Disclaimer: I do not own a thing =(
Song: Wakey! Wakey! – Light Outside
A/N: I know Rhythm of Love is waiting an update, and as of tomorrow you should, hopefully, see one =)
So enjoy this for now while I get back on track!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Because You Saved My Life Once -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
I know you want to stay in bed
But it's light outside
It's light outside
So know I am going to stay right here
Because you saved my life once
You saved my life
Derek stood in the archway of her apartment, just watching her as she lay there, on her side, her hands tucked under the pillows, her back to him. He'd sat on the windowsill; all the while she just stared ahead, slowly blinking every so often, not really noticing his presence.
She was just silent for the whole time.
Like a part of her had been finally destroyed and he couldn't for the life of him begin to think of where the downfall of his brightest star had begun.
Maybe around the time she was shot? Or when he nearly died in New York? Or when he was appointed acting unit chief? Hell it might have been when Foyet targeted him. Or ever when Tamara Barnes entered the scene and quickly exited. He sighed, it could've been when JJ left, or when Kevin broke up with her. Hell it could've been her will to keep the team as intact and close knit as possible when all seemed to begin to unravel.
He might not be able to pinpoint the exact time that Penelope's fire began to extinguish within her, but he could sure as hell ignite it and reform her back to what she used to be.
He thought what a new day would do, that after a full night's sleep, she might wake up rejuvenated, vibrant, alive, realise that all of humanity wasn't out to kill off one another. Yet as he now stood there in front of her, he realised that when no sleep occurred, and a catatonic state took over, seeing a brand new day was no option to be had.
As she blinked again, he knew that the one person that had claimed her love and saved him day to day was now in need of more love and saving herself and if he had anything else to do that day, it was to save Penelope how she had saved him countless time.
And I would try to get you out because it's beautiful outside
And we will fall
We will try
And do our best and I love you otherwise
Because you saved my life once
Because you saved my life once
Derek pushed off from the windowsill that he had taken to sit on and went and crouched down by Penelope's bed. He ran his hand over her face, her eyes closing at his touch, the rest of her barely registering as alive at that moment.
"C'mon Princess, I think you need some fresh air," He started, his voice was calm, soothing and he just pulled one of Penelope's hand free from under the pillow and held it, "I think my sunshine needs a little sunshine herself."
Silence greeted him still.
"Baby Girl, it's a beautiful day, a beautiful new day," He continued to try, "summer's really settling in, I know you love the days leading to summer, you love the feel of the breeze and the smell of the air." He remembered, "You love how calm it makes you, how it revitalises you. It'll do you good."
"I'm fine here," She told him, her voice so void of emotion.
His effort diminished in three short words.
Derek bowed his head for a moment, he didn't realise a case would eventually destroy this woman; he didn't know anything could kill her, not after everything she had seen, heard and experienced.
But then he realised that that was the problem. She'd been through too much.
"I know you are, but I just think a little bit of air will make you feel better."
"I'm fine here," She repeated.
Derek felt at a loss in that moment.
I know you want to rest your head
and just forget the night
forget the night
So you know I am going to stay right here
And sit by your side
By your side
Only the night before did Penelope witness a man kill an entire family, making the mother wait until last to be executed. The pain and misery, the utter desolation she had to be subjected to as she watched each of her children be murdered and her husband was something that was engrained into her memory.
Every last detail was still there. On loop.
All this as a result of being sent a homemade video by the Unsub himself. The mad man playing a game with the team as much as he was with his victims.
"You can go home," she finally mastered, after actually acknowledging that he was well and truly there, and had been since midway through the night.
"If you refuse to go out, Baby Girl, I refuse to leave." He told her, his tone still remaining calm, yet his voice was stern and held strong on the promise lacing that sentence. "It's a done deal, I know you wanna just lay there and forget the last case, and that's understandable, but I refuse to leave until I'm satisfied."
"You don't need to."
Derek leant in, now remaining perched on the balls of his feet, his hand still clasped around hers, "I want to be here, Beautiful."
Penelope nodded, her eyes finally pooling with tears that she had refused to acknowledge, "thank you." She whispered and sucked in a shaky breath, "so much." She finished and exhaled longingly.
"I love you," He said kissing her knuckles softly, "so there are no thanks necessary." He rested his lips on her bare knuckles for a moment, finally seeing her eyes stare into his, her despair written all over her eyes.
I think you always knew would be
I think you always knew would be
The greatest
I think you always knew would be
I think you always knew would be
The greatest
"I thought no bad day could come between us?" He asked her rhetorically, "I know right now that seems like so much bullshit but it's true." He told her, a hand coming up to stroke the side of her face gently, arousing her out of her quietened state some. "What happened, you know, we couldn't have done any better. I know what's going on in your mind, Baby, I know you're looking back and realising what you could've done, but Penelope, you were everything they needed you to be. They might have lost their lives, but you cracked the case because of them."
"She watched them die, Derek," Penelope finally muttered, "She had to watch her own children die," her voice became a slight sob, "What's the point in being a mother if ultimately you can't protect your children?" She asked, squeezing her eyes shut in a bid to stop the tears and floods of memories, "why be a mom if you can't keep you children safe?"
"So what, you wanna wrap whatever kids you have up in bubble wrap and lock them away for the rest of their lives?" Derek asked her back, "Most mother's aren't faced with life and death situations like last night, she was claimed the first victim the moment that son of a bitch laid a finger on any one of her family. Baby, what you saw was no different to what other people have been through, it's certainly not the worse, so why has this case got you like this?"
"I familiarised with the victims," she said and slowly brought her hand to push some of the tears away, Derek immediately sighed, she knew it was a mistake, but she couldn't help herself.
It happened before she had it as a cognitive thought in her head.
"E-Ever sinc—since you and me, I dreamt about having a family, about a life with you and that woman last night, she had it all. The family, the doting, loving husband and in a heartbeat she watched it all disappear and it terrifies me that that could happen, and I feel guilty for letting it happen, for letting her watch that and then lose her life. It feels like my fault, if I'd been quic-"
"Whoa, whoa, whoa, Baby Girl, you don't get to play the blame game," Derek cut her sentence short; "You do not get to go there with this. You did your job, you were on limited clues, you did what you do best with what you had and you caught the bastard on what you had. You did us proud, you might not see it, but you saved another family as well last night, Baby."
"But..."
"No buts," he hushed her, "You saved another family, Penelope, what don't you get about that?" He gently asked her, and he waited for her response and she didn't have the words, "You're a hero here Penelope, you just need to get your ass out of bed, get a shower, some fresh clothes on, some food, and get outside in the open. You need to realise that even you can't save the world, Goddess."
"What did I do to deserve you?" Penelope asked as her eyes welled again and her emotions became rapid once more.
"Saved my life," Derek said leaning in and kissing her on the lips at last, "Now let me save yours this once."
He said and stood up, the moment of truth bestowed upon them. He put his hand out and watched for her response.
Penelope looked away from Derek's face, to his outstretched hand.
Then in a leap of faith, she took his hand and allowed Derek to save her for once.
Because you saved my life once
Because you saved my life once
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Because You Saved My Life Once -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
A/N: Little bit of bitter sweetness there, hope you liked =)
