I love Disney movies. I love Naruto. I rewrote Poor Unfortunate Souls for Orochimaru. I'm not sorry.


Disclaimer: Neither The Little Mermaid nor Naruto are mine.

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I'll admit that in the past I've been a nasty

They weren't kidding when they called me rather strange

But you'll find that nowadays, I've mended all those ways,

Repented, seen the light and made a change

(True? yes!)

And I fortunately know a lot of secrets

There are talents which I always have possesed

And child lately (please don't laugh)

I use them on behalf

Of the miserable, lonely and depressed

(Pathetic…)

Poor unfortunate souls- in pain, in need

This one longs to find a friend,

This one a place within this world

And I help them- yes indeed!

Those poor unfortunate souls!

It's sad! But true.

They come crawling to me, begging crying "Help us, master, please!"

And I help them! Yes I do…

Now I've mentioned once or twice, my help must come with a price

I'm afraid you'd have to walk across the coals.

You might hear the odd complaint- I never claimed to be a saint

To those poor unfortunate souls.


The men in there will spout their righteous blather

I think you'll find their lectures quite a bore.

Well in here, I'm sure you've heard you'll never hear a nagging word,

And after all, child, what's that idle prattle for?

I know you're not all that impressed with hearing lectures

You'll find that I avoid them when I can.

If you don't wish to be a pawn, then come and turn and face the dawn

You don't have to hold your tongue anymore young man.

Come on you poor unfortunate soul!

Go ahead- Make your choice.

I'm a very busy person, and I haven't got all day.

So say something little boy.

You poor unfortunate soul

It's sad- but true

If you want to cross the bridge, dear boy, you've got to pay the toll

Take a gulp, and take a breath, now take my hand it's time to go.

(Kabuto look, now we've got our boy. The boss is on a roll.)

This poor unfortunate soul!