/phase i./
I wasn't sure when it happened.
Maybe it didn't happen at all. Things like this don't seem to have a start and an end, as if they can be defined by the methods of human measurement of time anyway. Somewhere along the line, it just began. Like creation, the origin of life. I could see it beginning, the little blurred lines of novelty around the edges of our meetings together, but my people and their safety are what come first. My personal life takes to the background, moping in the wintry corridors of my home, but I could care less until he came along.
They arrived on a particularly cold afternoon. Granted, it was always frozen where we lived, but something felt different in the air. Like change, but with an undercurrent of menace. As if the arrival of our new guests set fate in motion.
There were three of them – a girl, an older boy and one younger. The Avatar was unmistakable, even amongst the company of the beautiful girl and taller, much more intimidating boy. The tattoos of his deceased culture, a living relic to a life never lived, stood out remarkably, almost beautifully, against his pale skin.
His name was Aang. And he was to be the savior of the world…a boy who had not yet shed his childhood ways, had not yet grown into his own skin. He was dwarfed by expectation, by the hope we all invested in him, until he was filled with our faith and there was no room for himself. He walked as if lost, a wanderer who just happened to be passing through.
They were introduced, a feast held in their honor. The girl was Katara, a strong and troubled young woman who could not have been two years my junior. Sokka was her protector, her brother, who loved her so much he was simply bursting with affection for her. Aang was new to the world, holding that same bright-eyed look that infants had when they beheld the sky for the first time – much too big for a little person.
First impressions were kind to Sokka and Katara; I thought fondly of them. I liked Sokka even. He was funny and had the bluest eyes which held tight to a spark of animation. Doting and attentive, I let myself be distracted by him the first day following our meeting. The way the sun reflected off the fresh patches of snow that had fallen during the night and glanced off his lively, deep blue eyes made butterflies push insistently at my insides. His jokes were silly and his actions almost child-like, but worthy of high regard all the same. I liked him, but I wasn't sure of just how my affection for him would grow to be.
But a more quiet soul began to slip into my subconscious. Like air. Not like water, my native element that I could never bend, never truly familiarize with, but had always loved as if I had become one with its flow and its power and it would always be a part of me.
But like air…I couldn't see this entity. I could only feel it.
Diplomacy and the safety of my people came first, though. I let myself be distracted from this strange presence through dealings with the Avatar and his importance to our survival. To the world. He said little during these discussions about his destiny, of what was expected of him by me as the leader of the water tribe and by the world itself. But he seemed afraid. He appeared distracted by his own sightings of shadows in the back of his mind. The shades of war, of fear, of failure.
I didn't think much of his sad-eyed silence, only attributed his lack of involvement in the conversation as immense focus or the effects of an intelligent mind at work, and it was a meditation that I dared not break. Whosoever disturbed or otherwise upset the Avatar's sense of peace and equilibrium was a sorry individual indeed. Though he did not seem the violent type, I still feared him, and rightfully so. Everyone did. It was a sort of protocol – the Avatar is not one of us. He is the earth and he is the beyond. We must treat him with the respect that he rightly deserves.
Something about him pulls me in and to this day, this day which marks the seventh day since his arrival, I can't pinpoint its origin. He was like the moon. I was the compliant and curious tide, pulled in and out by the magnetic power which radiated off him like a silver glow.
I wanted to know him better. Like I knew Katara. Like I knew Sokka. They had become my friends.
But Avatar Aang remained distant. The star furthest away from my reach in the night sky.
/phase ii./
"Avatar Aang."
He turned away from the balcony, eyes alight with surprise. I bowed in his open doorway.
"Princess Yue," he replied, moving from his current position and being momentarily engulfed by the hungry gloom. "I'm sorry…I wasn't expecting you."
"Of course, Avatar, but if I may, might I request an audience with you?"
He reached the door, bowing in return to me. "Yes, I'd be honored. Come, join me at the balcony…we can have our privacy there."
