Dean was looking at the pale light that was coming from the passage into his dark room under the door. He was restlessly shifting from right to left on his bed. It was for more than one hour. He tried listening to his favorite music but sleep was not going to present itself tonight. He had that nightmare again. Well, it was not a nightmare as it happened in reality and since that day he had seen every single thing that had happened that day, every night. He knew that it will haunt him for the rest of his years or at least what was left of his years. He knew that he will never be back to his formal self again, he was just existing for the sake of existing.
He heard footsteps that were coming towards his door and his hand went to reach for his gun under his pillow. "The bunker was supposed to be safe", he thought to himself. A shadow stopped in front of his door, there was no knocking sound, and someone paused but then moved away. He instantly knew whose shadow it was and his muscles relaxed a bit. He exhaled and got up from his bed. He went to the kitchen and as he suspected Cass was there who was warming some milk.
"No sleep again?", the angel friend asked.
Dean did not answer; instead, he opened the fridge and got a beer. Castiel watched him with concern in his eyes, and then asked again," how long do you think that you'll be able to live like this?" Dean took a sip from his drink, rolled his eyes and tried to avoid the conversation by saying, "milk for Jack?", he motioned towards the almost boiled over milk and Cass turned hurriedly to turn off the burner. He poured the milk in a glass without spilling it. Dean smirked and said, "Look at that! You are a fully-committed dad now!"
Cas smiled, wiping his hands on a towel, "You can't-fool me, Dean, you are trying to change the subject." He looked up from his hands to Dean's face who was staring at his feet. "Yes, Jack woke up screaming in his sleep. I talked with him for a while and came here to give him some milk. Sam once told me, how John used to warm milk for you boys when you could not sleep." Dean's head shot right up at the mention of Sam's name. Cass continued to say, "it was probably his fondest memory of his father", he paused for a moment and realization came to him, he quickly looked at Dean who was looking at him blankly. There was nothing in his eyes. It somewhat scared Cass, it was like a void behind his beloved friend's eyes.
"I am sorry". The mortified angel said.
"No need to apologize Cass. And yeah you are right. It was Sammy's brightest memory of our father. He always appreciated the father who cared for us, not the father who dragged our asses from town to town. Especially as he grew older, Sam could remember dad and tried to forgive him." Dean looked away. It was too hard...
"Jack woke up screaming again, huh?", Dean asked.
"Three nights in a row, I tried to console him Dean, but witnessing a death...a death of a parent is just too much." Dean knew that more than anybody. " He will be okay, maybe not today, not tomorrow but eventually he will be."
"You should talk to him", said Cass. "I know", he took another sip from his beer, "I know Cass, I just don't know what to say when even I can't believe it still today."
A shrill sound broke the conversation...
