Disclaimer: I does not own anything here, that belongs to square enix and other such lucky people who is, like, well rich. Big up your selfs and don't send da fuzz round, 'right? Peace out, shout out to me peeps! gets shot by the anti- chav militia
(A/N: I'm back! And this time I've shifted to the realm of FF7. My first fic for along time and in third personage too, so forgive the grammar I is not liking the third person muchly. Anyway, this has hints of Shounen ai (Cid/Vin) and two odd ships' Cloud/Yuffie Shera/Barrat… hehehe this is a comedy with lots of strong language so sit back and enjoy. Meows and Pies!)
Stuck in the Middle
By The Redundant Goddess…
What's Up With Her!
Thwack!
Schoom!
Cachung!
Schwip!
WALLOP!
"You know Cid, she's been here nearly two days and she hasn't said much."
The blond pilot sank into his chair and sipped his tea regarding his dark haired friend's words with agitation.
"Yeah I know." He grunted.
"Actually, she hasn't said anything. Not word."
" Yeah, I know." Cid was beginning to wish he could drown himself in his tea.
" No demands, no insults. Nothing." The gunman mused. "Not even a 'ya dirty old bast…'"
SMASH!
"Yeah, I fucking know okay Vince!"
The kid had turned up in rocket town a couple of days ago and had been staying at Cid's ever since. Not that her turning up out of the blue and staying at his was considered weird. She often dropped in on him unannounced, called him names, ate his food and generally made a right nuisance of herself. The teen was quite welcome at his house, hell she even had her own towel in his bathroom for heavens sake!
But her recent visit wasn't anything like the other times. So far all the young ninja had done was annihilate Vincent's targets, which Cid had set up for the ex-Turk since he practically lived with him and Shera anyway, and gotten the his friend worried. Hell, come to think of it he was worried too. Worse still, she was interrupting their afternoon tea.
Yuffie Kisaragi was not acting her usual annoying self.
The gunman sighed and tapped his sharp golden-clawed fingers on the kitchen table, his tea long since forgotten. One eyebrow lifted as he threw Cid a questioning and slightly irritated stare.
"Well what are you going to do about it then?"
"Me?" The blond spluttered reaching for his last cigarette and his favourite Mako Man lighter. "What the fuck do you mean 'what am I going to do'? I ain't gonna do shit!"
Just as he was about to spark his smoke, Vincent snatched the tobacco stick from his lips with lightening speed and shot him a ruby red glare. The pilot just snorted and rolled his eyes, a small scowl sneaked it's across his rough features. The gunman ignored it and continued.
"You know what I mean Highwind. The girl is obviously upset about something and is currently taking it out on my firing range. As her peer you should go and talk to her, sort her out."
Cid's scowl deepened as he tried to make a grab for his stolen cigarette and growled in frustration when the gunman moved it further from his grasp.
"You're her fucking peer too ya thieving bastard, why don't you go talk to her?"
"I'm a guest and it's you're house." He smirked. "No smoking in the house, you know how it upsets Shera."
"Fuck, Shera! She isn't even here and it's my damn house and I'll do what I damn well like!" He barked, trying desperately to reclaim his sweet nicotine from the other man, but failing miserably. Damn bloody mako enhanced speed.
"I'd rather you didn't." The dark-haired man replied with a smirk, enjoying the slight power he had over Cid.
The blond's face flushed. He almost fell off his chair and flat on his face as he lunged forward towards the cigarette Vincent was currently teasing him with.
"Asshole!"
The gunman chuckled and stopped his teasing and gave the foulmouthed pilot a softer, but still very serious look.
"Look, Cid. Yuffie obviously came here because this is a place she feels safe, which means on some small level she trusts you. So who else would be better suited to talking to her about whatever's troubling her?"
"Well why can't Shera do it? She's a woman! I ain't good at these girly things…"
The ex-turk rolled his eyes and easily dodged another half arsed grab by disgruntled pilot.
"Stop whining Highwind, Shera isn't here and this needs to be seen to. The sooner the better."
The captain gave an exasperated sigh and ceased his attempts to reclaim his smoke. It was obvious his friend wasn't going to give it back unless…
"Alright!" He cried, waving his hands in the air in defeat. "Al-fucking-right, I'll go talk to her. You fucking win, you happy now you sneaky goddamn turkey!"
The Ex-Turk smirked and nodded, frowning slightly at Cid's new nickname for him. However his smirk didn't last too long.
"But only if you come with me."
"What?" He blinked.
"You heard me Valentine, I ain't going out there by myself while she's acting all crazy like." The elder looking man jerked his head toward the backyard as a well-timed KERACK and SMASH rang through the rather untidy kitchen. " A man needs back up in situations like this."
Vincent frowned. Some man he was, he thought to himself.
"Fine, but you don't get this cigarette till after you talk to her."
"GODDAMN IT!"
Outside the young ninja was putting her Conformer through its paces. She had been hurtling her prized weapon into random targets for the past two hours, each throw harder than the last. With merciless precision and a cold-hearted glare that would even make Sephiroth wet himself, her targets met their unfortunate fate, each one only serving to fuel her burning desire to smash things.
Needless to say she was mightily pissed off.
She was even more pissed off when someone pointed out the obvious to her.
"Ya know there's nothing left to smash up right?"
Yuffie's eye twitched as she glanced back to see her two elder friends standing on the back porch, with Cid hiding ever so slightly behind the stoic Vampire look-a-like Vincent. God men could be such jerks!
She paid no heed to the pilot's words and threw her weapon again, successfully managing to take out a bird in mid flight. The shrunken was back in her possession before the poor thing had even hit the ground. An audible gulp could be heard from those with testicles.
"Or not…" Cid flinched as he began to back towards the door.
The gunman caught the pilot's movements and shoved him towards the teen. Cid shot his friend a dirty look, annoyed that he was still pushing him into this. Hell, he wasn't good at this kind of thing. Talking to girls in trouble or whatever was Shera's job, not his! He was a pilot not a fucking agony aunt!
"Erm, hey brat, I mean kid. Whatcha doin'?" He spoke, his voice slightly nervous.
"Isn't it obvious?"
"Erm?"
Cid looked back to the Gunman for help and Vincent just shrugged. What the hell did he know about talking to slightly homicidal teenage girls?
The pilot inwardly groaned as he stepped towards the young ninja with great care. One false move and she could cut his head clean off or worse still; slice his meat and two veg into oblivion. Luckily Yuffie had stopped flinging her weapon around now and was content to picking at its binding, but still Cid felt nervous. He was sticking his head into a Wutainese dragon's mouth.
"So er, what's up? You haven't said much since you've been here?"
"What? I'm not allowed to be quiet now?" She snapped, her grey eyes ablaze with unkempt furry.
Cid backed off, hands in the air in surrender.
"Hey, no! That's not what I meant damnit! I meant you've been awful quiet, down even. Not your usual self ya know? Hell you haven't even called me an old fart!"
"You're an old fart, you happy now?"
Cid growled his patience grew thin with every adolescent remark. He didn't need this all he wanted to do was drink his tea, smoke his damn smoke and enjoy his friends company. Not trying to sort out some moody teenager!
"Goddamnit Brat!" He barked, severely irritated with the whole situation. "What the fuck is up with you? Here I am worried about ya, trying to be nice to ya and I get all is this attitude and for what? You're the one that's upset about something. So what's up?"
Yuffie span round and glared at the pilot.
"Nothing okay, so just drop it!"
"No I fucking won't! Now come on, out with it! What happened? What did ya do this time?"
All of a sudden something inside the young girl snapped. All the anger and fire flew out of her eyes. She looked so wounded and Yuffie threw down her weapon and started to cry. Tears began falling down her reddened cheeks as she stormed past the shell-shocked pilot and bewildered ex-Turk and ran into the house sobbing her little heart out.
Cid looked back to Vincent and was about to ask what the fuck just happened when he saw the look in his partners sickingly red eyes.
"What?"
"Well done Cid, nicely handled." The dark gunman muttered before heading back into the house to managed the fallout, leaving Cid bewildered, needing a fag and pissed off.
"WHAT?"
To be Continued…
(A/N: Well what do ya think? Whats gonna happen? Will Yuffie be all right? Will Vincent get the truth out of her and will Cid ever get his fucking cigarette? Gods only knows, however if you give me lots of reviews I might just answer all of those questions. So thanks for reading and if you want more hit the button and tell me. So till next time.
PEACE AND PIES! XXXX R.G.)