I followed him into the still night, the sound of the waves lapping against the icy shore echoing from far away. He appeared out of place in his water tribe clothes, the thick blue fabric at odds with my own stubborn image that I had created for him, just as I had created for Sokka and Katara. When I thought of her, I thought of the strength and life-giving abilities of water, of blue. For Sokka, I always thought of the flash of silver, his thick black boots. Aang had become the warm brown hues of the long lost Air Nomad culture to me…a part of me mourned the misplaced color of their eulogy, but it was too cold for them.
His hood was propped over his tattoos, his lips an odd shade of pink tinged blue. But he appeared to be ignoring the cold, focused on the horizon. The future.
"You miss them, don't you?" I asked.
His head snapped toward me. "What? Who?"
"Your people. You miss them."
"Yes." His voice dropped to a whisper. "Yes, I miss them."
He turned on me suddenly, as if torn from a pleasant dream and forced to face cruel reality. "Forgive my boldness, Princess, but what are you doing here?"
"The council has decided that Master Pakku will teach you to waterbend. He is the best we have and I am proud to say that I have faith in his ability to teach you everything you need to know to take your first steps in defeating the Fire Nation. I thought I'd bring you the good news."
He smiled, but it was a far away expression, as if he had left his heart out of it completely. "I am sure he will be a great teacher. Thank you for delivering the message."
It was silent a moment and I watched as Avatar Aang's gaze never left the dark seam which separated sea from sky. I made a light bow to take my leave, seeing that I might have overstayed my welcome, and turned to make my way quietly to the door.
"Is that the only reason you came, Princess?" He suddenly asked.
I did not turn to look at him. "As a leader, yes. I came only to tell you that you will start your training tomorrow morning with Master Pakku. But as a friend…no. That is not the only reason I came."
He looked at me, his muted countenance hopeful and trusting. "You consider me a friend?"
I offered a reassuring smile. "Yes, I do. And I would like to get to know you better, if that is all right with you, Avatar Aang. You may be the only one who has the power to save us from the Fire Nation, Avatar Aang, but you are not alone in your journey. Many will put their lives on the line when the time soon comes to help you…including me."
He looked down at the ice-encrusted stone floor, a gentle sign of gratitude.
/phase iii./
"The Fire Nation will not wait, Princess. I am sure that I speak for the rest of the council when I say that they are in pursuit now, readying their first strike on our tribe. We must not rely solely on the Avatar; he will not be ready in time for their attack."
Anouk was a kind elder, a master waterbender. He had the best interest of the tribe deeply embedded in his heart and it was all he lived for – keeping the Northern Water Tribe safe from invaders, from harm. All of his life, he had guarded the city, praying to the spirits of the moon and of the sea that it would never have to come to violence. Now, he was blind, relying on his instincts to contribute to meetings, and I usually agreed with him. He had prayed for peace as long as he could remember, but now that the Avatar had returned and the insatiable drive of the Fire Nation had been awoken, he knew it was not possible. He would have to fight.
This was the first time since the fish famine some years ago that I had opposed his good opinion; I could only hope it would be the last.
"I believe in Aang and his abilities, Master Anouk," I replied. "He will keep us safe."
Anouk shook his head and stared blankly at the floor, his ears perked in my general direction.
"We mustn't draw hasty conclusions, either good or bad, concerning the Avatar," Acotas interjected brazenly, always the most opinionated of the council. "My opinion is that we wait for Master Pakku's report on the boy's progress, not on our beliefs or our instincts. But Anouk is not wrong, Princess Yue, in saying that we should not invest all our hopes in one child. It is dangerous…we must ready our troops for battle, if it come."
"I respectfully disagree that Aang is a child, Acotas, and I think we should invest as much hope as we have in him. He is, after all, the Avatar. He has kept us safe for centuries. Why should we doubt him now?"
"What of Avatar Roku and his failings?" Tapa chimed in angrily. The elder's bushy white brows knitted and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Did he keep the world safe from the Fire Lord Sozin's invasions? And what of this…this Avatar. Aang, as you call him. Where was he the last one hundred years of suffering, of war and death and violence? The boy ran away from his duties! We should not trust him! We should not rely on the Avatar for anything! We must rely only on ourselves."
