing at her grace, when one of the cheerleaders bumped me, hard.

"Watch where you're going, freak" she hissed, and then she switched quickly to a happy mood, you know, the cheerleader mood, and ran towards the other cheerleaders.

People were running were running out for the school spirit week presentation but I didn't care. I was fighting the people who went the opposite direction then exhaustingly evaded the whole crowd. I watched around if some people were at some classrooms, but fortunately, found few. I was sitting on the art room, sketching how I feel like today, that's how I would say it, but for you it might be, what made me happy or sad today.

I was drawing my mom and dad fighting, both of them having demonic appearances, then I drew her, Jane, as an angel floating above me and all of my troubles. I sat there for hours but no one came in, probably because they're to busy celebrating outside. I was just shading in my drawings. I packed them in my bag and walked outside to grab a bite. I opened the door and saw her…with another.

She was kissing a guy. I was shocked to see her like this, I liked her, and I thought she liked me too.

But I was wrong.

Despite my great feeling of disappointment and rejection, I quickly turned away and she seemed like she didn't mind me. I ran to the boy's room and locked my self in a cubicle; I laid my head on the wall and silently cried. I pulled out my pencil and the sketch I had been working on, I drew angrily scratched out Jane's angelic image out of the paper then I furiously tore it to pieces then flushed it.

It was five o'clock in the afternoon, I missed the bus and am pretty sure that Jane's not here anymore. I went out the room and silently walked outside

As I was walking the way home, I thought of the times that she had been with me and tried to forget all of those. When I reached home, I undressed myself and I locked myself in my room. I didn't go to school for three days and Jane was messaging and leaving me calls until it came to a point that I had to turn my phone off. After three days of staying in I finally decided to show up. I got up at the usual six o' clock and waited for the same bus on the same bench, but didn't wait for her. She laid her hand on my back but I shook it off. She asked me what was wrong I didn't answer. As soon as the bus came, I went ahead of her, pretended that she wasn't there, and silently sat at the back of the bus. When I got out of the bus I walked my way towards the studio silently, I know I should've talked to her, I know I should've said how I felt like.

But I was too late.

It was the last day of the school spirit week, and I was there, in the studio drawing how I felt like again, and it was there where I decided…

To die.

When it was time to dismiss us I sat on the back of the bus again and asked the driver to drop me off near the coast, at an old building. Jane wasn't there, because she might be busy attending one of the parties.

The building overlooks the coast and the wind feels cold, it's a little bit dusty, but it's usually the place where I usually problem and think about the wrong I've done or what others have done wrong to me. I took my phone out and told Jane to meet me here at the building: I told her that it would be very important. After a few minutes she was there she came alone, fortunately. We were both standing on top of the building when she asked me what was wrong.

"I love you Jane" I told her "and I can't help seeing you with another"

"I'm sorry Jake" she said, trembling "I really am"

"No, it's okay" I said as I neared the building's edge.

I looked down, it was a long way.

"Jake" she said as her eyes suddenly swelled with tears "don't do it, please"

"What good is my life anyway?" I told her "with my family tearing apart, and you – you who I wanted to love more, only loved me as a friend"

I turned my back from her

And I jumped