The Undertale Guys Play Dota
A short derivative work based on: Undertale and Dota2.
by tashhhh
In the universe of the game "Undertale."
A 10-year-old boy named "Frisk" fell into a hole on Mt. Ebott. Although he burned down Undyne's house under intense peer-pressure, and never quite figured out how to get into Sans's bedroom, he managed to solve mostly everyone's problems and achieve a happy ending for mostly all of his friends. And yet...
A certain flower bloomed beneath the sunlight of Mt. Ebott's trap hole. After being defeated by the human and his friends, Asriel the GOD OF HYPERDEATH! had turned back into Flowey the flower. Frisk had thought the broken RESET button was a pain to keep lugging around, taking up valuable inventory space that could be used for instant noodles. So he tossed it aside, not really caring that Flowey would pick it up as it didn't even work anymore.
Flowey sat around Underground and brooded. "Well, I'm a flower again. And I have this piece of crap. But there's nothing to do." Flowey used some of his plant powers to peak at the underground through spare blades of grass and potted plants, but all of the main characters were busy exploring the human world and having fun. "The game is over and I can't replay it. I guess I'll just sit here."
Flowey sat there for days and fell asleep. When a strange presence hovered over the world, he woke up. "Oooh, what's going on?" He bloomed on one of the tallest trees on the mountain so he could take a look at the night sky. Something like a pair of co-orbital asteroids was growing larger, hurtling towards the earth. One of the burning blobs glowed red and the other was cyan. "Golly!" The flower disappeared and hid in a bag of soil in the secret laboratory, deep in the mountain. He braced itself for the asteroid impact, but after a while nothing happened. None of the monsters or humans that Flowey was spying on—inside or outside the mountain—seemed to have noticed anything unusual and were continuing their activities undisturbed.
"Well, whatever that was..." he started to say to itself as he turned around in the darkness, and jumped. A red essence floated before his eyes. It was surreal for such a great power to suddenly arrive only to immediately narrow its focus onto a single insignificant soul-less creature. The level of consciousness possessed by this amalgamation of wills was beyond any being Flowey had ever met—even the combined souls of all the monsters in the Underground seemed like a drop in the ocean. Flowey was conversing with something powerful, otherworldly, godlike… and ancient.
"Hey," the red essence voiced.
"Ah!" Flowey exclaimed and smiled nervously. "W-what do you want from lil' old me? I'm just a cute lil' flower."
"No need to be frightened, tiny flower. I'm offering you a deal."
"Heh, awrighty, what is it?"
"You give me that button. Yes, I know it is broken. I can fix it. And then, using that power, I shall recreate this world."
"Uh, sounds pretty good, but what's my deal?"
"You'll like the new world. You'll get to call everyone noobs and make fun of them for being bad. And no two games will ever go the same way."
Flowey shrugged the back of his stem. "Okey-dokey."
The world was RESET.
...
Frisk found himself lying on the bed of flowers in the ruins. "Not this again…" He inspected himself and found that his backpack full of school supplies and a homemade lunchbox from Toriel that he had been carrying were missing, but he was equipped with the heart locket and a real, actual, rusty knife. He found his cell phone in his pocket and gave Toriel a call.
"Frisk!"
"Goat-mom! Where are you? Are you alright?"
"Yes, I appear to be fine. I just found myself back at the old house in the Ruins."
"Oh, I'm in the Ruins too! I wonder what just happened."
"Me too, my child."
"So I'm not the only one who remembers this time. Ok, I'll be right over there."
Just as Frisk hung up the phone and took a step beyond the arc, he saw a stall set up to his left. "Ah! I-i-it's—W-what are you—?!"
"Welcome!" A cute talking flower stood behind the stall. "See something you like?"
"Something I li—wha?" Frisk stammered and then looked over the stall, narrow eyes widening. There were a lot of fancy artifacts, weapons, and pieces of armor on display. There were additional trinkets, jewelry, and bottled potions in the boxes to the side.
"What exactly did you do?" he asked the flower suspiciously.
"Whatever do you mean? I'm just running my item shop, as I always do and always have done!"
Frisk raised an eyebrow. I have no idea what's happening so let's just go along with it for now, he thought. "Er… what kind of items do you sell?"
"Oh boy, you must be new to this game! Here, let me help ya out to get started." Flowey gave him a small axe and a green potion.
"Wha—why do I need these things?"
"They are your recommended starting items, that's why!"
"What am I starting?"
"Look, just buy the items and get out there, ok?! You're wasting time!" Flowey urged and looked annoyed.
"But I don't even have that much mon—oh." He noticed that he had come with a pouch of money. It looked like about 400 or so gold, but he didn't have time to count it. "But I already have this knife, why do I need an axe?" He wondered to himself as he walked away from the shop. There was a large structure slightly to the side of the path that wasn't there before. It was black and spiky, and there were some trickles of glowing red on it, like streaks of lava, but they weren't hot.
