"The Argument"

Setting: The breakfast scene from my other YYH story The Cabin. I am putting it as a separate story since I promised the next chapter would be round two of their challenge. Kuwabara just scored on Yusuke with a "slick burn".

Yusuke just stared at Kuwabara with his mouth gaping open.

"What's the matter detective? You run out of clever catch phrases?" Hiei jeered, with his custom smirk. "You should close your mouth before something flies in it."

Yusuke clenched his fists so hard that his knuckles turned white.

"Oh…you're…going…down…tonite…shorty!" Yusuke managed through clenched teeth.

"Actually," Kuwabara chimed in, "I will be going down to clench another vict…"

"That's it!" Yusuke shouted, diving across the table to tackle Kuwabara, not caring about the dishes and food he knocked over.

"Damnit Urameshi!" Kuwabara managed to choke out, from his headlock.

"Ok smartass," Yusuke challenged. "Say something else. I dare you!"

Kuwabara managed to reverse the headlock into a full nelson hold. "What now, Urameshi!" Kuwabara challenged back.

"Boys!" Hiei admonished, visibly annoyed. "Do you mind playing somewhere else?"

Kuwabara dragged Yusuke into the living room, still in his stranglehold.

Kurama shook his head. Together they stared at the mess.

"He's such a big child," Hiei said, clearly exasperated. "I'm always cleaning up behind him; he leaves a trail of mess everywhere," Hiei fumed, clearing the table.

"Well it's a fair exchange, considering as much as he does for you," Kurama replied.

Hiei glared at Kurama. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"From what I have observed this weekend you have no reason to complain. A gourmet meal every day, massages, not to mention all the attention he lavishes on you and the pleasure…"

"So that's what this is about. You jealous?" Hiei accused.

"Not at all Hiei. Just observing."

"Well, keep your observations to yourself. Our relationship is none of your business."

"You are correct. However, I have a newfound respect for Kuwabara."

"You didn't respect him before?" Hiei narrowed his eyes.

"Of course I did, I have always respected his loyalty and his honor code. How he was always willing to 'take on for the team' as he put it. How he never gave up. Now I respect his wisdom, his intelligence and his open mind."

"That's a lot of compliments coming from you." Hiei eyed him suspiciously.

"What do you mean by that, Hiei?"

"I saw the way you were looking at his dick last night," Hiei accused. "So tell me fox, what was going through your mind as you were eyeing my lovers cock?"

"Why don't you be more direct Hiei? What exactly do you want to know?"

"Are you going to try to seduce him?" Hiei cut to the chase.

Kurama maintained his calm expression, but Hiei knew that he was seething inwardly.

"Certainly not. However Hiei," Kurama's voice was as cold as ice and his eyes were as blank as slate. "I wouldn't take him for granted. He may just tire of you one day."

"He can't leave me," Hiei said, shakily. "We are bonded. He could never take another mate as long as my mark on him."

"But he may decide to live separately," Kurama continued his ruthless assault. "Maybe he doesn't want to be treated like your butler or a piece of property."

"Fuck you Kurama!" Hiei exclaimed loudly. Luckily, the boys were too occupied to notice. "What about you?"

"Excuse me?"

"Aren't you a boy toy? When did you decide to be an uke? In the makai the legendary Youko Kurama took any lover he pleased, and never bottomed."

"That is none of your business," Kurama said stuffily.

"Oh, so my love life is yours? And if you are not a boy toy tell me what 'my fox strokes anything I tell him to' and 'whose ass is this' means."

"It's called role play," Kurama was visibly annoyed now.

"Whatever you say, lover boy."

"Now who's jealous?"

"What do you mean?" there was a sneer on Hiei's face.

"You envy my adaptability. A good lover can be seme or uke."

"Don't be ridiculous," Hiei sneered.

"That's why don't bottom much," Kurama said silkily. "you are too insecure."

"WHAT DID YOU SAY?" Hiei shouted.

"There is nothing wrong with you hearing, Hiei," Kurama replied regaining his cool. "Unless there is another reason."

"And what might that be?"

"Perhaps it is uncomfortable. Kuwabara is of formidable girth."

"You son of a…" Hiei was clenching and unclenching his fists. "That's what this is about. You want to get your pretty little hands on my lover. Well, hands off Kurama, and if you even think about it I'll…" Hiei was visibly shaking now.

"Not to worry Hiei. I know how touchy you are about that kind of thing. You can't even handle a friendly demonstration."

