Note-So, it's the first of December, that merry time of year when Christmas comes around! To celebrate, I'm writing a Scrubs version of "A Christmas Carol" by Charles Dickens. Unlike "Her Romeo, His Juliet" I'm actually going to finish this one! If you don't know the story, don't worry. If you do, there'll be surprise cameos later. So huddle round the fire, and enjoy! (Disclaimer: Own nothing, but there's a list of things on my profile that would happen if I did own Scrubs!)

Perry Cox sat in his office. His feet were up on the brand new mahogany desk, and he was leaning back in the brand new swivel chair. In fact, everything in this room was brand new. Ever since Kelso had bitten the dust a week ago, Perry had been appointed Chief of Medicine, and had gone on a massive spending spree with his ex-boss's pay. Even though the money mostly went to the new office, he was ok with it. He wanted every memory of Robert Kelso out of his hospital, from the framed painting in the lobby right down to the last pencil shaving. And now it was done, Perry laughed quietly to himself. The only thing bothering him was that someone was stealing medical supplies, but when Perry found out who it was they were gonna have their asses fired so fast…

There was a knock at the door, and Perry looked up to see JD's anxious face peeking in to the office.

"Um…hey, Dr Cox!" JD smiled, giving a little wave. He made his way into the office, and stood, looking around at the lavishly furnished office.

"Wow, this is nice, huh?" he asked. Perry glowered at him.

"What is it, Amy?" he asked. JD seemed almost frozen for a moment before he muttered something unintelligible.

"Speak up, Emily!"

"Why have you reduced my pay?" JD muttered. "I'm only getting like, 109 dollars a week, that's barely enough to feed my family"

Perry swung his legs off the desk, and leant forward towards JD. He could feel the exhilarating adrenaline of a rant coming on, and he took a deep breath before beginning the sarcastic retort that was sure to come.

"Well, gee, Newbie, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, see, I was just getting round to buying, say, a new MRI machine, or another truckload of medical supplies, are you getting this, but see with all the sick people and whatnot costing my hospital a fortune I had to cut someone's pay, so hmm what to do, what to do, and I ended up on you, and you may ask why, Perry, why is it so unfair, but guess what, Flora, life is unfair! Get over it!"

"But, sir…why me?"

"Well the answer's plain and simple there, Nell!" said Perry, picking up a sports magazine and beginning to scan it. "You are an annoying, whiny girl-child"

JD made to turn, and for a moment Perry thought he was leaving. But then his ex-protégé turned back again.

"Oh, and Dr Cox?"

"What now, Newbie?"

"Can me and Elliot have tonight off? It's Christmas Eve"

Dr Cox looked up in angry surprise.

"No, Newbie, no, no, no, you may nawt, it's bad enough I have to let you have Christmas day off but…"

JD had left before Dr Cox even started his next rant. Perry chuckled to himself, and flipped to the results section of the sports magazine. Ooh, the Red Wings had won again! Nice addition to Christmas! He looked up at the gold-embellished clock on the desk. It was six fifty. In just ten minutes he would be off his shift, and Newbie and Barbie would be starting. The whole prospect made him grin…

Suddenly, there was another knock at his door. He threw down the sports magazine in frustration, and grunted.

"What?" he yelled. In came a scared looking Ted, accompanied by an even more scared looking Doug.

"Oh, lookie here, it's Flop Sweat and Pee-Pants!" groaned Perry. "What do you want?"

Ted held out a sheet of paper with shaking hands. Perry snatched it, and began to scan it hungrily.

"What the hell is this?" he growled.

"It's a list of charitable donations from workers of the hospital" Ted explained. "To help underprivileged people get sufficient healthcare"

"We were hoping you could sign…in time for Christmas" added Doug.

Perry screwed up the bit of paper and threw it in the wastepaper bin. Then he turned back to the two men.

"Nervous Guy, listen up and listen good. Christmas is a fraud! It's the over commercialised birthday of someone who didn't exist! There are free clinics all over the place, and if the "underprivileged" don't want to go there then they can die and decrease the surplus population, because they damn sure aren't coming into my hospital unless they can afford it! Go on, get outta here!"

Doug and Ted made to leave. But then Perry noticed something and whistled, and the two men turned back to him, expectant looks on their faces. Perry motioned to the petition in the trash.

"Go on, boy! Fetch!" he said in a low voice that was almost a whisper. Reluctantly, Doug picked the crumpled paper out of the basket, and went out with Ted, Dr Cox laughing behind them.

"Bah Humbug!" Perry snorted. "In time for Christmas…yeah right!"

He got up, grabbed his bag from the hook, and walked out of the office, locking it behind him. As he left the hospital he was thrown evil glares from Carla, Ghandi and Barbie, all of whom had shifts that night. But the look JD gave him was one of hurt, not anger. Dr Cox just ignored it, and got into his gloriously intern-polished Porsche, and began the drive home.

He arrived back at an empty apartment. Jordan, Jack and Jennifer had left yesterday. Jack's toys were still scattered about the floor and…no. Perry couldn't bear to think of his children. Instead, he poured himself a scotch. And then another. And another.

Suddenly he saw something out of the corner of his eye, and he jumped. The shadow on the wall had, momentarily, looked like Dr Kelso's face. Perry looked up at the clock. It the second hand was ticking round to midnight. Perry counted down the seconds. Five…four…three…two…one…zero!

The door to his apartment burst open, and Perry jumped in his seat. There before him stood a man. A man clad in various size chains that trailed on the floor. A man Perry recognised. Robert Kelso.

"Hey, how ya doin?" Kelso grinned.

"Well look if it isn't Big Bobbo!" said Perry. Kelso looked confused.

"What's the matter, Perry? No surprise? I'm dead! Or was it so insignificant that you've already forgotten?"

"It was, Bobcat, but that's not why I'm not surprised to see you. You see, I am blind drunk, so Elvis could come knocking at my chamber door and I wouldn't turn a blind eye. The only difference is that if it was The King himself, I'd ask for an autograph"

"Touching speech, Perry. Guess what, I'm here to help you"

"Well thanks for the offer, Bobbo, but I'm just peachy!" Perry smiled.

"Mmhmm!" mumbled Kelso, unconvinced, staring at the empty scotch bottle on the table that had been full only a few hours before. "Of course you are!"

"Look, Bob, what do you want?" Perry slurred.

"I'm just gonna cut to the chase, Perry. You see these?" said Kelso, and he lifted up the heavy chains that surrounded him.

"How could I miss them, Beezlebob?"

"These chains were forged by all the bad things I've done in life. Every sick person I shunned, every cafeteria worker I fired, every last patient I killed, each stupid sin becomes a manacle!"

"Well, shouldn't you be able to fix that? You know, you being Satan and all?"

"I appreciate your kindness, Perry, but guess what?" Kelso said with an evil grin. "Yours is even bigger than mine!"

"This is the face of a man not caring!"

"Oh, but you will care when your forced to work the Earth eternally with chains miles longer than mine as a ghost!"

Perry turned to his ex-boss, his confident smile rapidly fading.

"Why would you care anyway?"

"Because, Perry, I'm not always the heartless guy you think I was. But guess what, there's a chance of redemption. You will be visited by three spirits tonight, and…"

"Thanks for the warning, Bob, but I'm gonna take off" Perry interrupted, and he got up off the couch. "You see, I'm so drunk right now, and you're not real, no matter how much you try to scare me. Nighty night!"

And with that, Kelso was left in Perry's front room. He cursed quietly, and vanished.