"While the Avatar is powerful enough to defeat the Fire Lord and return the world to balance, he is only human. We must remember that he is just as mortal as we are…he needs our trust and our faith in him."
The council was my sounding board, my different thoughts splayed out before me in the form of living, breathing beings. But it was Anouk's opinion I valued the most…he was the thought which mirrored my inner self the most accurately.
"Master Anouk, what are your conclusions? What do you think we should do?"
He sighed, his face drawn and worn from years of living in a war-torn world. "I believe we should ready a select few, only the masters. I shall withdraw my opinion that we should put novice waterbenders on the battlefront and invest my faith in our tribe's security, instead, in the Avatar."
Many muttered petulantly under their breaths as I adjourned our meeting.
They did not trust Aang. But I did…with all my heart.
/phase iv./
It was night, long since fallen in star-pricked sheaths across the sky, but the moon was new. A black mask indented into the dark blue milieu. Aang was standing beside me. It was the only time we could afford to spend with one another to nurture our young friendship. Days were spent in council meetings and practice, preparing for the war which had not yet reached the shoreline of the Northern Water Tribe. Many believed it would not come here, that it would not come to bloodshed and death.
Aang was not one of them.
It occurred to me, briefly, while Aang was standing before the scene in awe of what lay beneath his feet, that I had begun to call him by his given name. For days, the entirety of the seven he had been here, I had called him Avatar, creating an air of formality between us that I thought I would never be brave enough to break. But here I was, referring to him informally in front of the council…even to myself.
I smiled inwardly, encouraged by the small steps our friendship was taking. Because as suddenly as it occurred to me that I called him Aang…
I realized he had begun to call me Yue. Not Princess, not your Highness, not Majesty of the Northern Water Tribe. Simply Yue…as if I was just as much a mortal, a feeling being, to him as he was to me.
"Yue, this place is beautiful," he murmured distractedly, his eyes drinking in the sight which surrounded him.
"It is, isn't it? This place is like home to me…I visit it often to pray to the moon spirit. To thank her."
Aang looked at me, half surprised, half curious. "Thank her for what exactly?"
"For saving my life."
It was a subtle invitation I hoped he would catch and he did, gracefully easing into the warm grass beside me as I sat cross-legged before the sacred pool, in which the black koi and the white koi swam in circles around one another, as if chasing each other's tails. As a young girl, I had wondered why they followed one another so devotedly, so closely, but as I grew older, I began to understand that this was the epitome of immortal love. He was part of the moon, and she was a part of the sea. They were each other's missing half, completing one another in their eternal dance.
"How did she save your life, Yue?"
I sighed, inclining my head for a moment as I gathered the materials for my age-old story. A little memory, a dash of melodrama, the appropriate costume for my tone of voice. Every last fiber of my being, from the depths of my soul to the shallows of my skin, was in debt to the moon spirit. She was my reason for living and I would repay her someday…for her great and selfless gift.
The story was relayed to him and, always the attentive listener, Aang held onto every word and tucked them all safely away in his mind as I told him of my sickness. Of my death, my parents' grief. How the spirit of the moon filled her great silver lungs and imparted to me her breath of life. She was a part of my existence that I could not ignore, could not deny, and it was because of her that I sat there now, beside a friend I would have never met if not for her.
I was grateful.
For the spirit's mercy.
And for Aang himself.
/phase v./
Something was shifting between us, but I couldn't understand what it was. Distance was the only tangible change which I could feel settling like a rift that had first served as a connection for us, but not only divided us. He slipped a little further out of my grasp each day. I concentrated on my council meetings, my reports with the guards, the scouts I had begun to send out each day to watch the icy coast. I buried myself so deeply in work that I couldn't tell where it ended and I began. It had only been a month since he arrived. He was making good progress in his task and so was I.
And I expected, an observation I made based on what little I heard of him from Katara, that he was burying himself in his work as well. It was not a wonder he was excelling at all.
In little more than a week, we had been strangers. We had been acquaintances. Partners. Friends.
Now, we were little more than remote memories. Recollections of a history that still seemed so near, yet felt as far away as the dawn of time.
