Nearly. I'll always nearly be there.
neverland.
I can close my eyes tight and imagine the colours of her sky dancing around like the fairies that inhabit the land.
I can reach out and feel my fingers engaging in the waterfall trickling down from the cliff face above me and I can feel cold and free.
I can jump from a high surface and for one split second, I swear I was flying.
I can pick up a stick and wave it around, and suddenly I'm fighting captain hook and his entire crew. My intricate steps so graceful as they defeat the men one at a time.
I can hold my breath and I am with the mermaids, watching the lost boys from afar in admiration of who they wish they could be.
I can fall asleep and there I am. I am on front of the motherland where my heart and home truly lie. Where I can be free and where adventures never die.
But then I wake up.
My eyes open and the sky is grey and solemn yet again.
I'll pull back my hand as it begins to sting in realization and it is dry and boring.
I'll land. I don't land. I fall. Because I can't fly, and a split second can be a forever but it's never long enough.
Eventually the stick will collide with something. It will snap and fall to the ground and I have lost the battle and the pirates would have me.
But then I must breathe. I will gasp for precious air that is dirty and unclean very much unalike the pearl water I glided through with the mermaids. There is no one to admire above the surface. I look outside3 my window and people are fighting. They are screaming, and they are killing each other.
I will wake up. It will all have been a dream. Make believe. Because I grew up too fast. The world forced me to leave neverland at the tender age of eight and her gate will never let me in again.
I run.
I try to find my adventure but then people tell me I'm either too young or too old.
I don't want to grow up. Because to the contrary of what these people think, they are not living. They are just barely surviving.
And one day I must join them. One day I can never see or feel her soils again.
Because I won't believe.