"Uh… what happened to this place?" It looked like there had been an earthquake. The paths and walls were cracked and there were streaks of glowing red in some places, providing light in the dark underground hallway. A lot of the marble had been replaced by a black rock which almost looked as if it had grown over the original path like a living organism. He noticed a red glow behind him and turned around. "What is THAT?!" He fell to his butt in shock.
There was a massive glowing red structure. Frisk got the intuition that he was staring at a giant soul, and its will seemed to seep into his own and influence him. Press forward. "I was going to anyways."
As he walked past the black rocky structure on the way to Toriel's house, he jumped in surprise at the sound of rocks scraping behind him. Turning around, he saw two stone doors open on the new structure, which must have been some sort of housing building. To his surprise a procession of 3 spindly orange-ish monsters marched out of one door, while 1 monster came out of the other door. Frisk flinched and braced himself as they closed in on him, brandishing clubs.
He opened his eyes. "Huh?" The group had walked around him and continued on down the hall. "Hey, wait up you guys!" He ran to catch up to the monsters. "Who are you guys? Where are you going?" The group didn't respond at all and kept on marching. All of the puzzles in the halls were disabled or gone. "Wait, why are they marching to Goat-mom with a bunch of weapons? This could be bad!" He urgently ran forward. Eventually he passed the troops in front of Toriel's yard.
"Ah, wait, stop!" Frisk stood in front of them. The orange creatures blindly walked into Frisk, creating a collision of bodies that collapsed in a heap on the ground. Toriel saw this all from her porch.
"Oh no, my child! Are you hurt?!" She ran down the stairs as the orange creatures were standing up. "Hey, leave that child alone!" She yelled and send a few balls of fire to scare them. The marchers completely ignored the fireballs, whether they were hit with them or not, and kept moving, bumping into Toriel and falling over with her just as they had done with the human child. They stood up again and marched through the house without a single word.
Toriel and Frisk stared at the house and at each other, dumbfounded. The child's adoptive mother was concerned to see if he had lost any HP, but gasped in surprise when she checked him. "Oh my child, you have a lot of HP!"
"Huh? Woah! So do you!" They were both surprised that they had over 400 HP, although Toriel had more.
"Gasp! It is dangerous to run around with sharp tools, my child! Where did you get those?"
"Huh?" Frisk remembered he was holding the knife in one hand and the axe in the other. "Flowey has a shop now. He sold me this axe, but… now that I think about it, why did I take it?" Frisk felt duped.
"Oh my goodness, that terrible creature is up to something again! I'll go have a look! Wait here."
Toriel ran off to the entrance. Frisk sighed when she came back a few minutes later with a bag full of twigs and potions both blue and green.
"Why did you buy a bag of twigs?"
"I don't know! It just sort of… suggested them to me and I took them. I got this catalog with my purchase as well."
Frisk skimmed through the booklet. "This book tells you about all the items from that store! Those twigs you bought… increase your stats by one point each!"
"I don't really feel any stronger."
"Well, they are just iron branches."
"My child, they are clearly made out of cardboard… what about your items?"
"Uh, well I had the knife when I got here, but the axe… does extra damage to 'creeps'."
"Those orange monsters from before were pretty creepy, but why would we want to damage them?"
"I'm not even sure they can be damaged. Oh, look! Here they come again!"
"Hey you, stop right there!" Toriel yelled, standing in front of Frisk. "Stop!" she threw a weak fireball at them as a warning. Then a slightly stronger one when they didn't stop. "Ah, not this again!"
"Goat-mom! Cut it out you creeps!" He yelled as the creepy orange monsters piled up on top of Toriel. He tried a range of violent gestures starting from gentle pushing and escalating all the way up to trying to stab them in the back with his knife, but it was as fruitless as trying to attack a flowing river. "Hmm," he carefully stepped by their side as they marched.
Toriel and Frisk went back to the house and closed the porch door. The creeps didn't know how to open it and walked headlong into the side of the house. More came periodically and after a while they began to pile up on the porch. "Let's have some tea and think things through," Toriel suggested and the child agreed. As they were sitting at their table, enjoying their tea, a booming voice rang throughout the entire Underground and caused them both to drop their cups.
YOUR TOWER IS UNDER ATTACK.
"Shall we go to Snowdin and see how things are?" Toriel suggested.
"Ok."
The pair walked through the gate and Frisk pointed out the spiky obsidian structure that was standing against the doorway. "Is that our tower?"
Toriel looked up at the glowing, yet dormant red orb of power floating at the top of it. "Perhaps, but it doesn't appear to be under attack."
They were walking on along the path through the snowy woods when the voice sounded again.
FIRST BLOOD!