I reverted back to my old habits.
The Avatar has made good progress. Master Pakku is quite proud of his current advances in their lessons.
And while he was no longer Aang to me, it hurt.
It was when he attended his first meeting with the council, his expression was indifferent, even blank when he walked through the arched door, that I suspected something strange about the way he looked at me.
His face was the blankest page, but his eyes held a sonnet of strained sentiment and longing.
/phase vi./
It was after the meeting that I saw him there, standing at my door between two massive sentries. I nodded gently to dismiss them back to their post and they left wordlessly, leaving Aang in their wake. He looked desperate. I looked inappropriately dressed…my hair liberated from its embellishments and rendered plain white, even against the blue sleeping gown I wore.
We both looked at one another for a long moment, no pleas, no apologies, not even a ghost of a whisper to cross our separate paths. Between the wall, the miles of distance we'd put between us. I'd missed him. It was a sickening feeling, but I swallowed it as best I could and invited him inside, hoping the informality would give him courage enough to speak. He bowed gently and accepted. The door groaned as it closed behind him and I followed him to the end of my sleeping mat, counting the ways this was considered inappropriate and even unlawful in the eyes of my people and our customs.
But I lost count after a few moments. They were innumerable.
"Aang, why are you here?" I asked softly, guiding him to sit on the elevated pile of furs at his feet. "Is something wrong?"
"Yes, yes there is something wrong," he swallowed hard against something in his throat. I could only guess it was fear. "You're so beautiful."
It struck me as odd that should this be wrong to him, but remembered our different cultures. Perhaps his people looked down upon beauty…not that I ever considered my features neither striking or unsightly at all. Just skin and the solid structure of bone beneath the surface.
But coming from Aang's lips, my appearance suddenly became important. As if it meant something for once. Affected the outcome of my decision and his opinion of me.
"And…this is the conclusion you came to?"
An epiphany struck him almost dumb for a moment. He shook his head and looked down at the floor, blushing ferociously. "Well, no…and yes. I mean – I-I don't mind looking at you. You're uh…attractive I guess. But uh…but yes. There is something wrong that involves you, not necessarily the way you look."
He was nervous, poor soul. I chuckled, hoping to alleviate the strain which was ingrained into his young forehead.
"Fine, I'll just come out and say it," he said, and took a deep breath. His eyes met mine. "I love you, Yue. And not just because you are beautiful. And not just as a girl that…that has caught my attention, but as a friend. As I love Katara and Sokka. Like family."
My heart sunk a little at the last part of the confession, but I listened attentively. Just as he had before, when I told my story. It was his turn, no matter how disappointing I knew the ending would be.
But just as I had convinced myself he didn't feel the same way I felt for him, he lifted his trembling hands and they paused only for a moment before they brushed past my cheeks and he tangled his long, agile fingers in my hair.
"I tried to stay away from all of you at first, telling myself that loving anyone is dangerous. I had already lost so many loved ones to the Fire Nation. How could I stand to lose anymore?" He tilted his head and staggered over his words a little, his hands jerking as if they wanted to let me go, but he remained steadfast. Even as I knew my expression of complete and utter astonishment must have been alarming to him. "But I realized, Yue, that it was useless and selfish of me to pull away like I did. Katara and Sokka are like family to me. You guys are all I have left in the world and if I lost you guys and never told you how much I cared about you, I would regret it for the rest of my life. However long that might be it…it would be an eternity knowing you or Sokka or Katara had left me without knowing."
"Aang, I-"
"No, please, let me…let me tell you this. I have to tell you or else I'll never have the courage to say how I feel." His voice was but a whisper now. My fingers had unconsciously begun to wrap around the fabric of his thick Water Tribe overcoat. Instinctively pulling him closer without even letting me know what my own hands were doing.
"Yue I…I'm in love you. And not just like a sister. Like…like someone I'm attracted to and can't live without and I can't…breathe when you're around," he said it breathlessly, as if to emphasize his point. His wide brown eyes glistened in the intruding moonlight, sliding away from the shock of my white hair and fixing themselves on my own unwavering gaze. "Please…Yue tell me the truth. Tell me that I'm not alone in this. Tell me that you love me too."
