Hey. Ok well my life is pretty fucked up, but it is NOT like this. I was daydreaming and thinking about how I can screw my life up more and I imagined this. Soo yeahh. There's swearing, drinking, smoking that crap. Well hope you like. It's pretty sad btw. Well hope you all read this and think about how blessed your lives are.

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight. SM does. Damn it…

BPOV

I'm Bella and I'm 15 years old, and live Jacksonville Florida. I'm not natural. My hair is dyed different colors all the time, I always have black nails, I'm addicted to heroin, have a cigarette and smoking addiction, have a drinking problem and to top that I've had more family's than you can count! Why? I'll tell ya why! I'm screwed! And here's my fucked up story.

My father got murdered on the job when I was 10. My mother remarried to a great man named Phil. He became a second father, and made my mother happy. When I was 13 Phil got diagnosed with Cancer and died the next year. My mother committed suicide because of it. That's when Kate found me. She's my social worker, best friends, free therapist, and sister to me. She helped find the best foster families that want me, but I don't want them. I'm originally from Forks, but moved here when my father died when I was 10. I haven't been there since.

So many times I tried to take myself away, to be with my parents again. It's either cutting, burning myself in showers, OD'ing all the time, running away, getting too drunk that my body can't handle all the alcohol, and any more things you can think of I've tried. And failed. Miserably. Kate keeps asking me what I want. Every time I tell her 'to be with my family'. She said we always can't have what we want. I tell her to shut the fuck up.

When I was 13 I met Marcus. We instantly clicked and we were like big brother and sister. When my parents died and I couldn't cope with the pain, he introduced me to cigarettes. Said they'd help and they did. Then weed. Then heroine. I got addicted, I guess you could say. Then I met Victoria, or Vic, she would kill you if you called her Victoria. She smoked weed, and did heroine. Tanya just smoked.

We always had parties. And what kind of party without, booze? A boring one! Do I sound like a boring girl? No! So guess what?! We had booze there. Getting drunk, and wandering the streets. One time I woke up in an alley way, naked next to a 30 year old across town. I called Vic right away. She was my best friend, and we were sisters. Inseparable. No one could break us apart, we were that close. Of course she was there when I first OD'd. She saved me, I nearly died. Actually, that's what I intended. She wouldn't allow it.

So here I am, A 15 year old with her innocence gone, druggie, has a huge hangover, and sitting with Vic and Tanya in a jail cell. What did we do? Got caught with heroine on us, and for trying to steal vodka. Nothing new, the cops here knew us by name.

"Where is that pathetic girl?!" I heard my foster mother Irina shout, with Kate right behind her with a clipboard in hand. Of course I was getting moved to another family. There's a shocker! Note the sarcasm?

"Bella" she sighed.

"Hi Katie" I said getting up. She was paying bail.

"Bye Tanya, call me" I said giving her a gentle hug. Vic stood up too and gave me a hug and a peck on the lips. We weren't romantic just really close. The guys on the other side cat-called.

"Bye sweets" I said.

"Bye babe" she sighed and flopped back onto the bench next to Tanya, The dude opened the door and I was let out.

"Bye chicas" I sighed as we left.

"Bella, you're going back to my house now. Irina and Laurent packed your bags and everything's in there. Nothing else is at their house. Everything you own is in there. C'mon I need you to sign here, and we'll be on our way" she said and handed me the clipboard and pen. I grinned and signed putting a heart at the end of my name. Irina signed quickly and sped off in her car.

"Nice knowin ya bitch" I muttered. Kate gave me a glance and I fumbled in my pocket for my cigarettes and lighter. Putting it between my lips and lighting it I took a long drag. I immediately felt comfort. I breathed out the smoke and Kate sighed and put her stuff in her car and put the timer for the parking spot on 10 minutes.

"Bella, I think I found you a new family. They just need to fly down here and meet you. So you'll be staying with me and Garrett" she said. I nodded. Garrett's her boyfriend. They've been together since freshmen year in college. He's bound to propose.

"Alright" I said taking another drag. She looked at it with disappointment.

"I thought you were going to quit" she said. I shrugged and threw it on the ground, crushing it with my sneaker.

"C'mon, let's get you home" she said as she threw my 2 suitcases into the car. I got into the passenger seat. She fumbled with the radio and Jason Mraz's 'I'm Yours' came on and Kate hummed along, knowing that the song annoyed me. Love? Psh, yeah right. If there's such a thing called 'love' then why are there divorces?

"You're really going to like this family" she said. I nodded.

"They deal with troubled teens who lost their parents too" she said. Troubled Teens? Ha! Good luck. You have no fucking clue how 'difficult' I am.

"Bella it'll be good" she started but I just tuned her out.

Well there you have it!!! Bella. Told you it was sad. I got depressed listening to this, plus listening to Satellite Heart didn't help. XD. Well R&R!!!

Ughh I'm sooo pissed off right now! ok well I made an account but since I'm a new member I tried uploading this and it said I can't wait for two more days. Ughhh, suspense is killing me!! Well I'm gonna go before I ramble.

You Know I'm Adorable

Elizabethh