"I can't handle it? What about your boyfriend? We heard his temper tantrum. I thought he was going to strike you."

"Yusuke would never do such a thing," Kurama retorted. "And he is not my boyfriend; he is my mate for life!"

"Relax Kurama, no need to get all touchy." Hiei was still pissed, but also pleased to have gotten a rise out of Kurama. "I was just making sure you didn't have any plans to seduce Kazuma."

"I would never do such a thing," Kurama said, haughtily. "I left that behind in my Youko days."

"Is that so," Hiei said smoothly. "Then explain Yusuke."

"I beg your pardon?" Kurama hissed.

"You heard me. You took him right from under that girl's nose." Hiei answered. "And you scared the shit out of her with your Youko tactics."

"That was different," Kurama said through clenched teeth. "Keiko was manipulating him."

"Sounds like the pot calling the kettle black."

"It wasn't the same! I was in love with Yusuke. She was in love with a fantasy."

"Whatever you say, fox. You, as a master thief of precious items used all of your tricks to ensnare him 'hook, line, and sinker' as the ningens say. Once you fucked him once or twice you had him thinking he was in love with you."

"He is in love with me!" Kurama cried.

"Whether he is or not is of no consequence now." Hiei was enjoying giving Kurama a taste of his own medicine. "You marked him so he is stuck with you for now. And I am sure that you have some tricks to keep him thinking he is in love with you."

"HOW DARE YOU!" Kurama shouted. He was breathing heavily and angry tears were in his eyes, threatening to fall.

"Don't dish it if you can't take it fox!" Hiei shouted back.

"Yusuke loves me, and I love him. You don't know what love is. I wouldn't expect you to understand."

"What did you say?"

Kurama closed in for the kill. "You had a loveless life. You don't know how to love. You picked Kuwabara because he could pity you and be willing to put up with you."

"YOU ASSHOLE!" Hiei screamed, leaping for Kurama. Hiei had a butcher knife in his hand, ready to decapitate his best friend. Kurama retrieved his rose from his hair and was ready to strike.

"I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU!" Hiei was screaming.

"TRY IT!" Kurama screamed back. "I'LL SLICE YOU IN HALF!"

Hiei lept and Kurama got ready to summon his most deadly weapon.

Hiei was caught in mid air by Kuwabara. Yusuke had his hand wrapped around Kurama's wrist.

"Hiei?" Kuwabara asked. "What's going on?"

"Yeah, what the fuck is this?" Yusuke was far less tactful.

"Ask him," Hiei spat, trembling.

"Well?" Yusuke let go of Kurama's wrist.

"We were having a discussion that got out of hand," Kurama replied shakily, trying to regain his composure.

"Discussion?" Is that what you call accusing me of using Kazuma as my slave?" Hiei was so close to tears that his huge ruby eyes were stinging.

Kuwabara flushed. "Did you say that Kurama?"

"Never mind that. What about the insinuation that I seduced Yusuke for my personal gain and that he doesn't love me?"

"What!" Yusuke shouted leaping from his chair. "You said that? Answer me bitch!"

"Urameshi!" exclaimed Kuwabara.

"You better get that cockroach out of here before I whip his little ass." Yusuke threatened.

"Over my dead body!" Kuwabara yelled. "Besides, Kurama started this shit, I just know it! He likes to provoke people. Behind that calm demeanor is just an obnoxious bastard!"

"You muther-" Yusuke went to punch Kuwabara but Kuwabara caught his hand.

"I don't know why you're angry at me Kuwabara," Kurama replied. "I was merely pointing out how one sided your relationship is."

Kuwabara flushed with anger.

"Yeah Kuwabara," Yusuke chimed in, "everybody knows you're his bitch."

"Fuck you!" Kuwabara shouted. Kuwabara rarely used profanity, he found it very rude. "Anyway you're one to talk. You have turned the legendary Youko Kurama into practically a woman."

"I'm going to whip your ass bitch!" Yusuke shouted, running for Kuwabara with Kurama struggling to keep him at bay.

"Whatever. We're leaving before one of us does something we will regret forever." And with that he turned and walked out of the kitchen, carrying his lover with him.

Holy sh-t! What's going on here? Why are Kurama and Hiei so upset about the accusations? Will Kuwabara and Yusuke be able to comfort their distraught lovers without killing each other? Find out next time when The Argument continues!