The Soul of a Broken Home
Inspired by the song Home by Three Days Grace.
"Is there anything else you need to take with you?" I heard her say. No. I shook my head. "Good, I'll see you in the car." I nodded and with that she closed the door behind her. A sigh escaped my lips. I was finally leaving this dreadful place I was once called home.
If I had been honest, I should have known this house was never a home. As I look around I can remember the scars, the pain, and the emotional distress I suffered on account of a so called family who used to call this house a home.
Never once did I feel the love of this family.
The funny thing is it wasn't my decision to leave this house. I was quite happy living a miserable life. I didn't mind if I didn't eat, had a decent night's sleep, or had money to buy new clothes. This was my refuge, when I needed to be alone I would come here. She didn't care, and it didn't matter because once she came back, I was already gone in my own world.
I used to care about what she thought. I tried to make her happy. I tried so hard. I cleaned her messes, stole for us to survive, and tried to get decent grades. I was almost damaged beyond repair. I was ready to sell myself, lucky I found Carly.
She saved me from becoming something I would regret the rest of my life. She doesn't know of course. She never knew how close I was to breaking before I found her.
Even though, I had found her, it was still dark. She helped me through the pain but sometimes it wasn't enough, because eventually I had to return to a family who didn't want me. It was my imprisonment.
The chains broke off today. Carly and Spencer broke those chains and set me free.
I'm not sure how they did it, but they did. After they found me passed out two nights ago from drugs. They took action. I received a long lecture from them both on the carelessness and consequences of my actions; I could have cared less about those consequences. I remember yelling at them, telling them who cares if what I did almost killed me. What I did with my body was my problem.
They were stunned beyond words. I felt smug; I finally had found a way to shut them up.
"Who cares?" I said. "I'm exhausted of trying to be something I'm not. I just want to be felt alone and have reckless fun."
The shock still hadn't left their faces.
"What!" I remember yelling at them once more before they surprised me.
"Sam, didn't anyone teach you that all life is precious." I could hear the sadness in his voice.
I scoffed. "Then tell me oh great ones, who what supposed to teach me that?" The sarcasm was dripping from my voice. Their faces changed from one of alarm to one of concern. Carly came at me with a bone crushing hug; as Spencer bite his lip. I could feel the tension building inside of him.
"What?" I asked once again.
"Sam." Carly spoke this time, with glistening eyes. "Where was your mom when you were…you known…out of it?" I wanted to laugh; she couldn't say how I had overdosed. So, instead I shrugged. To be honest, I didn't know. "She said something about going to New York with her boyfriend." I replied with an exhausted voice. They exchanged looks. "How long ago did she leave?"
"I don't know, about a month or two ago." Again they exchanged looks. I could tell they wanted to ask more questions, but I interrupted them. "I don't know when she's going to come back or how much longer she's going to be there for; the truth is that I don't know if that's where she is."
For the third time that night, they exchanged looks. I wanted to scream at them, make them stop and ask them what they were thinking. That's when Carly tightened her grip on me and said "Don't worry Sam, you'll never be alone again." Her voice was soft.
I could feel my tears flowing down my face and onto her shirt, just as her tears fell onto my shirt. From the corner of my eyes, I could tell Spencer was making a phone call.
Soon after that my life became a whirlwind of distraught, emptiness and warmth.
A Social Worker came by asking me questions about my life, my mother and everything else that should be kept a secret. I wanted him to go piss off, but Carly said, "it was for the best," and I believed her. Everything soon after that became a blur. Court appearances, a custody battle between the Social Worker and Spencer, and going into foster care for a week.
From what I heard, Spencer had found my mother and asked her custody of me. All her legal rights of her daughter would be taken away, and she would never have to deal with me again. As soon as he asked her, she answered. No doubt in her voice, yes.
I think that's what upset me the most, knowing she was willing to get rid of me so easily. You would think she cared more about her daughter or at least had the decency to think about it first; apparently, I wasn't worth it.
I wanted to tell Spencer and Carly; I certainly wasn't worth the effort but every time I opened my mouth to say something, they tell me to shut up and finish packing. I'm not sure what's going to happen from here on out, but I think everything will turn out okay.
With one last look, I close the door behind me. They say saying goodbye is one of the hardest things in life to do; not for me it wasn't.
A heartfelt goodbye was all it took.
Spencer is now my legal guardian, and for the first, I have a family to come home too. I know I'm going to be happy. Maybe not right away but eventually as long as I have Spencer and Carly by my side.
