oh LOOKIE! its me trying to write a parody! i got this insane idea whilst standing at the till being bored at work last weekend, so i wrote it on the back of a receipt and here it is! i hope you like it.

PS. i dont own anything or anyone. and with that, we will begin...


Yes it is I, the narrator. Most of you will recognise me as that perfect voice with the British accent, that is neither male nor female, but whichever tickles your fancy at the time… er, let's not go there. And now, we will begin… (Cue the fairytale music) A long time ago, in a place far, far away…(Stop the fairytale music) Scratch that – it wasn't THAT long ago, or THAT far away. (Start the fairytale music.) Not-so-long-ago, in a place not-so-far-away, there lived a beautiful young servant woman…

That beautiful young servant woman, who lived not-so-long-ago in a place not-so-far-away, was named Cameron. Well, actually her name was Allison and her last name was Cameron, but in fairytales no one has a last name. Besides, Cameron sounds better.

So her name was Cameron. She lived not-so-long-ago in a place not-so-far-away. But if you wanna get REALLY specific, she lived in the Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital, on the fourth floor, in a supply closet.

Every day she would wake up, leave her supply closet, stretch (an impossible feat while you're still inside the supply closet) and clean. No one ever goes to the toilet or bathes in fairytales unless something exciting or kinky is going to happen. Nothing kinky or exciting ever happens to Cameron. But in fairytales no one pisses themselves or stinks, so it all evens out nicely. Isn't it great when things do that?

Anyway, Cameron had a problem. No, she didn't have a zit on her chin, no she wasn't having a bad hair day, no she wasn't bloated from PMS – coz we all know those things are SO impossible, right girls?

No, she was in love with a handsome doctor, Sir Gregory. But sir Gregory didn't even know she existed. He and his Noble Steed Wilson were much too busy saving lives to bother with a young servant woman like Cameron.

Cameron let out a dramatic sigh.

"Sigh!"

And threw her scrubbing brush in the bucket. She was kneeling in the corridor and her knees were soaked with soapy water, but she didn't care. They would be dry for the next scene anyway. Now that her usual chores were done, she needed to report to her boss and receive some unusual chores, and probably some verbal abuse. Physical, if she was lucky.

Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy sat perched on her Big Royal Chair at her Big Royal Desk with a Big Royal Crown atop her Big Royal Hair. She had been pretending to write stuff so it didn't look like all she did was sit on her Big Royal Chair at her Big Royal Desk all day.

Cameron and her dry knees walked meekly (one of the few expressions the oppressed servant girls are allowed in fairytales) up to the Big Royal Desk and recited her lines.

"Your Royal Highness, I've done my chores," she announced, although it was more of a stutter than an announcement. But in fairytales, stutters are uncool, so we must pretend she has confidence.

"Very well. Now, you shall stand there while I think of something else for you to do." Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy said royally.

But as she gazed at herself in her Big Royal Pocket Mirror, her trusty sidekick Foreman (we will stick with Foreman, coz that's all I can think of right now) stepped out of the shadows and cleared his throat, which meant they all had to stop what they were doing and listen.

"Ahem. I believe that is my cue." He said in his most posh voice. "I have an invitation for the Royal Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital Ball tonight, your Highness. Sir Gregory will be attending, and it is important that you attend, as someone has to stand in the way of Cameron's quest for true love."

Cameron looked utterly confused. "What quest for tr-" Foreman lunged forward and unceremoniously flung her into the shadows where she could no further damage the plotline.

Her Royal Majesty Queen Cuddy peered over her Big Royal Pocket Mirror, and picked a Big Royal Chunk of Lettuce out of her Big Royal Teeth. "Very well." She announced royally.

Meanwhile Sir Gregory, handsome healer of disease and breaker of hearts, was ridding the world of Bowser's evil wrath on Super Mario. No, heroes can never escape from their duties.

"Oh bother" he sighed when the batteries fell out at the last level.

Wilson, his ever-loyal Noble Steed, took the conveniently presented opportunity to trot into view and offer today's advice.

"There's a ball tonight. You should go." He said while scratching his rear end.

Sir Gregory also had to relieve an itch on his backside. "Why?" he demanded. The itch was very persistent.

Wilson shrugged and switched arms to give the other a rest. "Something about saving the world and falling in love with a young servant girl."

Sir Gregory dropped to the floor and began dragging his butt along the carpet. "Is she hot?" he panted.

Wilson nodded enthusiastically while scratching his ass with a ruler. "Oh yeah." He gasped.

Sir Gregory stopped what he was doing and stuck his finger in the air like he had just found the meaning of life.

"I'll do it!" he announced.

TBC


so, tell me what you think! it was going to be a oneshot, but i thought 'nah, i might as well make it a few chapters long'... actually i kinda ran out of steam. you gotta be in a particular kind of mood for this sorta thing. i have it all mapped out in my head, and on the back of that receipt, so never fear! i will have the rest up and running soon.

and for all you chase-fans, he will make an appearance :evil laugh: