Jane Lane: Ace Attorney
July 4, 10:00 AM
Courtroom No. 3
My name is Jane Lane, age 26. I've been an attorney for almost a whole year and until now, I only handled the smallest of cases. But for some reason, the big leagues have called me for my first honest to god murder trial.
Jane sighed and looked at her side, a menacing man (not in the physical sense, but in the elderly, sage, 'Godfather' way) was sitting next to her. He seemed to be rather bored at the moment. Jane looked down and started sweating.
The guy next to me? You know, the one that looks like James Woods? One of my bosses. Actually, he is the boss and making a good impression on him should be very high on my list of considerations for today's trial.
Jane sighed like longing for something. She looked up at the Judge that was about to sit down and frowned, the guy looked to be Santa's loony brother. Long, white beard, jolly eyes, and a placid smile on his face. The attorney looked at her boss for a second and started sweating again.
Jim Vitale is easily one of the scariest persons I know. Actually, scratch that. He is the scariest person in the planet. Period. But that shouldn't be important to me at the moment. I am exactly where I have wanted to be for the last few years.
Her boss seemed to sense her nervousness, "relax, Lame, nobody expects you to win this case, it's just for show."
She shook her head and redyed herself. I know that. That's why the big guys at Vitale, Horowitz, Riordan, Sorenson and Griffin put someone like me here. But I didn't accept it to please any of them. I did because-
The Judge's voice suddenly boomed. "I repeat. Is the defense ready?" The woman blinked, like half-dazed.
Jane shook her head as she stood up and smiled at the judge. "The, uh, defense is, um, ready, Your Honor?" Many people exploded in laughter. The few that were actually on the defense's side, were simply... puzzled.
Vitale pierced Jane with his eyes not really listening to the Judge calling for order. It looked like he was thinking whatever it was a better idea to take over her case or simply keep his place next to her and 'take a nap'.
Jane sighed. Believe me, any comic relief I may provide is entirely unintentional. I am, um, just, eh, a little nervous.
The judge narrowed his eyes at Jane. "Are you sure that's all, honey?" he almost said it like he was talking with a child that wasn't really sure what she was doing. That somewhat irritated Jane.
"The defense is sure, your honor"
The judge nodded, "remember, Miss Lane, your conduct during this trial will decide the fate of your client. Murder is a serious charge. For your client's sake, I hope you control your nerves."
Jane scratched the back of her head and nodded, "Thank- Thank you, Your Honor."
The judge shook his head, he looked like he believed her to be a lost case. "Very well, then." He looked at her one more time and rolled his eyes, "Miss Morgendorffer, I understand that the victim was stabbed?"
Daria Morgendorffer. The reason I put aside my art studies and did my best to become a lawyer. She is rightfully known as a 'genius' prosecutor. She's feared by every lawyer in town. Well, maybe my boss here is the sole exception. She's become a cold, heartless machine that won't stop until she gets a 'guilty' verdict, no matter what. No remorse, no regret. And to add fire to the fuel, she also is undefeated so far, hasn't lost a case since she became a prosecutor at the incredible young age of twenty. Of course, there are rumors of back-alley deals and forged evidence, but that just doesn't seem right with the Daria I remember.
Jane sighed as Daria, wearing a lacy, Victorian-era-looking green jacket stood up, "the victim was found in the defendant's apartment at noon. The cause of death was a knife in the victim's back, it has been determined to be an instantaneous death." She sat down, not once bothering to take a look at Jane.
I'd better not show any signs of weakness today, or she'll be on me in an instant. She's like a shark, that way.
The judge shook his head with a grim look on his face, then, suddenly, he smiled jolly, "I see, it's obvious to me, the defendant is guilty as charged!"
Jane opened and closed her mouth. Okay, it's nice to know that His Honor is notorious for his impartiality. She shook her head and yelled at the top of her lungs, "Objection! The defense demands a fair trial!"
The judge gave Jane a long glare, "very well, but this better not be a waste of everyone's time, Miss Lane."
Jane bit her thumb and whispered, "okay, I need to get my act together. The evidence is my only ammunition in court."
Her boss snorted. "You really are a rookie, aren't you? Just remember that truth is relative, pick one that works." He rolled his eyes, "I didn't even review this case and I am damn sure I could get this bimbo," he pointed at the defendant, a rather busty looking blonde, "cleared of all charges and, probably in bed, by..." he looked at his watch, "Ten thirty."
My client is none other than former Lawndale High cheerleader, Brittany Taylor. She couldn't have done it, she wouldn't harm a fly if she could (or wanted to, heh). I believe she was framed, framed of the murder of none other than local Goof and Football hero, Kevin Thompson.
The judge smiled at Daria like she was his granddaughter or something, "Miss Morgendorffer, the prosecution may call its first witness."
How come when he says my name it's always with contempt? Jane sighed and her sweating only got worse at that point.
Daria leaned on the table, resting her chin on her hands and kept her usual monotone as she said, "the prosecution calls the chief officer at the scene, Detective Gumshoe to the stand."
Dick Gumshoe? What a weird name, not that I am anyone to talk, I mean. Jane shook her head and sighed looking at the man that suddenly appeared in the stand. He looked like he needed some cleaning, and also could use an extra brain cell or two.This does not bode well.
Daria slammed her table with an open palm and frowned at the man, "Witness, please state your name and profession to the court."
The man scratched a bandage on his left cheek, "Um, you already know my name, Sir."
Daria took a deep breath and massaged her temples, "please don't call me sir, do I look like a sir to you? Do I look like Peppermint Patty or something?"
Jane blinked. I never expected Daria to be a closet Peanuts fan. Should I write this down? Nah, gotta stay focused.
"Uh, sir!" Gumshoe scratched the back of his head, "My name is Dick Gumshoe, Sir! I'm the detective in charge of homicides down at the precinct, sir!"
Either he is as dumb as our victim was, or he is just a wee bit scared of Daria and can't reason well around her. Could use that to my advantage. Jane smirked, barely containing the impulse to laugh maniacally.
"Detective Gumshoe," Daria said a little too forcefully, her eyes glaring daggers at the poor man, "describe for us the details of this murder."
"Very well, sir!" His eyes widened at the look of anger in Daria's face and he quickly corrected himself, "uh, Miss! It's quite easy to to explain." He looked inside his pockets and then smiled as he found something. He revealed a picture of the murder scene, it didn't show anything Jane didn't already know about it: Kevin Thompson face down with a knife planted on his back, water in the floor and the apartment a complete mess. "See this?" He said pointing at Kevin's corpse, "that's the victim, this is the knife, which was the defendant's and that's also the defendant's apartment."
Daria raised an eyebrow, "so...?"
"Eh," he blinked and looked down at the picture, like wondering why he was being targeted by Daria's anger, "uh, it's obvious that the defendant is guilty!"
Daria shook her head, looking painfully tired, "Now, Detective... You immediately arrested Ms. Brittany Taylor, who was found at the scene of the crime, correct?" Daria paused for just a second before the detective could answer, and added with the smallest smirk: "Can you tell me why?"
"Yes!" he nodded with a big smile, "she was at the scene of the crime when it was reported and I caught her myself just a few feet away from the body! I had hard evidence she did it, sir!"
Jane rolled her eyes. He obviously forgot he's not supposed to call her sir.
The Judge gently stroked his beard, "Hmm. Detective Gumshoe, please testify to the court about this hard evidence of yours."
"Objection!" Jane stood up and pointed her finger at Gumshoe as she shouted, "before this so called 'hard evidence' is presented -which I'm sure is just a pile of **** anyway- can the detective please explain how he came to be at the scene of the crime so quickly? It has been established on the report that he was at the scene just moments after a scream was heard, right? My client's scream."
Gumshoe frowned and put his hand over his mouth, it was obvious he was thinking hard, "Uh, we got a 911 call, of course."
Jane shook her head, "911 call? But who called? When?"
Gumshoe looked at Daria for help, "jeez, am I supposed to remember that stuff?"
Daria shook her head with the smallest of grins, "do not worry, detective, the defense is just showing their faults by trying to make you look like a poor excuse of an investigator who can't even remember why he was at the scene of the crime in the first place."
Jane made a face. That's not what I said! That was all you!
Daria shrugged, "anyway, why should the 911 call be so important? More so than the detective's hard evidence even? I say the defense should be given a warning for their cheek."
The judge nodded, "quite right, the 911 call is irrelevant, Detective Gumshoe's quick thinking made it possible to catch the killer just before she was about to escape, he should be awarded, not interrogated about such trivialities!"
"Excuse me?" He is talking like Britanny's already been declared guilty!
The judge glared at Jane. "Miss Lane, if you keep going at it I will have no other choice but to finish this trial and declare your client guilty of all charges. Is that what you want?"
"Uh, no."
"Then keep quiet and let the nice detective say what he needs to say."
Jane glared at Daria. How did she do that? I'm sure that call was important and she made it look like it was nothing and even had the Judge totally against me. I guess the rumors are true. She bit her thumb. All I know for sure right now is that Daria hates crime with an almost abnormal passion. Abnormal enough to not look at evidence that can easily proof Brittany's innocence.
"Relax, Lame," Vitale said grinning like a madman, "you're doing a good job, I never seen Morgendorffer try to get the Judge to disagree so strongly with the defense so early in a case. That shows she's worried about something." He covered his mouth with his index finger, "interesting, isn't it?"
"We only need to figure out what she's worried about, right?"
"We?" The old man laughed cruelly, "That's your job, Lame, not mine. I'm only second-chairing because I wanted to have a first row seat to the show."
Daria interrupted whatever thought was crossing Jane's mind with another slam on her table, "detective, are you going to talk about your hard evidence or are we going to sit here for a year?"
"Uh, sir, well, for starters," he said raising a finger, "there were hairs in the victim's hand that belong to the defendant, but that's only the first thing that caught my attention."
Daria crossed her arms, "but what was the definite thing that caught it?"
"Uh, caught what, sir?"
Daria sighed and groaned, "your attention, detective."
"Oh, right, sorry about that, sir." Gumshoe blinked and nodded to himself, "the murder weapon had tons of fingerprints that belong to the defendant. Besides, there was no one else nearby that could have done it."
Jane slammed her table with closed fists, "Objection!" She then pointed at Daria, "every piece of evidence the prosecution has presented is only circumstantial, at best. The fingerprints are obviously there, because that's Brittany's kitchen knife! And the hairs? Detective, there are simply tons of alternative explanations for that. This case screams and roars 'reasonable doubt' from every angle!"
The judge seemed to consider Jane's words. "That's quite right, detective, your so-called hard evidence isn't so hard after all."
"Hold it!" Daria yelled as she slammed her own table with enough strength that her stuff fell on the floor, "the defense obviously needs to update their law studies, it is not their job to present reasonable doubt, but to prove to this court that their client is innocent. Sure, the evidence against the defendant isn't as solid as I'd like it to be, but it is solid enough and I'd like to remind His Honor that no one else was near the scene of the crime so the only reasonable culprit is the defendant," she slammed her table for effect, and pointed at the woman sitting next to Jane, "Brittany Taylor, the victim's on and off girlfriend!"
Everyone witnessing the trial started talking among themselves. Most were Kevin's fans that were glaring daggers at Brittany and heart fully agreeing with Daria. It didn't take long before the court erupted in a ruckus, more appropriate for a football match rather than a trial.
"Order!" The Judge warned, "Order in the court!" He repeated.
Gumshoe had a 'puppy' look on his face, "Uh, Your Honor, there's still something else I'd like to clarify."
The Judge gave the outside actors a warning glare, "you still have the word, detective."
"Right, well, the victim had a cellphone, he recorded every one of his calls, so there's a motive." Gumshoe's mood lightened and he chuckled good naturally.
Daria calmly put her glasses down and stared at the detective, "why didn't you tell me about this before?"
"Uh, surprise, sir?" All the confidence he had somehow gained had disintegrated itself in an instant.
Daria sighed, "I wish it was, detective, I wish it was." she shook her head and raised an eyebrow, "well?"
"Well, what?"
Jane rolled her eyes. This guy sure knows his trade. Probably thinks he already told us everything he knows about these calls."When are we going to hear about this so-called motive, detective Gumshoe?"
"Oh!" The man blinked, "wasn't I clear before? Oh, well, the victim had an affair with, well," he blushed, "the whole cheerleader squad."
"WHAT?" Brittany shrieked, "that good for nothing two-timer!"
Jane barely managed to contain her need for pointing out that 'two' wasn't exactly the right number in the situation. Instead, she focused on her client's reaction, "it's obvious that Brittany didn't know of this."
Daria wasn't impressed, "the reaction to the witness' statement could've been an act, but that's beside the point."
Jane folded her arms, "she's a terrible actress, and you know it, Daria."
"Hey!" Brittany glared at her attorney.
The auburn haired woman looked at the defense attorney like she was some kind of insect. She acted as if she hadn't heard. "Like I said before, that's beside the point."
"Right! Because the call that caught my attention was the last one!" Gumshoe looked like a kid playing his favorite game, "the defendant invited the victim to her house and she sounded furious!" He pumped his chest, looking proud, "here's the recording!" he said raising an old walk-man from his jacket.
Daria face-palmed in disbelief, "why are you keeping yourself this stuff?"
"Uh, wasn't keeping anything, sir, just... forgot about it." He made a helpless gesture and kept quiet under Daria's glare.
The Judge shook his head, "detective, I advice you to not keep information to yourself in the future."
Daria crossed her arms and nodded, "it will not be good if you suddenly have your paycheck cut in half."
"Not in half! Please!" Gumshoe wailed and Jane thought she saw tears in his eyes.
The judge sighed, "this is not the time to talk about that, detective, do you have anything else to say before the actual cross-examination begins?"
Gumshoe scratched his chin, "let me think about it, huh, not, nothing much."
The judge looked bemused and nodded, "Miss Lane, you may begin your cross-examination."
Jane looked at Brittany for a brief moment, great, she's too busy cursing Kevin to actually realize she's probably going to prison for a long time. She turned to Daria, with hope that somehow she gained some kind of Telepathy that would allow her to know what she didn't want her to know. She massaged her eyes for a moment, trying to think what to say. As nothing came to her, she desperately looked at every piece of evidence a second time.
She blinked when she saw the picture of the scene of the crime that Detective Gumshoe had taken. It suddenly made her think about an old comic-book she knew Kevin used to read almost as much as the dreaded 'Ratboy'. "Oh, my, god." It hit her, she actually knew what had occurred and who was the person that had ended Kevin Thompson's life. She allowed herself a predatory smile.
Jane sighed deeply trying to guess how she could sell what she believed to be the truth to the judge. Having Daria as the opposing party certainly wasn't helping matters.
She crumpled the photograph in her hands and quietly decided her course of action. She needed the cross-examination to go as smoothly as possible, just to get the Judge to not declare Brittany guilty in a blink of the eye.
Jane stared for a moment at Daria. Any move I will make, she will undo. I got to make her change her mind before I even begin to try to get the Judge to declare Brittany not guilty.
She stood up and put both hands on her table. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath, "Detective, how would you describe my client's apartment?"
Gumshoe blinked and scratched his ear, "the apartment? Well, it was a mess. As you can see from the photograph I took."
Jane shook her head, "I don't mean the murder scene, but the rest of the apartment, how would you describe it?"
"Well, tidy, of course, she's a pretty girl after all, right?" He blinked a couple of times, like wondering why he was being asked such a 'stupid' question.
Well, mine is a complete mess, so your logic is hardly sound. But that's beside the point. Jane sighed and grinned, "but the murder scene was, as you said before, a complete mess. Why do you think it was in such a state?"
"Well, my guess is that there was a fight, or something. Can't really explain it any other way." He scratched his ear and then put his finger on his mouth, tasting it. Eww!
Daria narrowed her eyes, clearly seeing were Jane's questioning was going, but she was used to edgy defense attorneys, and she was also used to this particular man, "Detective, you've had a long day. Shut your pie-hole."
"Yes sir!" He was immediately quite rigid and, to Jane's surprise, blushing madly.
Jane sighed in exasperation. Gumshoe indeed! He's like gum in your shoe. You can never take it off! She shook her head. "Your honor, she can't just shut up the witness!"
The Judge struck his gavel and shook his head, "Miss Lane, the witness has answered all your questions, now, stop whining about Miss Morgendorffer's methods and start acting like an adult."
"But Your Honor-"
He lightly tapped the gavel, just enough to stop Jane from saying whatever she was about to say, "Miss Lane, it looks to me like you belong back in the kitchen and not in this courtroom."
I guess the beard isn't the only part of His Honor that is from the stone age! Jane gritted her teeth, "fine, Your Honor, I will not whine any more."
The Judge smiled like Santa Claus, "that's great, young lady! Now, let's go back to what we were doing."
"Right," Jane knew that stealing Daria's momentum would be hard, she needed something big. She considered for a moment Gumshoe's blushing face Could there be anything going on between him and Daria?
Daria's intense, yet cold, stare told her everything she needed to know. There is! That's almost the exact same way she used to look at Tom when he was doing something dumb! Heh. Good times.
She shook her head and turned her attention back to the man in question. "Detective, before the interruption, you said you believed the mess in the room to be the product of a fight between the victim and the defendant, is that right?"
Gumshoe opened his mouth to reply, but before he did, Daria exclaimed at the top of her lungs, "OBJECTION!"
The Judge raised an eyebrow, "on what grounds?"
Daria actually took a step back and frowned, trying to say anything reasonable, the best she could come up was: "I... object... for the sake of objecting!"
Jane massaged her eyes, "this got to be some kind of joke, are we all idiots in here or what?"
The Judge narrowed his eyes one more time at Jane, "Miss Lane, I warned you about your whining!"
"But she objected with no real reason!"
Daria sat down and smiled, "withdrawn."
"Fine, don't punish her for acting like a clown." Jane went back to Gumshoe, "Detective! Answer my question!"
The man blinked and then looked at Daria for help. She simply folded her arms, obviously not intending to keep distracting the Judge with theatrics. Jane meanwhile, pressed on, "Detective! Is it your educated guess that the disorder was the product of a fight between the victim and my client?"
"Huh," The man scratched the back of his head, "Yes, I already said that." He looked at Daria and blinked, "didn't I?"
Jane pointed at Brittany, "Don't you think there's something wrong with her, if that was the case?"
"Something wrong?"
"She has no bruises of any kind, how do you explain that a big, strong, Football player would not be able to hurt a small woman like her? If the mess was the product of a fight, it certainly wasn't with my client!" It was clear, consider the state of the scene of the crime, it had been the product of a big fight, or it was staged. Either explanation proved Brittany's innocence.
"HOLD IT!" Daria hit her table like a madman, "Jane Lane, impressive, but then again, so were the Dinosaurs."
The defense attorney bit her lips, "what are you up to now?"
Daria didn't bother to look at Jane, she addressed the Judge directly, "Your Honor, the defense is obviously trying to pin the murder on someone else, explaining that the state of the murder scene was a product of a fight, thus excusing the defendant.But Jane Lane didn't consider that Brittany Taylor could have staged the mess." She took a piece of paper from the floor (as it had fallen thanks to her continuous strikes at her table) and extended it to the Judge. "This report establishes that the mess in the room wasn't from a fight."
The judge put his glasses on and tried to read said report, "Huh, I don't really understand all this fancy stuff."
"Figures," Jane said with a deadpan, "you already knew what I was going to do, didn't you?"
Daria raised her hand and shook her index finger, "Lane, you're a rookie, I am at least twelve steps ahead of you."
Jane glared daggers at Daria. She couldn't believe that this was the same woman she had befriended years ago, the same one that helped her become a better person. "Go to hell." She said, and for the first time ever, she meant it.
However, the prosecutor didn't seem bothered by the comment, perhaps she was used to it. She replied with a straight face: "I have a cabin there. Wait. That's Montana. But then again, is there a difference?"
Jane closed her eyes. She will not be convinced of Brittany's innocence as easily as I thought. I need her to be reasonable, the problem is that she's anything but. She stood up and sighed, "You really think Brittany would have planned that far ahead?"
Daria quirked an eyebrow at that, "her?" She regarded the blonde cheerleader for a moment, "if she had it in her to murder someone, she had it in her to plan ahead."
Jane shook her head. "If she did it, it was a crime of passion, but your explanation for the mess in the room doesn't add up to that theory. However, I agree, someone staged that room." She smirked, "someone else."
Daria took a step back but regained herself quickly enough, she knew what Jane was about to say. "Kevin Thompson. Right. I actually thought about that the moment I saw the room."
"But?"
Daria shrugged, "I decided it had no place in my investigation. Maybe Brittany killed him after he wrecked the room. And considering my experience on murders, I say that's the case."
Jane shook her head, "right, next you're going to say that Mack Mackenzie offed him because he was sick of being called 'Mack Daddy'. Daria, think for a minute, doesn't this whole scene seem familiar to you?"
Daria remained silent.
Jane took notice of the hole in her opponent's defense and stroke. "The thing is that this is a copy-cat killing. The person that ended Kevin's life was imitating something he had seen in an old cartoon of all places!"
The Judge held his beard and massaged it, "Miss Lane. You are truly the most unpredictable defense attorney I've ever known. I can tell you're grasping, yet I cannot deny the possibility of what you say. Keep going, please."
Jane blinked, surprised. His opinion really goes with the wind, it seems. "The person that killed Kevin Thompson could not possibly be Brittany Taylor!"
Daria stood up, her face getting red. "Objection!"
The Judge tapped the gavel, obviously wanting to know what Jane was about to say. "Overruled!
Daria, however, wasn't about to give in. She said in her best imitation of a 'sweet, perfect, child' voice: "Objection!"
And, predictable enough, the Judge gave in. "Sustained!"
"You've got to be kidding me!" Jane exclaimed, grabbing her hairs from her head. She then blinked, looking up at her hair. "Oh."
Daria frowned, "oh?"
Jane smiled, "of course, the photograph Detective Gumshoe took shows the victim with quite a few hairs in his hand, hairs that belong to my client. THAT'S how I will prove this is just a copycat from that cartoon!"
Vitale smiled at that, "oh, this is getting interesting."
The Judge blinked, "yes, those hairs are proof that miss Taylor is the killer!"
"No, they're not. They're proof that she isn't!" Jane exclaimed, striking her table just as hard as Daria was used to.
The auburn haired woman furrowed her brow, "that picture is worth a thousand words, and they all read 'guilty', anything else is an obvious mistake on the defense's part."
"No, that photo doesn't read guilty, but innocent! It was staged to make it look like Brittany had done it, but he overdid it with the hairs!" Jane was smiling like an idiot savant, "if Kevin struggled with Brittany and managed to take a few hairs from her before dying, that would mean that the victim was facing towards the killer."
Daria opened her mouth to retort, but after a second of considering it, she closed it again. "Oh. I see."
The Judge looked back and forth at both the defense attorney and the prosecutor. "'Oh. I see.'? What do you see, Miss Morgendorffer."
Daria closed her eyes and sighed, "usually I'd say that my job is to win, and Justice is God's problem. However, the truth is that our job is to find the truth, no matter how painful it may be."
"I don't follow you."
Daria rolled her eyes, "what the defense, oh so clumsily, was trying to explain, is that Kevin Thompson was in fact, not-murdered."
The Judge's eyes looked like eggs, "huh?"
"He committed suicide. I don't know why, I truly don't care. But that's the case. He probably took the idea from a stupid old show he watched as a kid, like say, Case Closed or something like that. He made a mess of the room, then took a kitchen knife and put it in a big chunk of ice. He raised the thermostat to the maximum and called 911. He took the hairs to make it look like Brittany had done it and then he jumped back on the knife offing himself." Daria yawned and stood up, "the state withdraws all accusations to Miss Taylor. I got better things to do with my time." She glared at Gumshoe, "if someone had done his job better we would have seen this ages ago, and saved the state's money and this court's time."
Gumshoe pointed at himself. "I am to blame?"
The Judge still looked speechless, "uh, I don't really know what's going on, but I guess I should call this, case dismissed." he tapped the gavel and stood up. "Miss Taylor, you're free to go."
Jane sighed in relief. "Oh, god, can't believe I actually pulled it off."
Brittany hugged Jane, "Oh! Jane you did it! Thank you, thank you, thank you! I should go now, I have to catch up with lots of boyfriends!"
Jane's boss didn't look as happy as Brittany, "you could've done better. This will not count as a loss to Morgendorffer, since she decided to drop the charges."
Jane looked a little green, "I got our client out of jail, didn't I?"
"Yes, that you did."
Over the corner of her eye, she saw Daria yelling at Gumshoe. "I will lower your pay this month!"
"Bu-but I need to eat!"
The prosecutor rolled her eyes, "fine, I'll pay." Jane could have sworn that Daria was actually smiling at the man.
"God, I don't want to know what she sees in him."