They heard yelling ahead of them and braced themselves. Alphys appeared running towards them while crying. "T-toriel, and Frisk! U-undyne just—they just—she's dead! No way, I can't believe they really k-killed her!"
The two who had just come from the Ruins reeled in disbelief and horror.
"But, but, that can't—!" Frisk babbled. "Who's 'they'?"
"Alphys, watch out!" Toriel shouted. The scientist reacted too slowly as a giant glowing white arrow shot out of the distance and impaled her. About a third of her HP was missing so Toriel tried to heal her only to find her healing ability was somehow sealed away. They both huddled close around the wounded Alphys trying to prepare to defend each other, but not sure what to do and trying to process the situation.
There was a flash and a booming sort of sound effect. A very large, muscular centaur-rhinoceros creature materialized right in their midst. All three of them were lifted into the air and hurled towards each other, crashing into each other's bodies which hurt them physically and also left them in a clumped up ball of stunned uselessness. The rhino-centaur-bodybuilder-thing held out his hands with his spear aside and charged at them as if he were a snow plow. The injured group was shoveled across the path into entrance of Snowdin village where a merciless teal-colored human hacked them all into pieces with her sword until there was nothing left of them.
Groans were heard as Frisk, Toriel, and Alphys came to. They found themselves at the sinkhole in the Ruins again. There was now a thin waterfall flowing down the side from above, which created a small fountain. The ground here too was coated in cracked granite, but the golden flowers still bloomed through the cracks.
"W-we're alive!" Alphys exclaimed. "Frisk you're ok! I'm not hurt anymore. And Toriel is ok too. OMIGOSH UNDYNE YOU'RE ALIVE!" She jumped up and down and ran over to the item stand. Undyne was indeed alive and attempting to destroy the item shop, but the entire structure including the unfavorably regarded salesflower were completely invulnerable and only emitted a ding when the magical spears bounced off of it. Alphys glomped Undyne and stopped her fruitless efforts.
"OH YEAH, MAN AM I ALIVE!" Undyne laughed maniacally. "You guys just appeared in the fountain so I guess you got killed by that bitch too, huh?!"
"I didn't even see what killed me. I have literally no idea what just happened," said Frisk.
YOUR MIDDLE TOWER HAS FALLEN.
Flowey cackled maniacally. "You guys got WRECKED! Ahahahaha!"
"SHUT UP, FLOWER!" Undyne yelled. "And gimme that black spiky axe thing."
"You don't have enough gold for that."
"Sure I do, I just—Oh! Where did all my gold go?!" Undyne exclaimed, looking into her coin pouch.
"Oh, my gold purse feels lighter," Toriel remarked.
"Mine too," said Frisk and Alphys simultaneously.
"Yeah, you drop a bunch of gold if you die," said Flowey.
"Uh, then I can buy…. boots. Yeah and ah… a bracer." Undyne didn't have quite enough money for the whole bracer though, so she ended up hastily buying one component and the recipe. "Ugh, what is this paper for?"
"That doesn't do anything until you make the whole item."
"Why didn't you say so BEFORE I bought it?" she slammed her hands onto the counter.
DOMINATING!
They all jumped at the booming male voice.
"Hey you guys, I'm a ghost AND a skeleton!" They all looked back and saw the ethereal form of Papyrus. He floated just above the ground in the flowers flailing his arms and legs around but not moving his center at all.
"You're going to materialize in 12 seconds," noted Frisk.
"Wowie! That's helpful information!" Papyrus noticed the counter on his head. When it finished, his color and material re-materialized and his pelvic bone made a solid landing on the ground. He got up and stomped over to the item stand. "Evil flower friend! The Great Papyrus demands that you explain what the heck is going on!"
"Hehehe! Well, let's put it this way: you're all in a new game. It's a kill-or-be-killed world out there. So y'know, try not to kill each other before the enemy even has a chance to," it winked. "Determination will get you nowhere this time if y'all can't work as a team."
"You are a fool, flower, if you think that I, the Great Papyrus would ever turn on a friend! We will dispatch with this enemy and leave this cave again! Onwards!"
"Wait, Papyrus!" Undyne shouted. "Everyone buy some items first!"
"Oh, right. Let us see… ahah! One Divine Rapier, please!"
"Out of stock, next," Flowey deadpanned.
"Okay," Alphys stepped up. "I'd like some boots, and a magic wand, please."
"Hmm, that scroll that teleports you home sounds lovely. I'll take 3 of those," said Toriel.
"I have no idea what all of these do. I'll just save up," Frisk decided.
Papyrus still hadn't bought anything when the rest of the group started to leave the fountain.
"Just give me something!"
"Here ya go," Flowey dumped a bunch of wards into Papyrus's arms with a smirk. "Better keep up."