He had begged me to tell him, but I couldn't. I couldn't speak, even if I wanted to, from the lack of air in my lungs. From the lack of feeling in my body at all. It was as if I was the moon spirit herself, formless and made immortal by her love for the sea. But in the place of the vast, watery plains of the ocean, my missing half was fashioned of the wind. The spirit of the sky wrapped in his human guise.
I loved Aang. And I wanted him to know it as surely as I did.
My fingers released the hem of his overcoat and reached for him instead. His skin was soft and compliant like silk beneath my hands and though it was not the first time I had ever felt the overwhelming rush of longing and want and need, it was certainly the strongest wave of this emotion yet. I brushed my lips against his and deepened the kiss as his mouth parted, a sigh filling me up from the bottom of my warm, pooling stomach.
It seemed impossible to even think. Instinct blossomed in the place of coherent thought and I guided his lithe body to the mat, his back colliding with the plush furs. He was uncertain and scared and I could feel the fear pulsating down into the very roots of his being as I moved slowly over him, but his lips had found skin and he'd begun to suck gently. A gasp. A heated kiss. I lead his hands to the clasp of my robe and with trembling, eager fingers he undressed me.
I misplaced all ability to think logically and, in return, my hands lowered to the hem of his overcoat again.
We were both inexperienced lovers, and with his fumbling gropes and my broken sighs we filled the other up as best we knew how. But like the moon and the sea, we found the secret rhythm which united us as it united them, and he cried out against my neck as two became one…and I lost myself in the commanding force of his warmth and his cries and the fragments of my name that lay in pieces on his lips.
He devoured me slowly and I listened to the collision of the moon and her beloved sky.
I didn't know it would be our swansong…the first and last of its kind.
/phase vii./
They were here.
We'd known they would come. That they would find him here. But the preparations we had made were not enough. The moon was an orb of ghostly red in place of the gleaming silver sphere she had once been, a gaping wound in a bleeding sky. Aang was gone, in the throes of battle, wreaking unimaginable havoc on those who threatened our world. Only Katara and Sokka remained behind to watch in awe as his power was unveiled as no longer merely an idea, a dream, but a realization…a truth.
He had known his duty, what he had to do. Now it was time that I yielded to my own fate…one that would separate me from Aang and Sokka and Katara for eternity. But I couldn't let them win; I couldn't let them take my people into the merciless hands of slavery. The world would have its moon...she would return and I would make sure of it.
Sokka held onto his exhausted sister protectively, watching suspiciously as I approached the firebender who held the corpse of our beloved moon spirit.
"Say goodbye to Aang for me, Sokka," I said to him, feeling the tears begin to push and pull at the walls of my restraint. Breaking them down softly. One doubt and fear at a time. "I know what I have to do now. I know my part in this war."
Before he could stop me, before he could reach me, I touched the cool scales of the white koi and felt something like the feeling of drowning spread through me. I was given one last breath.
And she smiled on me, the moon spirit, before taking it away.
And the cycle begins again.
An eternal dance.
I will edit this later. For now, I must sleep. It is late!
Author's Notes: I don't see many stories about Yue. And from what I hear, her character has been promoted to the main leader of the NWT in the movie. I'm fascinated with the glimpses of the characters we see in the trailers, so this is the result. I apologize if the intimate scene was in any way offensive to you, but it was one of the parts I wished to explore in a possible Yue/Aang relationship. She is older than him by 3 years, yes, but not exactly more mature. And, having been 16 once and knowing what it was like being attracted to someone in that way, I figured it was natural for her to explore that feeling. Aang probably not so much at first, but gradually becoming more intrigued and involved in it. So...there's my two cents.
Thank you so much for reading. I will reply to the reviews I have received in the last few days as soon as I am able, but I've been busy so I have neglected my manners. I apologize profusely.
disclaimer - I do not own Yue, Sokka, Katara, Pakku or dearly beloved Aang. They belong to Mike and Bryan, whom I thank excessively for creating such wonderful characters to write.
