Disclaimer: I don't own CSI: NY.
Series: 'Kindred Spirits' – full list on my profile.
Spoilers: Can You Hear Me Now? (4x01); Silent Night (3x12).
Can You Hear Me Now?
"We need to talk."
In her half-asleep state, Jess's first thought was a break-up, but then her mind caught up with her and she realised that she and Don weren't dating, so that couldn't be the reason.
It was Sunday morning, she had the day off, his shift didn't start for two hours and he'd turned up outside her apartment with a frown and a statement.
"Sure." Jess stepped back to let him in. "What's up?"
"I was thinking about what you said the other day." Don answered calmly. "About not having tactical training. That's why you weren't at the hostage situation at the warehouse."
"Right." Jess agreed. "I don't …"
"But there was another hostage situation, wasn't there?" Don asked, not looking at her. Instead, he was standing by her sideboard, looking at the photographs it bore.
Jess recognised the interrogation technique – don't look 'em in the eyes; make 'em guess why you're there – and that worried her more than the detached tone of his voice. She frowned, trying to think back. "Oh … You're talking about that woman, right? Gina Mitchum and her granddaughter."
"Right." Don turned back to face her and she sank onto her couch, unable to look away even as his gaze pierced through her.
"Don …" She began.
"Why?" He asked quietly, not letting her finish. "I assumed you had the training; why didn't you tell me otherwise?"
"I didn't …" Jess sighed; 'I didn't get a chance' suddenly seemed a weak excuse at best. "I don't know."
"You don't know?" Don repeated incredulously. "You walked into a situation you weren't trained to deal with – which could've gotten us both fired if it went south and Gerard found out – and you don't know why?" His phone rang and he answered abruptly. "Flack. Where? Got it." He hung up. "The Statue of Liberty's bleeding." He told her shortly. "I've gotta go in."
"Anything I can do?" Jess asked quietly, avoiding his eyes.
"Yeah." Don headed towards the door. "Think of a good reason why I shouldn't write it up."
As the door closed behind her, Jess let her head fall into her hands with a sigh and closed her eyes, thinking back to that night; to finding her route home blocked and getting out to find out what had happened; to finding herself crouched behind a squad car, a terrified child in her arms.
She'd known that Don would be annoyed when he found out, maybe even mad, but nothing had prepared her for the disappointment in his eyes. It would have been better if he'd yelled at her, she realised, feeling tears pricking the backs of her eyes. She wiped them away furiously, refusing to sorry for herself.
Jess didn't know how long she sat there, but it must have been several hours, because the next time she got up, it was to answer the door once again.
Once again it was Don and her gaze dropped automatically, unwilling to meet his gaze, but his actions surprised her.
Placing a gentle hand on her shoulder, he guided her inside and shut the door, before pulling her into his arms and holding her tightly. "I'm sorry."
"What?" Jess pulled away, putting some distance between them, needing some distance between them.
"I'm sorry." Don repeated. "It didn't occur to me last night what had actually happened at that scene and I should have waited a few days before talking to you, because I always overreact."
Jess raised an eyebrow. "Stella tell you to say that?"
Don grinned sheepishly. "Maybe."
Jess shook her head. "No. You're not giving me the easy way out, Don. I screwed up."
"Yeah, you did." Don agreed. "But that doesn't mean I wasn't outta line this morning." He approached her again, brushing the hair from her face gently. "It scared me, Jess. If things had gone south …"
"I know." Jess sighed. "We'd both have been fired."
"You could've been hurt." Don corrected. "That scared me and that's why I reacted in the way I did."
Jess sighed, walking back to her couch and sitting down, looking up at him tiredly. "So you drag me out of bed on my day off, yell at me, make me feel incredibly guilty over something that I've already beaten myself up over once and it was because you were scared I could have been hurt?"
Don flinched and sat next to her. "Yeah, that about sums it up."
Jess was silent for a few minutes. "You know, if I'd known that it was a hostage situation, I wouldn't have gotten out the car."
"But you did." Don stated unnecessarily.
Jess nodded. "When I came over, it wasn't to offer actual help, just … I dunno, see if I could lighten the load … something. And then you dragged me over to the squad car and I suddenly realised what you needed and I didn't have a chance to say anything; there was a baby who needed help and … it's not as though I actually did anything – I was behind you, remember?"
Don didn't respond and she shifted closer, slipping her arms around his waist. There was a pause, then he sighed and returned her embrace, kissing her forehead.
"You're my best friend, Jess, but you're gonna be the death of me." He murmured.
"I'm not your best friend." Jess argued with a grin. "What about Danny?"
"Messer's not as pretty as you are." Don grinned back.
There was a bang outside and Jess looked up sharply. "Car backfiring." She decided with relief, but not because she didn't need to deal with a shooting.
Don had flinched at the noise, but not in the same way she had. She twisted round to face him.
"What?"
Don frowned. "What do you mean?"
"You just flinched." Jess told him.
Don shrugged. "So did you."
"No, I stiffened." Jess corrected. "It's different. What's wrong?"
Don sighed. "Jess, you know whenever I ask about your ex, you tell me you'll tell me one day but not now?"
"Yes …" Jess answered slowly.
Don's lips twitched in what could have been a smirk. "I'll tell you one day but not now."
"Hmm." Jess wasn't convinced but let it go. "And you know whenever I say that, you tell me that you're here if I need anything?"
"Yeah?" Don prompted.
Jess smiled softly. "I'm here if you need anything." She was anything but smiling on the inside though.
She understood why he'd been mad, of course she had, but it wasn't the only time she'd screwed up and he hadn't reacted that way then, not even close.
If it was anyone else, she'd be upset, but that it was Don worried her, simply because it was so out of character; now she thought about it, Don had been acting strangely over the last few weeks.
She thought about repeating herself, asking him what had happened, but resisted; she knew him well enough to know what pushing the subject wasn't going to help.
All she could do was what she always had done; watch his back and be there when he fell.
AN: If anyone can guess why Don's acting weird, there's a virtual brownie in it for them (Clue: It's got nothing to do with potential feelings he might have for his partner.)
In other news, I do have a channel on YouTube, no CSI: NY videos up (yet – although I can't use video clips on my laptop for some reason, so any videos I do put up will be made of stills – I've got a Flangell one in the works) but there's a load in my favourites that are amazing, so check them out.
And if you haven't read the CSI:NY novels, for the love of all that is good, read them! They're amazing, especially Four Walls (although Angell's 'Jennifer' still, which is a bit weird to read).
And, as always, review please!