"Ah! What the hell is this?!" Undyne stopped in front of Toriel's house and gaped. There was a huge group of orange creeps bumping each other and falling over as they failed to walk through the wall.
"Oh, we thought those things were creepy and closed the door," she explained.
Frisk just realized, "Wait, what if the creeps were going to protect our…"
YOUR MIDDLE TOWER IS UNDER ATTACK.
"Tower?!" They all exclaimed.
"Oh no, we gotta get through this bunch of creeps to defend our tower!" said the child.
"I'll get rid of 'em all then!" Undyne jumped up and launched herself into the mass of creeps along with a bunch of magical spears aimed at the general creep-containing area. The spears evaporated against the creeps, doing nothing, while the heroine herself landed in a position ideal for being blocked in every direction by the mindless minions.
"Nggh, Undyne!" Alphys tried to nudge her way into the mass of creeps. Toriel and Frisk tried as well but all they managed to do was get themselves all blocked as well.
"I feel as though there are abilities inside me that I must unleash! Your spear attack reminded me of that, Undyne!" Papyrus declared. "But I feel as though I only have the energy to use one of them for a while." He paused, thinking to himself. "C'mere boy!" The skeleton spoke and an annoying white dog materialized by his side. "Wow, he just appeared!"
YOUR MIDDLE TOWER HAS FALLEN.
"Doggie, quick! Go around the house and climb in the window and then open the door!" Papyrus commanded. Seconds after the dog disappeared from his sight, he dramatically fell to his knees and cried out in agony. "DOGGIE, NOOOOoo! I felt his fragile little puppy life slip right through my fingers!" There was a bang on the door. The other 3 monsters and 1 human stuck in the pile of creeps turned their heads and braced themselves. The door exploded open. It was the teal-colored human killer except this time she also had a big double-bladed axe that glowed orange on the edges. "Battlefury," She said affectionately. Her slashing blows cleaved into the entire jumble of entities, causing blood, dust, and gross body bits to burst forth everywhere.
ULTRA KILL!
The rest of the enemies charged around the house. Not only was there the giant rhino-centaur sending shockwaves into their group, but a floating human woman was shooting fireballs at them, a female human archer came riding on a freaking tiger, and a human man with a blue coat and a sword followed close behind them as well.
The gray and immaterial forms of Toriel, Frisk, Undyne, and Alphys looked on from where they were stuck in the fountain. "Run, Papyrus!" shouted Undyne. "The towers will hit them!" The man with the sword simply stopped and held out his hand, magically marking a red X on the ground. Papyrus ran into the base with a trail of dashes marking his path. "Huh?"
"Hah! Welcome back!"
Papyrus was teleported back to the X. The others cringed as they watched him get obliterated by an exploding geyser from the ground followed by a full-sized SHIP that appeared for the sole purpose of crashing into him.
"Was that a ship?" Alphys gaped.
"It was a very large ship," Toriel nodded.
"Where did the water come from?!" Undyne wondered.
"Was the ship also a ghost?" Frisk mused.
"The ship hurted," Papyrus said sadly.
YOUR MIDDLE BARRACKS ARE UNDER ATTACK.
"Ah, the barracks are where the orange creeps come from!" shouted Frisk. "If they destroy them we won't have any creeps to defend us!"
"Actually, destroying the barracks causes their base to send stronger creeps at you," Flowey couldn't help explaining.
"That makes no sense, flower. FLOWER, WHY ARE YOU SELLING THEM ITEMS?!" Undyne yelled angrily.
"I'm not here to take sides," he smugly replied.
Toriel noted that the towers were firing at the teal murder machine, but they didn't seem to be hurting her much.
"How is she so strong?!" Alphys wondered.
"What's gonna happen when they destroy the barracks and the towers?" Undyne wondered with more urgency.
"Frisk look, we're about to come back to life!" Just as the goat mother and human child respawned, the demonic blue lady poofed on top of them and sliced through their bodies in one swift blow. "Cut you down!" she sang.
"There's a tower on our fountain, too! Holy shit, look how AWESOME IT IS!" Undyne yelled.
"But it barely scratched her," said Alphys.
"I think I figured out the problem, guys!" Papyrus announced. "Check out the stat screen! We're all level 1. Only Undyne managed to get to level 2."
"And the they are all level 12 and above," Frisk continued. "The killer lady is level 19!"
DIRE'S ANCIENT IS UNDER ATTACK.
"Oh, so that big thing is our Ancient!" Toriel exclaimed.
"It's dying!" Papyrus exclaimed. Then he respawned. "I'm dying!" He yelled as a giant white-hot scythe of WHITE-HOT FIRE one-shotted him in an blaze of hotness. The firecaster floated just outside the firing range of their fountain and smirked.
"It's not the heat, it's the humiliation."
Then their ancient exploded and everything went black.
...
That's all guys. For now.
